Then and Now

Check out the Young Me Me Now website - it's a very cool idea with some pretty neat side by side pics, of you guessed it people recreating a pic of them when they were young, now. Another of those brilliantly simple idea that will leave you thinking "Why didn't I think of that?"

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Either way, it looks like a fun game to play, so if you do lemme know. Even if you don't submit the pics, share them over this way. Bring a smile to your favourite blogger's face.

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I bring this up because in the past week I've been getting my kids' movie on (big surprise, eh?), including finally watching Wall-E; which was another Pixar winner, and some scathing social commentary, although I'm probably one of the last people in the free world to know that. If you haven't seen it yet, do yourself a favour and ch-ch-ch-check it out.

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I also rocked Disney's The Jungle Book, which I have no idea how true to Kipling's Mowgli stories really is, but damn if I didn't enjoy it all over again and this movie must have one of, if not the best, Disney movie soundtrack. I mean come on, check this, or this, out and tell me you're not doing a little chair dance of your very own right now?

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I know I am. Shit, it might have an even more infectious groove than the B-Boys' Intergalactic. Okay, maybe as infectious.

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Another thing I hadn't noticed as a kid was just how much the characters in Disney's Robin Hood looked and sounded just like the characters from The Jungle Book . . . pre-windows cut and paste action I guess.

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Well I think that's it . . . maybe next I'll watch Pinnochio, haven't seen that one in yonks. Or maybe I'll just check out Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer instead.

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Until next time.

Back to Back Entries

Ahhh the viral video . . . you know them you send them, people send them to you the whole world watches them, but who has time to watch them all? If you're unlike me and too busy to waste vast amounts of your time in such trivial pursuits then have I got the answer for you, a sweet compilation of the greatest of the viral videos.

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I think I love Boxxy although there is something mighty appealing about Buffy the Cookie Monster Slayer. I guess it's safe to say that I still carry that torch for comic book girls . . . speaking of I nearly had geek love over load the other week when watching an episode of What's New Scooby Doo when Daphne was dressed up as Catwoman at a comic convention on the show. Mui Caliente.

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Ever get your iPod earbuds all tangled up and not know how to get them untangled? Well have I got the video for you, after watching this you'll know how to untangle your headphones using just a simple cat. It appears to work but I can promise I'm not going to give it a go myself.

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Since I'm already helping you out here, do you ever have to buy someone a gift but you're either too lazy or uncreative or don't care enough to pick the gift yourself? Well here's the solution for you, just have a vague idea of what your giftee is like, make a few clicks and the internet will come up with some suggestions for you. Ah the internetz is there nothing that it can't do?

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While we're talking about the things the interwebs can do for you, how's about taking a look at seven crimes that will get you a smaller fine than file sharing. I know stealing is wrong, even if it electronic intellectual property and not a physical item but that seems more than a little off (provided the information is accurate of course and that's one of the beauty things about the internet it's constantly updated with the most up to date accurate cutting edge and the most up to date completely wrong and made up information going - that's why I love the Uncyclopedia) and perhaps law makers need to take a step back and re-evaluate things a little.

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Ah well that's her for now, until next time.

Someone really likes tug of war

Oh you know I totally submitted this link to Awkward Boners.

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Here's to you gets overly excited while wearing track pants to a charity event constable guy.

Bbrrrraaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnnsssssss

Well if the internets don't just keep getting better & better.

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If you want proof, check out Zombies or Not which is an undead version of Hot or Not, Rate My Ride or Rate My Rack. And while we're talking Zombies how's about a nice article featured both on Cracked and Zombies or Not, how 7 iconic movie characters would do in a zombie attack. I thought it was worth the read, but I'm often thinking and planning how to get through a zombie invasion and/or World War Z.

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If you're looking for help getting through WWZ yourself perhaps you can look to this novelty Zombie Survival Kit for some inspiration. Or maybe this one up for auction on eBay will help? My only piece of advice is remember, you never have to reload a blade. Thank you Zombie Survival Guide your practical advice and case histories may just save my bacon yet.

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And here's some good news for the Zombie Movie Fan, it's reported that Peter Jackson, maker such fine pieces of classic cinema as the Lord of the Rings trilogy and Dead Alive (the custard scene will be with me forever), is to direct a Nazi zombie time travel movie. Now if that's not a movie with epic win written all over it I don't know what does.

