Sometimes eHarmony doesn't work out . . .

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. . . and sometimes it does.

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Looking for a moderately amusing way to burn a couple minutes?

Sure of course you are, or you wouldn't be here now would you. Not that I'm judging or anything, I mean if you didn't visit I'd just be another on-line equivalent of the crazy old guy muttering to himself in the produce aisle about how everything sucks now.

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Anyway if you want to have yourself a small chuckle, or perhaps sobering realization, go to Google and in the search box type your name followed by needs and hit search. In case that was confusing let's say your name is Marco (Polo), so you'd go to Google and in the search box you'd enter "Marco Needs" and have yourself a little laugh at the outcome . . . either that or curled up in a ball in the corner rocking back and forth like an austic kid sobbing away because of how right the search was and how fucked up you really are.

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No matter, when I tried playing according to Google I need:

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• more sleep and less hangover
• a girlfriend
• to retire
• a roller derby name
• spanx
• to get lucky
• more than luck (think this and the last are somehow related?)
• no drawbar
• a band
• a new hair style
• work and
• readers

Told it was good for a guffaw, and surely some of you think that list is right on a few spots - but hey you're entitled to your opinion just like the Googles are. So what did Google tell you that you need?

Well that's her for now, until next time.

A Big Day in History

Well contemporary pop culture history really . . . but if you weren't aware of it, it really is, not only did AC/DC front man Bon Scott choke to death in a friend's car on his own vomit after a night of hard boozing 29 years ago today (I don't know about you but I'm not much of an AC/DC fan but I prefer the Bon Scott era AC/DC to the Brian Johnson era AC/DC . . . but this is coming from a guy who has zero AC/DC records in his collection so that has to say something too) but six years ago today in Rhode Island Great White burnt a club down and killed some fans (or people trying to get in out of the rain), 100 if you want to be exact, and their guitarist with their on stage pyrotechnics.

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But wait, there's more; four years ago today gonzo journalist/writer/drug fiend Hunter S. Thompson suicided in his Woody Creek, CO home with a shotgun.

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But enough of the history for now eh, ever wonder if Winnipeg really exists or if it's just something that Hollywood made up for a good laugh because the name sounds funny (hey stop laughing Dildo, Newfoundland)? Yeah me either because I've been there and I've seen it shine and shit and come close to see its downtown core go for a swim in the Red River, which sounds about as appealing as eating the cereal that shares its name. No matter, here's a sweet collection of clips of Winnipeg being name dropped into bunch of TV shows and movies . . . most logical explanation is there are a lot of people from that part of Canada doing a whole lot of writing for TV & movies . . . or everyone has a nice giggle when they see the name on a map of Canada.

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And don't forget to check out the website they're flogging at the end of the video, which is a recruiting site for getting people to move to Winnipeg . . . I didn't poke around there for long but I didn't see any mention of rampant car thievery or the fact that it's no longer the per capita murder capitol of Canada . . . hey that's something, isn't it?

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I got nothing else - until next time.

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And remember, it's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n' roll.

Crash & Burn

Good morning all, here are some pics that were emailed to me of the train derailment that happened out at Allanwater about 30 miles from my loverly little town.

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Thought they might be of interest.

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The New Definition of Awesome

Ch ch ch ch ah ah ah ah

Well well well looks like today is Friday the 13th . . . . oooooh scary. But do you know why it's bad juju? Yeah neither does anyone else really, but there's lots of reasons why it could be, don't believe me, Google it or check out the Wikipedia article on it.

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No matter, it's Friday the 13th and a (sorta) new Friday the 13th film opens today . . . I don't know about you but I'm quite looking forward to this - I'm positive it won't be as good as Rob Zombie's remake/reboot of the Halloween franchise, but I'm in this far with the Friday the 13th films so I can't stop now.

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But you thought Friday the 13th was bad, wait until you experience Saturday the 14th! Actually Saturday the 14th isn't as scary this year, being St. Valentine's Day. Every wonder why you get and give loads of little cards and your sweetie gives you sweets on this day? Or just happy to get them? If you're interested in the history of it, the History Channel has loads of stuff up here.

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Quite possibly more important than Valentine's Day tomorrow, it's Louis Riel Day on Monday - only in Manitoba and parts of Saskatchewan, I believe, is the man a hero, he is the Father of Manitoba after all, and I think pretty much everywhere else in the Country he was/is just a crazy guy (literally) who lead a couple rebellions against the Federal Government . . . but you can thank him it was one of those rebellions that got the railroad pushed through to the West.

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You're welcome.

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And hey I've got a sweet Metis sash now, so I can truly represent my Franco-Toban roots. Don't forget Festival du Voyageur mes amis!

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I don't know about you, but I could really go for a piece of this right about now. Ah man that looks sooo-oh good.

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Did you ever wonder what happened to Andrew Dice Clay? Yeah neither did I, but then I saw this picture and I had to start to wonder . . . it's almost like he decided to become the stereotypical old Jewish guy in a bad movie . . . at least he's not wearing a velvet track suit there.

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I know I've been flogging the living shit out of the release of the Watchmen film, but here's a sweet Japanese trailer for the film and he folks we're less than a month away from the March 6th release date. Just to get your fix in, here's a link to 17 sweet B&W portraits from the film that are part of a book of, you guessed it, portraits from the film.

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Well that's her for now - later gators.

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PS - Death to all but metal

Been ignoring you . . . sorry

Well not really sorry but I have been ignoring my blogly duties as of late, but I've been busy doing actual stuff, which is a bit of a change.

