And we're back . . .

Okay, having been to Oz I know just how good a good pie can be, I can totally relate to this.

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I mean if you had just purchased a pie I'm sure you'd ask the fuzz if you could pick it up to finish it if you were in the same situation. I know personally the best pie I've ever had was at about 7 AM in Byron Bay on our way down to the beach to check out the lighthouse (okay look at from a distance) and most easterly point in all of the Land Down Undah.

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If you're looking for some good pies on this side of the Pacific or just a fan of pies in general do check out Mr. D's Tart-n-Pie in Winnipeg. Speaking from experience they do a great pie and apparently work with chefs in Oz to get the most authentic pie going. I wouldn't be surprised if I pick up a bunch when I'm in the city next.

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And while we're in the area, let's stop in and check out these Kiwi rugby fans who advertised for a large chested woman or midget to fetch beers during rugby and are most likely the kinds of blokes we'd all like to hang out with. You'll have to read the article yourself to find out who they hired for the gig, but really with applicants like that, how can you go wrong?

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How cool is this little gadget? I have no idea how well it would or wouldn't work, but it looks cool don't it?

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And while we're on the topic of cool, here's something that I think the Willow of the Wood might like. Personally I like the space monkey one, but that's barely a surprise is it?

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Oh yeah, one last question, are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?

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Well I think that's her for now, until next time, stay classy San Diego.

Can't Stop the Red Red Croovy

Did you know that Heinz has been selling their ketchup (remember how revolutionary the squeeze bottle was when it came out?) in Canada for 100 years now? Well according to them they have (I can only vouch for the last 30 or so years personally) and to celebrate and to thank Cannucks for slathering this oh so popular condiment on nearly everything imaginable they cooked up this recipe for ketchup cake (trust me the recipe's there, scroll down a bit).

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If you make it let me know how it is. Or better yet bring over a piece to share with me. After all if it weren't for me you wouldn't have cooked up the ketchup cake to begin with, now would you?

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Ever wonder how cops should celebrate national police week (yeah apparently there is such a thing, I'm waiting for national big fat geek day . . . oh wait I think there is something like that but we've get a four day weekend with more boner inspiring costumery)? I used to wonder that too and then I read this article and now I know, it's by doing all the things that they were arresting people for the rest of the year. It's like Bizarro World, only less fun because it's real . . . and I doubt that the criminals go around arresting ne'er do wells during that time.

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And finally I'd like congratulate Winnipeg on holding its title of largest Slurpee consuming market ten year's running . . . and hey you can actually put that on a sign as you enter the city unlike when you were the murder capitol of Canada.

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Until next time.

An Idea for a Snowy Day

Actually this might work out here as we've got a little bit of snow yesterday and last night and I believe there's more on the way, any way the crafters of this art made them by pressing their faces into fresh snow on cars to create a 3-D sculpture look. Pretty cool eh? Well cool as long as they don't use my car the no good punks.

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Christmas might be over and done with for another year (which means in a week and a half chocolate hearts and Cupid cards will be hitting the shelves followed by marshmallow peeps and Cadbury's Easter Creme Eggs on February 15) but that doesn't mean we can have a look back at the wonders that was the 1985 Wishbook, back when the Christmas catalog was chock full of wonderful toys, not like how it is today all video games. It's crap I tells yah.

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I know I've spent more than a few lines of this blog hammering on how much I'm looking forward to the March 6, 2009 release of The Watchmen film, but this article about the ongoing legal battle over distribution rights and a recent court ruling might put that release in jeopardy. The movie will get released, I have no doubt about that it just might take time as the two studios fight over payments and rights and royalties. And then it will be leaked to the interwebs before it's theatrical release and all will be appeased.

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Legal proceedings be damned, how about watching a new video with some new clips from the film along with some nice interview voice over action with the movie's Director Max Snyder. How hard did you geek out while watching that? I bet you had to hit your inhaler pretty hard, didn't you?

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I had no idea, but apparently there are real regular people kicking around out there in full costumed regalia fighting crime. You can read about these wanna be Batman here and here if you're inclined to. I guess now we know who watches the Watchmen. I wonder if they're taking applications for costumed evil super villain arch nemesisses (or is that nemesi?)?