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He may not be a zombie (yet) but last week the wrestling world lost one of its greatest managers of all time, the one the only Captain Lou Albano. Paul Heyman has a decent good bye article to the Captain on his website here with some fond memories and a bit of insider information.

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PS - I swear it wasn't me that did this. But I do think it's funny.

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PPS - Someone, quick, help me write a love poem for Katy Perry.

I think I overslept . . . until October

First off let me open with "Fuck this weather, fuck it in its stupid ass". I've had enough of this, and we're not flooding out or anything, just 3/4's the way through April still with snow on the ground, and oh yeah some of it's nice and fresh. Ah well maybe a pic of Jenn Aniston topless will chase away the weather related blues.

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Did you know/realise that today is the 10th anniversary of the Columbine High School shooting rampage? If you're rocking this sweet shirt from T Shirt Hell you probably already knew that though. Oh how time flies, eh? And now this has become part of culture and language.

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Also if you haven't heard legendary (??) porn star and Ivory Snow box model Marilyn Chambers was found dead at age 56 in her trailer home. More here if you're interested. At one time I had a copy of Behind the Green Door on VHS . . . I don't recall anything about so either I didn't watch it (unlikely) or it wasn't that stand out.

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And here's some interesting news for the (non-Somali type) pirates (learn the shocking truth about pirates here) out there - the four founders of The Pirate Bay have been sentenced to one year in prison for copyright infringement. You can read more about it here, but don't fret about the Pirate Bay going down, I hear Google is just as good as anything else for searching out the torrents.

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You know I haven't been too sure about where to go on holiday next, but after seeing this maybe Cyprus is in order?

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And oh yeah, Happy Birthday Adi and happy 4/20 to my stoner readers out there.

Looking for a moderately amusing way to burn a couple minutes?

Sure of course you are, or you wouldn't be here now would you. Not that I'm judging or anything, I mean if you didn't visit I'd just be another on-line equivalent of the crazy old guy muttering to himself in the produce aisle about how everything sucks now.

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Anyway if you want to have yourself a small chuckle, or perhaps sobering realization, go to Google and in the search box type your name followed by needs and hit search. In case that was confusing let's say your name is Marco (Polo), so you'd go to Google and in the search box you'd enter "Marco Needs" and have yourself a little laugh at the outcome . . . either that or curled up in a ball in the corner rocking back and forth like an austic kid sobbing away because of how right the search was and how fucked up you really are.

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No matter, when I tried playing according to Google I need:

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• more sleep and less hangover
• a girlfriend
• to retire
• a roller derby name
• spanx
• to get lucky
• more than luck (think this and the last are somehow related?)
• no drawbar
• a band
• a new hair style
• work and
• readers

Told it was good for a guffaw, and surely some of you think that list is right on a few spots - but hey you're entitled to your opinion just like the Googles are. So what did Google tell you that you need?

Well that's her for now, until next time.

Do you like . . .

. . . cool stuff and saving money?

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Of course we all do, so you'll be glad to hear that the fine folks over at What On Earth are taking 25% of the items in the Outlet Store section of the website. You'll need to enter a coupon code from their email when you're doing your check out in order to get the discount.

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Happy shopping, remember Giftmas is just around the corner. And hurry the offer ends at 11:59pm EST on November 23, 2008

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Cough WNV8CLR Cough

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Laters.

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PS - With this post I've set a new best for posts in one month. Hoo-ray me!

Is your cat plotting to kill you?

Apparently . . .
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Check to see if your cat is trying to kill you here and check for the signs here.

And if it's not my cat that's trying to kill me, seems that the airline I fly on regularly for work (in the summer time it seems like every week) is. Looks had a little runway/landing gear incident with one of their planes way up in Fort Severn. You can check out some pics and a little info on the incident here, but please remember I'm not responsible for the Nickelback song playing the whole time you're on the site.

That's her, I'm outta here.

All I Want for Giftmas

Is this. I want it so bad I can taste the dog stolen turkey and feel the wood of the Fra-Jeel-Eh splintering under the might and power of my crowbar.
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I mean how awesome is that?
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Seriously . . . I'm going to revise my letter to St. Nick right now.

This Might Prove There is a God

Then again it might not, but certainly is proof that somebody loves us dearly. Seems that the good folks who brought us bacon salt, because sometimes you can't add bacon to make everything taste like bacon and like the product tag line says everything should taste like bacon, J & D have unleashed their newest culinary sensation on the world, Baconnaise. Which is just like it sounds, bacon flavoured mayo.