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Anyway I thought I'd get back at with some hometown updates, seems that my lovely little town has managed to make national news again, this time for the local police tasing a 14 year old girl they had in custody, for allegedly picking the paint off a cell wall. The girl's family is now suing the OPP for $500, 000.00 for this, you can read more about it here if you're so inclined.

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Now I don't know what really happened there, but I'm positive it's somewhere between what each party is saying, that's just human nature, but I'm thinking to get tased in the first place you've got to be doing something a little more than picking at paint, but that's just me . . . and maybe I'm a more reasonable sort than most . . . but I doubt it.

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And just in case I would like to offer a special deal to law enforcement agencies out there, I will give a super special rate, 6 seconds of tasing for only $400, 000.00. What a steal . . . if I get an advance on the payment I'll even travel to you on my own dime. Think about it.

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In other local news you may remember a post from about a year ago about a year and a half ago Mr. Charles Hattie, who's name still to this day gets me traffic on this blog, being charged with sexual assault and attempted murder was found guilty of sexual assault but not attempted murder a couple weeks ago in a Kenora court. The Kenora paper's article on this conviction can be found here.

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Here's to hoping he gets a taste of his own medicine while incarcerated.

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In other local news, the local enhancement committee (who don't seem to have a website, or at least not one that Google can find for me) is pushing a new logo for the town. Personally I don't think that this is time for changing the logo, given the economic times we're in and spending money, even if it is from an enhancement grant that the Municipality received, on something like this looks bad.

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I think the costs of this change are much further reaching than what is expected as well, as this will mean scrapping every piece of currently branded municipal gear and changing every sign (including the lovely new street signs in the downtown that look just the lovely new street signs in Dryden's downtown purchased with the enhancement grant money), piece of letter head, business card . . . oh hell you see where this is going.

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Granted the current logo looks like it was done by a kid, and maybe it was, but I think if you want to do something get someone who knows what they're doing to rework and clean that up and make it look like something churned out professionally. Love it or hate the current logo shows what you see when you look west from the town beach and shows what built this town. To show the native history of the area you can take out the guy the Lund and put the native guy in the canoe back in . . . just try to make him look less like an Eskimo this time, please.

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The town has the response to the new logo on their website here - seems that from quickly skimming this that most of the people who responded in time were in favour of the new logo. Once again I think that I am learning about this stuff too late in the game to make a difference . . . and after all the town does what the town wants anyway. In case you think it's not too late to make your voice heard, you can find Council's email addresses here.

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The new logo is being presented to the Economic Development Commission at 4:45 this afternoon at the Community Development Office if you're interested in checking that out. I should really get more involved with stuff, but getting involved is work . . .

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Ah well that's her for now.

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PS - don't tase me bro!

I like the way this kid thinks

Don't you?

Been away for a while

But we're back baby yeah. Did you miss us? I'm sure you did, I know I'd miss me terribly if I weren't around me.

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Where have I been you ask? Well I say you're nosey and want to know if you're a cop or writing a book or something . . . but I guess I can share . . . not last week but the week before I went to spend a week at the Blau Coste Verde resort outside a little town in Cuba called Guardalavaca about an hour's coach ride from Holguin City. Good clean fun for the whole family, if your whole family likes to drink rum and smoke cigars . . . and if they do I might like meeting them. Hey don't get your hopes up I only said might.

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Last week I toughed out a three day week at work and spent the last two days painting this very room I'm sitting in, and just yesterday I learned that apparently I painted the room a shade of green. No matter what you call the colour it looks good.

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But hey I'm back now and I'm sure my irregular posting of irregular topics will get back on its erratic schedule . . . at least until the end of the month when I'm out of town for a week for work.

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Speaking of irregular topics - how about this one from the it could happen to anyone files; check out this article about a security in the UK who was found dead from an autoerotic asphyxiation accident in the men's bathroom at his work wearing Wellington boots, a wetsuit and gas mask. See like I said it could happen to anyone.

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Now I'm afraid I have to hit you up with a little bit bad news if you're a fan of bad taste like I am and you must be since you keep visiting here; the fine online emporium of bad taste t-shirts known as T Shirt Hell is going out of business on Tuesday, Feb 10, 2009 . . . upside is everything is on sale and must go go go. For a message from the company's creator, Sunshine Megatron, go here. To view their final new shirts, plus 14 classics they are bringing back as a thank you to everyone (including some of the best of their old Worse Than Hell section), go here.

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I've been meaning to order a shirt from them for a long time now, and just haven't so maybe this is the kick in the ass that I need to go out and get it done and own my very own piece of history.

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A little more on the current events bit, anyone watch GSP totally dominate BJ Penn Saturday night? The UFC card this weekend was pretty good from start to finish and I'm looking forward to their next PPV.

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And how about that Superbowl? Big ups to the Steelers for winning it, it's what I expected but I was still pulling for the Cards and it was a game that was worth watching right up until the end, or at least I thought it was.

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And something a little closer to home, seems that Mr. Richard Brozinski, allegedly aka Richer Lapointe, has generated a whole lot of traffic here for me, so thanks for that. Anyone have any more news or information on this? I ask because I'm a little curious and this bloke opennova@sasktel.net left a comment here asking for some local information on Mr. Brozinski to help build a case against him in Winnipeg, all I know I've said but if you want to help out please do. You can go and read the comment for yourself if you're interested in getting the whole of it.

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Did you know that it was 30 years ago today that legendary Sex Pistols bass player Sid Viscious died in his sleep of a heroin overdose . . . this was all while waiting to stand trail for stabbing his girlfriend Nancy Spungen to death. Now that's punk rock.

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That's it for now - until next time.