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And a dash of history - did you know that today is the 70th anniversary of Adolf Hitler being honoured as Time magazine's Man of the Year? I suppose anyone could be fooled by a charismatic madman with a Charlie Chaplin 'stache in the beginning.

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Well today I'll sign off with one for the Willow that might convince her to give up vegetarian ways - seems that her beloved ancestral home of Iceland is not only rerouting motorways in efforts to not disturb the homes of their own special breed of fair folks but it's also crazy for hotdogs. I'd have to admit that after a night of binge drinking and 4 wheeling with Bjork a hotdog and a dip in a hot spring would be pretty nice.

If My Head Were Made of Veal . . .

. . . what would it be worth?

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Good news for those of you who got the reference there, according to this article The Kids in the Hall are coming back to the CBC and you know the article has to be accurate because it's being reported by the CBC. Granted from reading the article it doesn't sound like it's going to be the same sketch-com show they used to have, but I'm sure I'll still watch it . . . or at least want to watch it.

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Now the big question is, will they use another Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet song for the show's theme tune?

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After reading this article about a small town Saskatchewan woman who's death went unnoticed for 15 months I realised that there are many levels of hermitism to aspire to. Maybe some day you beloved reader can be that hermitty too. Gotta wonder how her utilities were being paid that whole time though.

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Scary stuff that, so much for the close knittedness of the small town lifestyle eh? But let's balance out the scary with some funny, or better than some funny how about a nice video clip putting together the funniest movie moments from 1997 - 2007? Yeah I thought you'd like that, there are some definite winners in there, some truly epic funny fo' sho'.

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Well that's her for now - but maybe you can help me out. I want to make some ribs, I want them ready when I get home from saving the world, aka work, so if anyone has a good slow cooker rib recipe they can recommend lemme have it.

And in the beginning . . .

I haven't read it, but The Clash have released a book, all written in their own words, detailing how the band started out and how they got together simply title The Clash. You can read a bit about the book and some passages from the book here. I'd like to give this one a read, so if you do get this book lemme borrow it when you're done with it, would you?

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Thanks.

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Wanna see something cool? Of course, we all do. Well how about a mummified 12 year old McDonald's hamburger that looks as appealing (or appalling, depending on the person) on the day it was hatched under Ronald McDonald's vengeful gaze. When have to wonder how this burger can do so well and last so long in the wild, when they stay inside me for such very short periods of time? One of the mysteries of modern science I suppose.

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While we're talking fast food, how's about a side by side comparison of the food from the ads compared to the stuff you get in the restaurant. We all know from personal experience that things just don't match up from the ads and in real life, but it is interesting to actually see it right in front of your eyes like that. I mean it's not often I'm lucky enough to be jamming an A&W Uncle Burger down my pie hole while watching the TV ad for it.

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BTW - I found the Uncle Burger a little disappointing, it was missing something taste wise, but that's just my opinion. Great name for a sandwich though and the mascot has a sweet little 'stache. Almost expect that the Uncle in the burger family is still single and shows up to family BBQ's in a gold TA, pinches Mama's bottom, drinks all Papa's beer, makes the kids more than a little uncomfortable and don't even get me started on how Grandpa feels about it all.

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Or maybe I'm just projecting.

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And now for something completely different; ever shop at American Apparel? Yeah me either, seems that most of the clothing buys lately are coming from Mark's Work Wearhouse, but I have to say that American Apparel's ads are pretty interesting, someone has compiled 30 of their favourite, which happen to be their porniest, here. I'm sure their catalog's are a big hit with the barely pubescent boy set, that shit's way better than Nat-Geo ever was.

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Seems that there's a bit of a kerfuffle over nurses in the UK and after reading this article I'm not sure what that problem is. Some Lord has a bad experience, in his opinion, with his nurses while in hospital and then has this to say:

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"The nurses who looked after me were mostly grubby - we are talking about dirty fingernails and hair - and were slipshod and lazy. Worst of all, they were drunken and promiscuous".

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I don't know about you, but these girls sound like they're a pretty good time.

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MMMMMMMMMMMMM dirty nurses.