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Imagine that bacon sammich, bacon, lashings of brown sauce, baconnaise and a few shakes of bacon salt. Don't forget a slice of tomato in there somewhere too. Sounds glorious don't it?

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In case you aren't into shopping online or can't find bacon salt and baconaise in your local stores why not try the recipe included with this blog post and make your own bacon mayonnaise? If you don't like that one there's another at the end of the second page of this interview. If you do whip some up let me know how it turns out and maybe share a sample or two.

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I'm sure you'll be looking for something to wash it all down with, so why not try some bacon bourbon because we already know what a big hit bacon vodka is. Now every civilized person is going to be looking for some afters, so why not hit for the bacon cycle and have yourself some bacon ice cream for dessert?

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All I can say is it sounds heart-attack-aliscious.

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If you found my bacon themed lunch appealing perhaps you'd also be interested in checking out the Retrosexual Man's Code. Although I honestly think that the last line of that code should be something along the lines of:

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"A Retrosexual Man never reads lists of things defining his retrosexuality."

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I just think that'd be a nice kick in the junk, after all you can learn about being an old school manly man who shaves without foam, owns one belt, one pair of shoes, holds doors open and offers to help ladies and old folks with boxes from a list on the internet. But what do I know of such things?

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In case you are man and a manly man at that and are okay with book learnin' and readin' you may want to check out Esquire's list of the 75 books every man should read. I've only read three books off the list myself.

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No matter . . . hey maybe you're bored, maybe you're a bit of a voyeur, maybe it's a bit of both. Well worry no more, because here on this one single web page someone has compiled the 25 best webcams of 2007. Okay sure I know it's almost 2009, but hey it's there, so either go watch 'em or don't.

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If you're looking for a webcam closer to home, or at least closer to my home, check out the webcam feed of the construction of the new hospital being built in my lovely little town.

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Hey I like cars, you like cars, I live in the environment, you live in the environment. This should be of interest to us all - so check out this article about the new Mercedes Benz hybrid that gets a whopping 30 miles per gallon and it will only cost you $100,000. Now here's me, but I'm jaded and cynical thinking, 30 miles per gallon? That better be in stop and go city traffic because if it's not then it's basically Mercedes saying "Fuck you environment and car buying public, we're just in this for the marketing tag line here and hope people don't think too hard about what we're actually selling them."

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I say this because my Camaro, with all its 8 pushrod controlled cylinders and 350 (okay 346) cubic inches (that's 5.7 litres in case you don't know ci) and automatic transmission gets 30 miles per gallon on the highway. If you can't do better than that with a hybrid system you'd best be heading back to the design board to try again.

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Until next time, Boom Goes the Dynamite.

So I heard it from a friend of a friend of mine . . .

. . . ah yes the urban legend, a great tradition, and likely one that will never be stopped. They're too much fun, and with the ease of the Internet and email you can spread them like wildfire not just from house to house but right around the world with a couple key taps and a mouse click.

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One bit of advice though, odds are if you get an email that's been forwarded a billion times to a zillion people warning you about the dangers of pop cans, plastic food containers, aliens reading your thoughts and stealing your PIN number, residents of whatever country you're in writing to their government requesting to become an illegal alien for its lucrative benefits, missing kids or dogs, gang initiations, oh fuck it the list could go on forever, you've seen them and you've probably sent them. Odds are, it's not true.

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I mean come on people think about it for a minute, if there was some news that was this earth shattering don't you think it would be reported in a legitimate news source other than your crazy old Aunty's email account who got it from her friend who got it from her nephew who's going to University in the city majoring in bong hits and minoring in Arts?

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But who knows, some of these emails might be true, like the ones from Nigerian Princes, the ones for cock enlargement and mortgage refinancing . . . man if I had the time to respond to all of these I'd need a wheel barrow to carry my johnson in from my house, on its 82nd mortgage with rates so low the mortgage companies are actually paying me for the opportunity to float me the loan, to my money bin for a Scrooge McDuck style swim in my fortune.

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Just do me one little favour, if you really really really must forward one of these emails, fact check it first, please?

