Let's get ready get our geek on folks

As we're all aware Steampunk is wicked awesome and this steampunk Stormtrooper Helmet, Boba Fett and Princess Leia are fine examples of the genre. Now that's way cooler than these crochet Star Wars characters (but they are cool in their own right, just not as cool) don't you think?

.

If you're down with the steampunk you should check out China Mieville's novels Perdido Street Station, The Scar and Iron Council. Not only are the really good books by a good and imaginative author set in a very unique world, they have a great steampunk flavour going on in them.

.

I can't explain why, but I think steampunk is awesome. It probably appeals to me for the reason(s) as rat rods (how could you not want to drive one or two yourself - the car perv, but hey Rock-a-betty chicks aren't so bad either), Dickies and bowling shirts do.

.

Oh and a little more for the Star Wars fans out there - in case you needed any more proof that George Lucas hates you but loves your money (even if it needs to get funneled from your wallet to him through your kids) apparently he'd like to make a Jedi Babies series, because we all remember how awesome the Muppet Babies were.

.

Since I've knocked you down some, it's only fair that I build you back up with these awesome Star Wars pics. Almost makes up for that last link don't it?

.

Ever wonder what Stormtroopers do on their day off? Yeah me either, but here's the answers anyway. Pretty cool n'est pas? I think we're about even for the Jedi Babies thing, right?

.

And finally I will leave you with a little bit of time travel awesome.

.

And with that I'm outta here.

.

PS - looks like everyone's favourite bounty hunter has fallen on some hard, but awesome, times. Check it out for yourself.

Back to Back Entries

Ahhh the viral video . . . you know them you send them, people send them to you the whole world watches them, but who has time to watch them all? If you're unlike me and too busy to waste vast amounts of your time in such trivial pursuits then have I got the answer for you, a sweet compilation of the greatest of the viral videos.

.

I think I love Boxxy although there is something mighty appealing about Buffy the Cookie Monster Slayer. I guess it's safe to say that I still carry that torch for comic book girls . . . speaking of I nearly had geek love over load the other week when watching an episode of What's New Scooby Doo when Daphne was dressed up as Catwoman at a comic convention on the show. Mui Caliente.

.

Ever get your iPod earbuds all tangled up and not know how to get them untangled? Well have I got the video for you, after watching this you'll know how to untangle your headphones using just a simple cat. It appears to work but I can promise I'm not going to give it a go myself.

.

Since I'm already helping you out here, do you ever have to buy someone a gift but you're either too lazy or uncreative or don't care enough to pick the gift yourself? Well here's the solution for you, just have a vague idea of what your giftee is like, make a few clicks and the internet will come up with some suggestions for you. Ah the internetz is there nothing that it can't do?

.

While we're talking about the things the interwebs can do for you, how's about taking a look at seven crimes that will get you a smaller fine than file sharing. I know stealing is wrong, even if it electronic intellectual property and not a physical item but that seems more than a little off (provided the information is accurate of course and that's one of the beauty things about the internet it's constantly updated with the most up to date accurate cutting edge and the most up to date completely wrong and made up information going - that's why I love the Uncyclopedia) and perhaps law makers need to take a step back and re-evaluate things a little.

.

Ah well that's her for now, until next time.

Inked

I've been wanting another - no make that more - tattoos for a good long while now, it's just more than a bit of a pain in the ass for me to get one, factoring in the time and expense of going in and out of the city to get it done . . . but such is the price one pays for living in a bubble of a town in Northwestern Ontario I suppose.

.

No matter, but today I'd thought I'd share of the online ink viewing I've been doing (hey I'm a poet and didn't know it). Let's start out with a nice big collection of what were you thinking tattoos. Oh it starts out with a real winner and has a good mix of the badly thought out, badly done and just flat out bad ideas. Hell that was so much fun, here's another one.

.

As much as we all enjoy looking down the back of a girl's pants decorating this area with ink is not a good idea, and the tramp stamp has become as played out and stereotypical a tattoo as Taz (wow that one's got a poor idea, poor execution and bad photography all rolled into one) or the tribal slave band (sorry if you rocking either of those, I'm sure they were cool & original when you got them but now . . . gee sorry). In honour of this here's a gallery of some of the whackiest of the tramp stamps and here are some of the worst.