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From fast and loose to fast and loose, check out this cool race between a motorcycle, a Porsche and a fighter jet. You might be surprised at how this one shapes up.

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Well that's her for now - but did you know that if you do a Google Image Search for Dirty Nurses with your safety filter off the first pic to come up links back to a page on here? That and the Drew Barrymore flashing Dave Letterman on his show account for a whole lot of my traffic.

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Don't forget, Jesus Loves You, big time.

You're Givin' Me a Heart Attack-ack-ack

The fine Arizona eatery know as the Heart Attack Grill was brought to my attention via an email from a friend who provided this collection of lovely photos, you can some different on their website here if that tickles your fancy.

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And they've got a fine looking menu there and I have to admit I do like the waitresses uniforms, but that probably doesn't come as a big surprise. After all I'm sure when they designed the whole concept of this place they were trying to lure in guys like me.

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No matter, enjoy the photos and if you ever go to this place lemme know how it really is. But remember they've been mandated by the Government to let you know that none of their "Nurses" have any medical training.

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The Nanny State is the greatest state I suppose?

This Might Prove There is a God

Then again it might not, but certainly is proof that somebody loves us dearly. Seems that the good folks who brought us bacon salt, because sometimes you can't add bacon to make everything taste like bacon and like the product tag line says everything should taste like bacon, J & D have unleashed their newest culinary sensation on the world, Baconnaise. Which is just like it sounds, bacon flavoured mayo.

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Imagine that bacon sammich, bacon, lashings of brown sauce, baconnaise and a few shakes of bacon salt. Don't forget a slice of tomato in there somewhere too. Sounds glorious don't it?

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In case you aren't into shopping online or can't find bacon salt and baconaise in your local stores why not try the recipe included with this blog post and make your own bacon mayonnaise? If you don't like that one there's another at the end of the second page of this interview. If you do whip some up let me know how it turns out and maybe share a sample or two.

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I'm sure you'll be looking for something to wash it all down with, so why not try some bacon bourbon because we already know what a big hit bacon vodka is. Now every civilized person is going to be looking for some afters, so why not hit for the bacon cycle and have yourself some bacon ice cream for dessert?

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All I can say is it sounds heart-attack-aliscious.

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If you found my bacon themed lunch appealing perhaps you'd also be interested in checking out the Retrosexual Man's Code. Although I honestly think that the last line of that code should be something along the lines of:

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"A Retrosexual Man never reads lists of things defining his retrosexuality."

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I just think that'd be a nice kick in the junk, after all you can learn about being an old school manly man who shaves without foam, owns one belt, one pair of shoes, holds doors open and offers to help ladies and old folks with boxes from a list on the internet. But what do I know of such things?

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In case you are man and a manly man at that and are okay with book learnin' and readin' you may want to check out Esquire's list of the 75 books every man should read. I've only read three books off the list myself.

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No matter . . . hey maybe you're bored, maybe you're a bit of a voyeur, maybe it's a bit of both. Well worry no more, because here on this one single web page someone has compiled the 25 best webcams of 2007. Okay sure I know it's almost 2009, but hey it's there, so either go watch 'em or don't.

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If you're looking for a webcam closer to home, or at least closer to my home, check out the webcam feed of the construction of the new hospital being built in my lovely little town.

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Hey I like cars, you like cars, I live in the environment, you live in the environment. This should be of interest to us all - so check out this article about the new Mercedes Benz hybrid that gets a whopping 30 miles per gallon and it will only cost you $100,000. Now here's me, but I'm jaded and cynical thinking, 30 miles per gallon? That better be in stop and go city traffic because if it's not then it's basically Mercedes saying "Fuck you environment and car buying public, we're just in this for the marketing tag line here and hope people don't think too hard about what we're actually selling them."

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I say this because my Camaro, with all its 8 pushrod controlled cylinders and 350 (okay 346) cubic inches (that's 5.7 litres in case you don't know ci) and automatic transmission gets 30 miles per gallon on the highway. If you can't do better than that with a hybrid system you'd best be heading back to the design board to try again.

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Until next time, Boom Goes the Dynamite.