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Make sure there really is a little girl out there who will get a nickel from Bicks for each time this email gets forwarded to pay for her emergency surgery to remove her body which is made of burlap and leaves and has to live in a giant pickle jar because she has no immunities and her parents can't afford a proper bubble for her to live in. Personally I like to do my checking of these things on Snopes (I'm sure there are other sites, I know some how like to fact check here when it's generally accepted that these guys are a better source of information, after all their tag line says they are the world's only reliable news source) they've got a really good database there and a whole lotta interesting information too boot.

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No matter, at least you can test your urban legend knowledge here if you like. I rocked 22 out of 30 on the beginner level and 14 out of 20 on the Advanced level . . . so I guess I'm fairly consistent with my urban legend knowledge.

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Since tomorrow is Halloween, let's get in the spirit, eh? Here's a collection of the 35 most insane Halloween costumes from around the world from the good people over at Cracked. Number 26 and 18 are big time winners in mine book.

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Number 20 just looks like some kinda fucked up holiday themed Luchador, but I'd love to see him wrestle. I could see him finishing his opponents with some kinda stiff and straight falling headbutt while shouting "Timber". Fuck I should be a booker. I mean that idea's no worse than GI Bro.

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Now how's about these vintage pictures that capture 'Halloween in the Time of Cholera'. Number 8 creeps the shit right out of me.

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Now it's time for more top notch reporting from Cracked with the 6 Signs You're About to be Attacked by Zombies. I don't know about you but I'm starting to prepare for World War Z (film scheduled for a 2010 release) . . . I already believe there is at least one zombie wondering the streets of my fair home town.

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And here's a list someone has compiled of 25 scary movies to watch for Halloween. I'd say over all a good list, no idea why Poltergeist and the Blair Witch Project are on it though.

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I think that's the Halloweenie stuff I've got for today, so how's about we go with one of the finest examples of vanity license plates I've seen in who knows how long, and that's saying a lot because generally I believe that vanity plates are not cool. Someone thought long and hard about that one, and kudos to them . . . and who knows, maybe they are the other other other white meat.

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Right this is probably about long enough already, but I've got one more thing to share before I goes . . . ever here of a little Canadian band that tried to do everything they could so no one would know they were from Canada, eh, called Rush? Maybe you have, anyway check out these guys who are at least as awesome who rock some Rush on kid's toy instruments. If you liked what they did with Rush you'll love what they do with Metallica's Master of Puppets.

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Later taters.

Just a quick one . . .

. . . I'm flying off to Sachigo Lake this morning for the day, so I don't have a lot of time, but I'm here so I'll share something. Not one of my usual northern haunts, but hey that's how it goes, right? Right.

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But hey who wants their MTV? I know someone must, so here's some good news, sorta. MTV has launched a website that's populated with entirely with music videos that you can watch and/or embed in your site or whatever. Downside I tried looking for two videos (The Cardigans - Lovefool and Motorhead - Ace of Spades and what I really wanted to figure out is if The Cardigans did a cover of Ace of Spades because for some reason I'd like to hear that) and neither were there, but maybe they're working on it.

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Guess there's no need to slag off Youtube just yet, after everything is on Youtube.

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And hey according to this article, I was right all along. Seems that the study referred to in the article reports that sharing your feelings after a trauma may not always be the best medicine, so suck it up buttercup.

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I think I'll leave you with this gem, quite possibly one of the greatest episodes of animated television ever, Megadeth on Duck Dodgers. I mean how can you go wrong with spaceships being blowed up the metally fury of guitar lasers? Answer me that.

I'll Remember You

Sebastian Bach has gone country. What's the world coming to? Sure I mean I can see Hootie going country. But it's true, if you don't believe me check it out for yourself.

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Now compare that to 18 and Life (which trust me sounds awesome in a Camaro, if you don't believe me maybe we can test it out in the spring). A classic for sure.

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Maybe a better comparison is I'll Remember You, but you get the idea. No matter I'm not heart broken over this, just thought I'd share.

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Well let's put some edge back on this, so here's a good interview with Ian MacKaye (of Fugazi, Minor Threat, Teen Idles, The Evens, Embrace, Egg Hunt, Skewbald/Grand Union and Pailhead).

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And to put a bit of cartoony back into it, how about Metallica's "The Four Horsemen" (I remember seeing Metallica on that tour in the old Winnipeg Arena, my first concert ever, I might still have the concert shirt upstairs, although it'd be way to small and faded nicely as only metal shirts can do) recreated entirely in an NES synth? Check it out yo. Man it's so awesome you'd swear it was nine bit sound!