.

I really really hope that your shitty tattoo isn't in either of those . . . if they were, well I do honestly feel sorry for you.

.

Now how's about an entire website to the tattoo that I generally think is cool, but sooo-oh not for me, the Knuckle Tat. I actually know a guy who has a set of knuckle tats and when he laces his fingers together it spells out "LETS FUCK". Yep he's a class act all right.

.

It must be the geek in me showing through but I really like a lot of these "science" based tats . . . and these ones . . . oh and these ones too.

.

These tattoos of vintage/obsolete gadgets also appealed to me, guess I'm really letting my geek flag fly today. I know it's quite apparent that the author of that blog is definitely against these tats, but tell me this isn't awesome?

.

And well tell me that these tattoos of girls with Hello Kitty tattoos aren't a nice mix of geekery and giggity? Or maybe that's just my unhealthy attraction towards comic book and characters showing through and combining with baser geekish tendencies. And I swear I'm not a Furry. Honest.

.

Anyway since you brought it up, here's a collection of what are supposed to be the 101 hottest women sporting ink. I'll let you decide for yourself about that though.

.

Prior to this I never thought that a tattoo could have a sexual orientation, but it turns out the definitely can, so here's a nice collection of lesbian tattoos for your viewing pleasure.

.

And finally how's about this article about two prisoners being charged with forcing a third into getting a cock tattooed on the back of his neck. And you thought it was bad when you passed out at the party and your so-called friends Sharpied your sorry ass.

.

Until next time.

Movie Time

Well on the weekend I saw Rob Zombie's Halloween sequel and brothers & sisters let me tell you it's very Rob Zombie and very twisted. And I finally learned the difference between jam and jelly, and for that Rob I'll be forever grateful and seeing Brea Grant in this movie did nothing to curb my hang up on specs appeal. But hey there are worse things to be hung up . . . right?

.

Check out these great movie posters from the glory days of Ghana's "mobile cinema". The Mobile Cinema travelled around the country from village to village creating temporary movie theatres in a time when most of the population couldn't afford their own VHS (remember VHS?) machine. To attract people to the see the movies the mobile cinema they'd often hang out home made posters like the ones in the link. And yes most of this paragraph is paraphrased directly from the site I've linked. Remember you get what you pay for.

.

And since you brought up movie posters, how about Premiere.com's list of the 25 best movie posters ever? Whether you think they're right or not you have to agree that are some really good movie posters there.

.

Or maybe you'd prefer Cracked.com's collection of the 30 Strangest Movie Posters of all time? Admittedly, this is a favourite, but they seem to have an odd idea of just what exactly strange means . . . either that or I'm fucked. Proper fucked.

.

Or maybe you'd prefer a collection of embarrassing movie posters? Which in this case I think the compiler believes the definition of embarrassing to be "in bad taste" in one way, shape or form. Some quality stuff in there though, don't you think?

.

It's not movie posters, but it's another great Cracked.com Photoshop contest of The Top 25 Pieces of Movie Merchandise Too Awesome To Exist.

.

Well I've got a ton more movie links I've been waiting to share, but I'm running short on time, so with that I bid you good day, until the next blog.

Can't Stop the Red Red Croovy

Did you know that Heinz has been selling their ketchup (remember how revolutionary the squeeze bottle was when it came out?) in Canada for 100 years now? Well according to them they have (I can only vouch for the last 30 or so years personally) and to celebrate and to thank Cannucks for slathering this oh so popular condiment on nearly everything imaginable they cooked up this recipe for ketchup cake (trust me the recipe's there, scroll down a bit).

.

If you make it let me know how it is. Or better yet bring over a piece to share with me. After all if it weren't for me you wouldn't have cooked up the ketchup cake to begin with, now would you?

.

Ever wonder how cops should celebrate national police week (yeah apparently there is such a thing, I'm waiting for national big fat geek day . . . oh wait I think there is something like that but we've get a four day weekend with more boner inspiring costumery)? I used to wonder that too and then I read this article and now I know, it's by doing all the things that they were arresting people for the rest of the year. It's like Bizarro World, only less fun because it's real . . . and I doubt that the criminals go around arresting ne'er do wells during that time.