Back At It

Yep we're back at it again after what a break of three weeks or so?

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Where have I been you wonder? What have I been doing? Well we're glad you asked, the start to the break in the blogging was because I spent four days in lovely Niagara Falls at the Fallsview Sheraton, for work of all things. So that takes care of part of it . . . but before we go on, I want to know, why is it that the more I pay for a hotel room, the worse I get treated?

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I mean if I stay at a place for $90 a night I get free internet in my room and breakfast the next day. Spend over $200 a night and internet costs me $15.00 a day and breakfast is a $25? I don't get it, either that or the service industry doesn't. No matter it didn't cost me and I had a sweet view of the falls from the 30th floor of the hotel . . . I almost needed an oxygen mask for the elevator ride to my room.

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So anyway back to why I wasn't here . . . the day travelling back to town after the Niagara Falls trip was also spent driving, well riding shotgun, to Winnipeg for a couple nights at the Place Louis Riel (I wonder how many other countries have places, hotels or holidays (albeit a provincial one) for a man hanged for high treason? Well I guess the UK does have bonfire night for good old Guy Fawkes and his merry band of Catholic Conspirators (or political fallguys or patsies)) to geek it up flatlander style at the Manitoba Comicon and eat Indian food.

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The con was great fun, over 16, 000 people went through over the two days and I scored some cool new toys, some new graphic novels, got Lou Ferrigno's autograph (who's still a big man, I could barely get my hand around his to shake it), got to meet a new and great artist Laurie B. (I'm sure once you see her art you'll know why I was so enthralled with her work and couldn't decide what to buy from her, but settled on a sketch book, that way I got it all). Big ups to her for putting up with me coming back to her table several times flipping threw her art . . . but given her line of work and the target audience I'm sure she's used to it. If not she put on a great front and sometimes I can handle being lied to.

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We also got to chat with a TV Superboy for a bit, watched Helen Slater (the movie Supergirl) from a safe distance, and trust me she's still looking good, saw Erica Durance (who surprisingly has no bum at all, don't get me wrong, she's good looking, but then she turned around and pow, there's back, there's legs, there's no ass . . . I don't know how she poops).

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We also saw a rather scary looking tranny Supergirl (who was Batgirl or should I say Bat Ladyboy the next day) but that's okay . . . that was more than balanced with all the giggity from the girls, although many of them were jailbait, I'll admit it, prancing about in their comic book costumery. Needless to say it filled my mind with superhero powered sin.

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If you're into Indian food and in Winnipeg check that place out, I eat there regularly when I'm in the city, and I think it's good . . . and who's a better judge of quality Indian food than a big white guy from a small town that grew up thinking there were only four kinds of cheese in the whole world (cheddar, mozza, cheez whiz and cheese slices) and grew up in a house where black pepper was considered a blazing hot spice? Hey answer me that.

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And you're in luck, it looks like you can order spices through the restaurant website if you're interested - I can't promise that the same spices will make the food at home just as good, but it's a start eh?

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We also spent a rather amusing evening at the East Kildonian Legion . . . Legions are Legions it seems but this one had the first $2.50 drinks I've had in a long time, and for that and a few of the regular patrons it will hold a special place in my heart for a while.

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So that explains away one week and a long weekend, then I was in Kasabonika for work . . .and the weather was miserable, cold wet rainy snow, low ceiling, just miserable . . . but I made it out when I was supposed and no one got hurt.

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Then there was a couple days in Kingfisher Lake this week, throw in a couple busy weekends and pow she's all gone and here we are. but now let's get down to bidnizz bitches . . .

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I think I owe you all a little public service announcement here and sorry for the short notice, but if you were ever a fan of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video, on Oct 25th you will have the chance to dance the same routine simultaneously with others worldwide. You can read about it here, but it's taking place tomorrow so you'd better read fast and call into work sick so you can spend the day getting your zombie dance choreography down.

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Why this might even be better than the Thai Prison Thriller Dance . . . but that's going to be hard to top, doncha think?