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If that tickled your fancy then you'll also love the 8 bit NES Synth Final Countdown.

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All right that's enough of that for now, eh? It's no secret that I've travelled a bit and I'm huge mark for almost anything English so naturally when I read this article, I thought sweet here's one, or I guess I should say two, big reasons to go back to England. Then I read this one and was over to Expedia to check some flight costs.

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And shit while I'm over there might as well check out Scotland, I mean reading this article seems like it's an all right place to me. At least they've got their priorities straight.

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Speaking of priorities although it might seem early I've nearly worn out my Sears Wishbook so Chrimbo must be close at hand and that means you need a tree. I don't, but for some reason you do.

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Can you tell me why? I mean other than the fact your mum and dad did and so did their mums and dads? No matter it's always been so, so why stop? Anyway let me save you some work and show you where you can order your every own replica Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. Pretty awesome eh?

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PS Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia.

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Well that's enough of that. Think you're white and nerdy? Well find out just how white & nerdy you may or may not be here. Apparently I'm 42% white and nerdy. How do you stack up?

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Well I think that's her for now, but I will sign off with a treat for the fans of wrestling and nudie magazines. Before she was a WWe Diva Mickie James did her time doing nude modelling and here's a nice set of photos that eerily foretold the future.

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PS - check out the video I posted today, looks like someone has uploaded the entire and unedited Nirvana Unplugged performance, uncut to Youtube. Sure the quality's not the best and it's over an hour long but it will bring you back to those halcyon days of your youth when the only thing cooler than dressing in flannel and Docs was not giving a shit about anything.

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Oh slacking, non-committal Gen-X where are you know? In your cube, decked out in chinos reading this probably. FTW.

Happy Birthday Jerry Lee

It seems that on this very day way back in 1976 Jerry Lee Lewis opened up a couple great balls of fire on his then bass player Norman Owens while trying open a pop can with a .357 magnum. Mr. Owens survived and went on to sue Jerry Lee over the incident . . . but this just makes me think, I had some really lame party games at my birthdays.

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Oh well I guess if you're the kinda guy who'd marry a 13 year old cousin behind your family's back you're really going to know how to tear it up. Unlike anyone who signs on for the course being offered in Jedi studies by a UK university. You can read a bit about it here, but just remember no matter what you do don't drunkenly leap over a fence proclaiming yourself Darth Vader and start to beat on the Jedis in training with a broomstick. Just ask this guy.

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Although another word to the wise, if you're a grown man and going to start a Jedi Church and have lightsabre battles in your backyard, be prepared for attacks from the Empire (and no I don't mean Starbucks or Wal Mart this time) and just suck it up when you do. A lump on the head and bruised leg seem like small potatoes in the grand scheme of things, and come on you were asking it for it.

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Since I mentioned evil empires up there we may have to add IKEA to the that list as well, seems that Israel has some how disappeared from maps sold by IKEA in Abu Dhabi, or at least that's what I read here and why would they lie. Oh those crazy Arabs.

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Well I think it's time for something decidedly less serious - how about a comprehensive list of 15 reasons why Canada is better than your country . . . unless of course your country is Canada, in which case we've just created a vicious circular reference that may lead to the end of the world as we know it.

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And while we're talking about the greatest of Canada, how's a $12, 000.00 speeding ticket from Alberta. When I first read this article about an Albertan speeding on a motorcycle my first thought was "Wow his insurance is going through the roof".

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Honestly, how lame a reaction is that?

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Then I thought, must be a crotch rocket . . . then I thought that's a little higher (3 km/h) than the top speed of my car - not that I've reached those speeds . . . but I can say there was a time when I said to myself "Self you're never going to drive that fast again" - and in case you're curious it may have been faster than the guy in the Chevy Cobalt mentioned at the end of that article.

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You've likely heard about already, but legendary actor Paul Newman recently died, here's an early article about the man and his death. It's too bad Mr. Newman is gone, but his films and popcorn and salad sauce live on.

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And in honour of Episode 1 of Season 3 of Heroes tonight, here's some pics of Hayden Panettiere popping out of her bikini a little on her birthday. Talk about happy birthday to you. Enjoy.