.

And finally I'd like congratulate Winnipeg on holding its title of largest Slurpee consuming market ten year's running . . . and hey you can actually put that on a sign as you enter the city unlike when you were the murder capitol of Canada.

.

Until next time.

Rock you like a hurricane

Or like a tornado to be more precise. If you haven't heard yet late last week the not quite nearby but in the region town of Ear Falls was stuck by a tornado which killed two men from Oklahoma (how's that for shitty luck? You leave Tornado Alley in the US and go on holiday to an area where tornado's are rumours and things that happen on the news and you're killed by one? I guess when it's your time it's your time) and as of my last researching one man was still missing.

.

You can check out some video from The Weather Network or an article here or here on the topic. I'm glad that tornadoes remain something that are on the news for me . . . give me 40 below instead anytime . . . and I think you'd say the same too, unless of course you're aware of something that I am not like tornado proof mittens or something.

.

Onto something completely unrelated, I've never really understood the attraction to the shiny giny (I figure it's some sorta attraction to youth or similarly pedo or maybe it's just so you swim faster) but he folks over at Playboy have taken the time classify the hair down there (their term not mine) into a rather in depth hierachy assumably so everyone is using the vernacular when discussing such things and/or taking bets on the amount or style of pubic hair on the next stripper to grace the stage at your local titty bar. Why even Ginger Spice is taking the time to check to see which category she falls into.

.

While we're on the topic of Playboy, I'm sure everyone has fantasized about doing the no pants dance with a centrefold or two but you're not Hef so what's a kid to do? Well start saving your pennies because here's a list of of Playboy centrefolds who'll shag you silly for cash. Good information to have kicking about I suppose. And don't forget after all those girls still sharing Hef's bed are only doing it because of his money and status, so really you paying a bunny or two for sex isn't a whole lot different as long as you snap a picture or two and compile a list of turn ons and turn offs.

.

Anyway I gotta get outta here. Later skaters.

Is Spring Going to Take This Time?

Good morning iPhriends, how's it going? The sun is shining brightly and it stopped snowing yesterday around dinner time, although there was a thick frost on everything when I got up this morning . . . but let's hope winter had its last hurrah for a while. I've had my fill. It's nearly May and I still have the heat on.

.

I *finally* got to see the Watchmen film Friday night at our local theatre and let me tell you it was worth the wait. I think they did a very good job of translating the books to the screen and look forward to purchasing the DVD release with up to one extra hour of footage.

.

If you seen the Watchmen I think you'd have to agree that Jackie Earle Haley, the man who played Rorschach in that film (and Kelly in the Bad News Bears), he'll make for a great, and much darker, Freddy Krueger in the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street reboot (according to this he is anyway).

.

Oh and those of you are interested how's about some pics of Malin Akkerman (the actress who played the Silk Spectre II in the film) forgetting the rule about wearing gitch under your skirt, especially when getting in and out of automobiles and you're famous and people like to take pictures of you.

.

You know I'm always planning for World War Z and think that it would be in your best interest if you did as well, because well you know I care. So what's your zombie contingency plan? If you haven't come up with one on your own yet perhaps you can read these 11 examples and you can work on your own. You know better to be prepared, like the boy scouts say "Hope for the best and prepare for the worst."

.

And finally a happy 83rd birthday to author Harper Lee . . . would you believe I've never read her To Kill a Mockingbird? And yes I did in fact graduate from high school. Go figure.

.

That's her for today, until next time.

Happy Earth Day Yo

As far as I know today is Earth Day. If you're anything like me you're going to celebrate by driving to work in a V8 (and no I haven't modified my hippy mobile to run on shitty tasting vegetable cocktail) powered vehicle a distance that can be easily walked in under ten minutes. But hopefully you're a better person than I am. I'm sure local school kids will be out picking garbage (if that's not too dangerous for your precious little snowflakes to do anymore) today which is a good thing because in this town it seems there's a general wide held misconception that throw away coffee cups from Timmy Ho's (which have travelled at least 60 miles from the nearest store to get here, how's that for a carbon foot print?), Robin's Donuts and (gasp) yes even Roy Lane are completely biodegradable and/or provide excellent shelter for the elusive Northwestern Ontario Land Hermit Crab so they tossed where ever the cup is emptied.