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In entertainment news, according to this there's a Muppet movie for adults in the works . . . this leaves me wondering if that means we'll have to see Miss Piggy being DP'd on the big screen? No matter I'm sure I'll go see it either way, after all you cannot go wrong with the Muppets. I just wish that someone was rerunning the Muppet Show . . . but maybe it will come, after all Teletoon Retro is rerunning Fraggle Rock at the moment.

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If you're ever after a good laugh on the job site, pull the netting/straps out of your hardhat, put it back on your head and proclaim yourself a Doozer. Trust me it's a hoot.

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Well that's all we have time for today, but I will leave you with this lovely cross over of geekery and giggity, check out this picture from the new Star Trek film and I'm sure you'll be pleased to see the that the Original Series uniforms are back baby yeah. There are some words to go along with the picture here, but you don't care about that do you?

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Anyway, I'm outtie.

Would you eat a 6 month old chocolate bar?

No? Well what if I dare you? Double dare? Triple Dog Dare you?

Well too late too late. According to this article in the National Post looks like you just may have. Obviously these months old chocolate bars are fine, you've likely been eating them your whole life without knowing any better. But damn isn't it scary seeing it in print like that? Me if I were you, and I'm not praise Jebus, I wouldn't worry about eating the 1/2 year old confectionery treat, but be wondering how much better a fresh one would taste.
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And WTF isn't the national post a Canadian paper? Why are they referring to them as candy bars? Does anyone in Canada do that? Or is it just a Northwestern Ontario thing to call them chocolate bars?
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Fuck I'm going to eat some Old Dutch chips because those of you unlucky enough to suffer through living in TO don't have that option. And I'll wash them down with some pop - not soda.

Or maybe a beer . . . speaking of, check out this lovely little list from Cracked which points out the nine things that (you think) your beer says about you. Pass me a PBR will you.

Enough snacking, how about something amazing? Check out this amazing photo taken from the top of the Burj Dubai skyscraper. When this photo was taken it was 688 metres (over 2257 feet) tall (Empire State Building is a measly 381 metres (1250 feet) without the antenna and the CN Tower is 553 metres (1815 feet) tall). When all is said and done this building is supposed to be 853 metres (almost 2800 feet) tall . . . that's better than a half mile tall.

As of September 28 it was 713.7 meters (over 2340 feet) tall and here are some more photos. Pretty amazing eh? I'll let you make your own joke about this being why gas is over $6.00 a gallon . . . me I'm too busy trying to imagine what the foundation under that big bastard is like.

I think we're about out of time here so I'll leave you with a nifty little personality quiz, it rolls through a bunch of different categories you select the picture of the thing you like the best or best represents what you're about and then it tells you're a bed wetter with an Oedipus complex. Not that the plastic sheets and all those pictures of you and your mum don't give that away.

Apparently I'm a mood sofisticat, when it comes to fun I'm a conqueror, habit wise I'm a new wave puritan and a social nostalgic. How do you stack up?

And oh yeah if you don't like the answers you get you can always try again picking different favourites. Cheater.

Later gators.

Heil Knitler!

Nope that wasn't a typo - there's an enterprising English woman who has developed knitting patterns of some of history's worst baddies in case the one thing missing in your life is a cuddle with a soft plush Pol Pot, Idi Amin or der Fuhrer himself, among a few others. You can read a bit about the women/her business here if you're so inclined.

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In case you're a bit of a geek as well you may be interested to know, or more likely already know, it's Nazi week on the History channel. Check it out yo, so far it's been pretty good even if I've seen most of the shows already. So far I haven't seen any coverage of Hitler's questionable relationship with his neice, but maybe they're saving the racy stuff for Friday night.

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Now it's time for the rock. We all now know that Metallica is releasing a new album, Death Magnetic, and here's the album cover art (it's either a coffin shaped hole with magnetic field lines around it or a stylised hairy vagina drawn by someone with limited exposure to the va-jay-jay) if you're interested. Not bad not great, and definitely not Master of Puppets. Let's all hope the music is way way way more awesome than the cover.

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Metallica have also released a track list for the album. I don't know why they had to write another sequel to The Unforgiven . . . after all sequels are never as good as the original.