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That's her for now . . . takin' it off here boss.

I Don't Believe It

So Wednesday I read the local paper, because as we've discussed that's what you do and well holy sheep shit if there isn't an article, on the front page no less, that actually sounded critical, in a kinda passive agressive way but critical none the less . . . or at least that's how things appeared to me.

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If you're interested in seeing that I'm right or proving that I'm wrong check out the "Town Council Votes Against Development Charges". Reading the article I really got the impression that the reporter was pro-development charges and doesn't think that the correct decision was made. So now we're stuck in the spot having to use tax increases to pay for all the development that's going to be happening here in town in the next while that's being forecast.

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How can we tell that we're in for a flurry development? Why all the empty shops and businesses for sale around town that's how . . . oh and the pretty much indefinite mill layoff. Those are all great signs of a town on the move. I just can't wait for travelling singing monorail salesman to come to town, because we all that the monorails they bought in Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook put them on the map.

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After reading about the development fee bylaw being voted down I thought now that's a good thing. Then I had a little flash of brilliance . . . it's generally accepted by many and often thought by me that this council has made some bad decisions, some would say habitually, but not me because that word is hard to say . . . so taking that into account one would have to conclude that in fact development fees were exactly what this town needed (who cares that we're the only one in NW Ont that would have them, but then again where not shrinking at the same rate as every other town in NW Ont either) or the council is starting to see things right. Let's hope it's latter and not the former, eh?

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Oh well enough of that for now - let's get onto the real business at hand . . .

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According to the article if you've been punching out kangaroos and putting up videos on YouTube, the Australian police would like to have a word with you . . . and I'd like to shake your hand, because after all that was the biggest toughest mouse I ever sawed. This appears to be the video in question, if you're into seeing Kanga getting knocked the fucked out.

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I think this is poetic justice. You know those hidden camera prank shows on TV? Well okay maybe I can only think of one right now, Just For Laughs: Gags (what is it about Francos and those shitty scare gags anyway?), but no matter, seems that some guy on an eastern European version of one of these show walks up to his car only to find some guy vandalizing it with paint and it ends exactly how I think these things should end. You can check it out here to see for yourself.

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Remember kids, don't fuck with a man's car and don't make fun of it either.

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All right I think it's go time, but I will leave with this - I think I want to marry this girl . . . or at least call her up and try to sell her something.

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That's her for now - later gators.

Well Shiver Me Timbers

Today be talk like a pirate day ye scurvy dogs - and if'n ye don't wants to be keel hauled or made to walk the plank ye'll follow suit, savvy?

Let's Get Ready to Ruuuuuuuuuummmmbbbblllllleeeeee!

Good news everybody - according to this website I could take 26 five year olds in a fight (how many could you take?), yeah you read that right, 26 of the little snot nosed buggers. With school starting up here in town next week maybe I'll go and take a kindergarten class on. You know to make me feel good about myself and feel like a big man. Oh and you know I'd totally use one as club - after all they're too short to be polearms and aren't aerodynamic enough to be missile weapons.

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I'm sure some of my success in battling said 26 (that's one for every letter of the alphabet - think how awesome it would be if I could get 26 kids each with a name starting with a different letter of the alphabet to fight, I think it would add a nice Sesame Street like quality to the event, and then to top it off the Count could count up the pile of battered kids) is due to the information I got from reading this quality article explaining how to win a fight against 20 children. Those last six, it's all me baby.

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I know you're impressed, aren't you?

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Maybe my kindergarten battle royal could be the main event to round out an evening of sweet Daycare Thunderdome action. Oh yeah Daycare Thunderdome is real, just check out this article on the topic where police say that a Dad gave kids weapons and encouraged them to fight each other for his amusement. I'm pretty sure I'd watch, at least for a little while anyway. Don't judge you would too, I'll just admit it.

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I wonder who the Patron Saint of Fighting Kids is? I don't readily see it on this list, but it seems that there's no shortage of Patron Saints for Children and looks like Saint Sebastian is the Patron Saint of Athletes, so perhaps it would be some sort of amalgam or Voltron of Saints who would protect the toddling gladiators as they punch, kick, scratch and smash their way into our hearts.

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While we're discussing Patron Saints, how about Cracked's list of the 8 most bizarre Patron Saints. Amazing eh? And if you look at the list I posted up above there you'll see that there's a Patron Saint for everything and everyone. So if you happen to be Christian or flexible in faith there'll always be someone to look over your shoulder or who's medallion you can wear for a little extra added protection.

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I'm plucking content from Cracked again, but here's a nice collection of 25 historic events as depicted by five year olds. There's some really funny stuff there . . . and I could take each one of the kids who "did" those pictures plus one more. I should totally add that to my resume, I'm that would impress some people.

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Well that's it for today - gotta get in training for my winner takes all battle against a local kindergarten class next week . . . maybe I could make it a charity event. Until next time.

Great News Everyone

According to this none other than Sarah Silverman is once again single; perhaps Jimmy Kimmel's loss could be my gain? I know it's early but Sarah if you're out there and interested in big bald hairy guys drop a line.

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Since we're talking about Sarah Silverman, seems that she's going to be on the new Match Game that will air on TBS along with Norm MacDonald, Super Dave Osborne and Scott Thompson (no doubt playing Charles Nelson Reilly for a new millennium). I have to wonder if it will be as good as the original, as I can't see the networks letting anyone get away with the on air drinking and smoking that the original (well worth watching on GSN just to see Betty White making dirty jokes) was full of. The show had a good format and the panel of B-List celebs were usually pretty good, Brett Somers bashing on CNR for being gay and getting loopy, CNR smoking his pipe while wearing ascot and Richard Dawson hitting on every female contestant to grace the stage.

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And you CNR is the shit when he's the subject of a Dead Milkmen song. Makes me want to have my own hilltop Nelson Reilly orgy with fifteen girls. Good times.

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You can read more about it here if you're interested.

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That's enough classic game show talk for now, how about something that'll maybe appeal to the freegans (just another breed of dirty hippy) out there, The Best Before Challenge. Check out the article by a Brit who over a two week stretch ate food increasingly past its best before date to prove the fact that we throw out too much good food or maybe it was just to piss off his wife. Nothing bad happened to the writer and the humour in the article is mint. Check out it, and don't just throw out that milk because it's on the sell by date, at least see if it's good first.

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Since I brought up the soap dodgers again, maybe you'll be interested in this article about a set of Scottish vegan parents who brought their daughter up on a strict vegan diet and who at the age of 12 had to be admitted to hospital bone condition which has left her with the spine of an 80-year-old woman. I know now even as I type this there are people who will bombard me with information that it is possible to raise a healthy kid as vegetarian or vegan and that's probably right . . . I mean there are people all over the world who don't eat meat, although I'm sure for many it's a lifestyle that is forced on them by circumstance and not choice.

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And being Scottish vegans I wonder if deep fried Mars bars are still okay to eat? I guess it would depend on whether it's friend in vegetable oil or animal oil . . . and whether or not there's really milk in the milk chocolate.

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Unfortunately the article doesn't mention what happened to the 80 year old lady that they took the spine out of. Ba-dump-bump!

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Maybe having a Mars bar based diet isn't so bad, check out this article (complete with what is quite possibly the most unappealing photo of a dude eating a chocolate bar (that's right chocolate bar, not candy bar) ever) about a guy who claims to have lived on them for the past 17 years. I wonder if he eats them all raw or has any deep fried?

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I'm sure you've no doubt noticed I link to Wikipedia a lot here, and why not it's quick and easy and even if it's not the most accurate, it's close enough for rock and roll, or at least this shadowy corner of the interweb. But there are many other 'Pedias out there on the net, and here's Wired's compilation of the 8 best non-Wiki Pedias, like Dickipedia, which states:

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"Gerald 'Geraldo' Rivera is a TV journalist, noted egotist, former talk-show host, and a dick."

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And check out their Dr. Phil article . . . now he's truly and honestly a dick. I wonder if I can make a page there for myself?

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The Uncyclopedia also gets a mention, a hugely amusing website which regular readers may remember from some post on here . . . or if I didn't post it before I meant to. Check out the entries for Toronto and Canadian Inventions.

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That's it for today - and remember as a wise friend of mine said "Best before doesn't mean bad after."

¿Quién es?

Well if you didn't already know, today is the 127th anniversary of the infamous William H. Bonny aka Henry Antrim, aka Henry McCarty aka Billy the Kid being shot to death in a dark room by none other than Sheriff Pat Garrett . . . or was he? Guess it depends on what source of information you believe. No matter, I'm sure he's dead now. In case you want to learn something about this, but you don't want to read anything on Billy or the Lincoln County Cattle War you can always watch the films Young Guns and its sequel and get a Hollywoodized version of it - and really isn't that all you need?