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While we're on a Metallica kick, how about Metallica covering Maiden's Remember Tomorrow from the album Maiden Heaven: A Tribute to Iron Maiden. It's pretty good, but I think I prefer the original in this case, but this isn't one of my favourite Maiden songs, or close to it. I do think that I will look for this record, I am a big fan of cover songs and Maiden, so how can you go wrong?

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Well I'm short on time so I'm outta here, but I will leave you with this gem, just in case you're hankering for a chocolate cake but can only spare five minutes to make it. No need to thank me now, but if you must I am partial to apple pie.

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Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm pie.

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And don't forget if you're in the Toronto area (which you may be surprised to read isn't all of Canada) you should go see Zerg play at the Bovine tomorrow night. It will rock your socks clean off.

Great News Everyone

According to this none other than Sarah Silverman is once again single; perhaps Jimmy Kimmel's loss could be my gain? I know it's early but Sarah if you're out there and interested in big bald hairy guys drop a line.

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Since we're talking about Sarah Silverman, seems that she's going to be on the new Match Game that will air on TBS along with Norm MacDonald, Super Dave Osborne and Scott Thompson (no doubt playing Charles Nelson Reilly for a new millennium). I have to wonder if it will be as good as the original, as I can't see the networks letting anyone get away with the on air drinking and smoking that the original (well worth watching on GSN just to see Betty White making dirty jokes) was full of. The show had a good format and the panel of B-List celebs were usually pretty good, Brett Somers bashing on CNR for being gay and getting loopy, CNR smoking his pipe while wearing ascot and Richard Dawson hitting on every female contestant to grace the stage.

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And you CNR is the shit when he's the subject of a Dead Milkmen song. Makes me want to have my own hilltop Nelson Reilly orgy with fifteen girls. Good times.

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You can read more about it here if you're interested.

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That's enough classic game show talk for now, how about something that'll maybe appeal to the freegans (just another breed of dirty hippy) out there, The Best Before Challenge. Check out the article by a Brit who over a two week stretch ate food increasingly past its best before date to prove the fact that we throw out too much good food or maybe it was just to piss off his wife. Nothing bad happened to the writer and the humour in the article is mint. Check out it, and don't just throw out that milk because it's on the sell by date, at least see if it's good first.

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Since I brought up the soap dodgers again, maybe you'll be interested in this article about a set of Scottish vegan parents who brought their daughter up on a strict vegan diet and who at the age of 12 had to be admitted to hospital bone condition which has left her with the spine of an 80-year-old woman. I know now even as I type this there are people who will bombard me with information that it is possible to raise a healthy kid as vegetarian or vegan and that's probably right . . . I mean there are people all over the world who don't eat meat, although I'm sure for many it's a lifestyle that is forced on them by circumstance and not choice.

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And being Scottish vegans I wonder if deep fried Mars bars are still okay to eat? I guess it would depend on whether it's friend in vegetable oil or animal oil . . . and whether or not there's really milk in the milk chocolate.

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Unfortunately the article doesn't mention what happened to the 80 year old lady that they took the spine out of. Ba-dump-bump!

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Maybe having a Mars bar based diet isn't so bad, check out this article (complete with what is quite possibly the most unappealing photo of a dude eating a chocolate bar (that's right chocolate bar, not candy bar) ever) about a guy who claims to have lived on them for the past 17 years. I wonder if he eats them all raw or has any deep fried?

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I'm sure you've no doubt noticed I link to Wikipedia a lot here, and why not it's quick and easy and even if it's not the most accurate, it's close enough for rock and roll, or at least this shadowy corner of the interweb. But there are many other 'Pedias out there on the net, and here's Wired's compilation of the 8 best non-Wiki Pedias, like Dickipedia, which states:

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"Gerald 'Geraldo' Rivera is a TV journalist, noted egotist, former talk-show host, and a dick."

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And check out their Dr. Phil article . . . now he's truly and honestly a dick. I wonder if I can make a page there for myself?

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The Uncyclopedia also gets a mention, a hugely amusing website which regular readers may remember from some post on here . . . or if I didn't post it before I meant to. Check out the entries for Toronto and Canadian Inventions.

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That's it for today - and remember as a wise friend of mine said "Best before doesn't mean bad after."