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Ever wonder if you're that guy? Well wonder no longer, just go complete this easy 56 question quiz and find out. Personally I think that the quiz is missing a couple of key questions, like do you have or have you ever had a faux hawk and do you pop your collar. I am firm believer that if you are guilty of either these two offenses it's automatic D-bag status for you. There are even guys like this down at my local boozer (WTF there's a review for the Tavern on a Japanese TripAdvisor site?) and that's a sad sad thing . . . well it is to me . . . I'm sure they think quite differently in between conversations about gel and how much they can bench and what sweet mods they're going to do when they finally by that Type R (instead of just slapping the sticker they stuck on the POS they're currently driving) or Acura.

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According to the quiz my "That Guy" temperature is warm. It's not my fault, there's a couple questions in there to trip me up . . . I mean what self respecting geek doesn't think this is hot? Actually this is hotter (just ask the guy on her left) . . . but no matter . . . so how do you rank? Sorry ladies, you'll have to look on your won to see if there's an "Are you that bird" quiz for you to complete.

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So last night I was lucky enough to watch some of The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, a rather good documentary about die hard classic video gamers and one man's efforts to topple the cult built around then Donkey Kong record holder by breaking a record that was set in 1984 or 1982 or something like that. It's a must watch, and I will be looking to watch the whole thing that's fo' sho'.

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One of the fine people from the film was Roy Shildt, former World Record Holder for Missile Command, aka Mr. Awesome. And trust me he earned that name, see for yourself.

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No matter if you're a video game wizard and think you can beat a record set up the video camera and get yourself playing and send the tape(s) into the good folks over at Twin Galaxies for authentication so that you may one day grace the hallowed halls of video game supremacy like Mr. Awesome (could that really be me?), Steve Wiebe or Billy Mitchell (isn't that sweet hair?).

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Since we're talking video games, how about some photos from some video game influenced weddings, yep you read that right video game influenced weddings . . . although most of the pics seem to be of cakes.

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That's all for now folks - but I will sign off with this beauty, a Thai prison recreation of Michael Jackson's Thriller video . . . complete with cowering afraid of the monsters lady . . . well lady-boy, but what do you expect it's a Thai prison. I know it's no Gorbachev, but it's pretty awesome and I have to say I prefer it to the original.

Hogan Knows Best?

A friend of mine emailed me these rather disturbing photos of the Hulkster himself applying sunscreen (well we assume sunscreen) to his daughter Brooke's backside and awfully close to her nether regions. I don't have kids of any shape or size, but something seems a little wrong about that . . . but maybe I just don't get it.

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Since we're sorta talking about wrasslin', have you seen the crying wrestling fan yet? Watch that video it's great, I mean who doesn't want to see a grown man break down during a Q&A session with some pro-wrestling celebs? And in case that short video clip wasn't enough, why not check out the article that the crying wrestling fan wrote about the experience/event or his website.

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And to give credit where credit is due the same guy who sent the Hogan pics also was the first to inform me of the wonders that is the CWF.

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And finally how about some great medical research news - turns out that masturbation may help prevent prostate cancer. Well according to this article it does anyway. So that's great news not only can you wank for peace (check out their propaganda posters, they're great), but for your health as well. That is of course if doesn't make you go blind, insane or give you hairy palms first.

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And since I care so much about your prostate health, here's a deposit for your spank bank, you'll probably have the best return on this investment if you're a geek fanboy, a nice slide show collection of the babes of the NYC Comic-Con.

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All I can say is Giggity.

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Man I swear some day I am going to go to the San Diego Comic-Con. And it will rule. I'd also like to rock out at the Wacken Open Air Festival . . . now that would be an experience of a lifetime. And honestly Rocklahoma would be a good time too . . . but in a riding a moped kinda way, if you know what I mean.

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While we're talking rock, it looks like Lars Ulrich and I finally have something in common, apparently we both want Metallica to release their latest record sooner than later. I wonder if we're both hoping that it's a lot better than their last record too?

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Oh yeah, on more thing - remember, hugs and kisses should make you wanna dance, but they shouldn't be anywhere near your pants.

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PS - it's still real to me, dammit!