.

I guess it could be worse, after all it could be 6 pack yolks.

.

No matter, in honour of the day here's a slide show showing some of Mother Nature's best ideas (our weather as of late is not even close to being on this list) and how the most advanced (and hairless) apes on the planet are doing their best to mimic them for our own profit & gain. The bit about the termite mounds is pretty interesting.

.

And you know when it comes to the environment not everything sounds bad is bad, like until reading this I had no idea that toxic lakes were good things, or at least could be for migraine sufferers.

.

And well you gotta show both sides of the story, maybe, well okay you do when it supports your cause I suppose, but here's an interesting article talking about the downsides of green jobs, like how the cost over 2 jobs somewhere else . . . but as long as that somewhere else isn't your somewhere else, who cares, right?

.

And oh yeah if you've ever fancied a peek at Joss Stone's shiny giny here's your chance. Yeah I know it doesn't have anything to do with Earth Day, but the pics are from Coachella so I'm sure there were a lot of soap dodging granola munchers there.

.

And finally, happy birthday to Bettie Page and Marilyn Chambers . . . think of all self gratification that those two ladies inspired during their careers.

.

Until next time.

Things and stuff

I read this article about a couple of deaths that came from someone starting to take apart a construction crane while people were still using it, and it being, well at least partially, blamed on lack of training. You know it's not the lack of training that had this cat taking the bolts holding everything together while it was still in use, it was the over abundance of stupid.

.

Trust me on that one, if you're old enough to turn a wrench and haven't figured out that gravity makes things fall down go boom, fuck you don't even have to know it's gravity, and you haven't figured out that eventually things fall to ground, there's no hope for you.

.

Meh what can you do eh? And all the really stupid people in the world make the rest of us look a whole lot better, don't they?

.

Oh hey are you a fan Jessica Biel (not to be confused with Jennifer Beals)? Are you a fan of Jessica Biel's boobs? Well you're in luck, here you go. She's no Dita Von Teese is she, but to each their own. And well Dita just wanted to be Bettie Page when she grew up . . . not that there's anything wrong with that.

.

Since we're talking boobs, this art project will blow your mind.

.

And moving on . . . if this article is right I'm fucked. Proper fucked. Better wait three weeks until the study showing that high doses of ibuprofen reduces the risk of heart attack. And this one doesn't bode to well either. No well, what can you do eh?

.

After reading this article you can stroke having sex with koalas from that list . . . the dirty STD infected whores.

.

But maybe after reading this you'll be a lot more interested in visiting Oslo than you were before . . . although after checking this out you might want to lay off the drugs a little.

.

And finally here's an unrequested plug for a friend of a friend's tool selling website , go there and buy some shit and maybe if I send enough business their way I'll get me some cool new tools . . . like there's any other kind.

.

PS - Charlie still don't surf.

Half assing it

Check out this trailer for what might be one of the finest films released this year, Lesbian Vampire Killers. The title alone screams win, but I've been let down before. Damn you, damn you to hell Vampires versus Zombies, lucky for us the trailer looks great. This film might even be better than Zombie Strippers.

.

Since the Watchmen film comes out this Friday I think it's appropriate to take a peek at The 7 Stages of Nerdgasm: A Fanboy Awaits the Watchmen Movie. And speaking from experience, that list is pretty accurate.

.

Let this article be a lesson to you, don't piss off the Mary Kay Lady - the Avon Lady go right ahead.

.

I totally need one of these, don't you think?

.

And finally RIP Philip Jose Farmer (you can read more about him here), I hope we meet up on the Riverworld.

More Great News Everyone . . .

According to this article Faith No More is (almost) reuniting (read the band's official statement), less guitarist Big Sick Jim, for some shows in Europe this summer. FNM is one of the bands that I've always wanted to see but never had the chance to . . . and since I only won my $20 back in the Millionaire Life draw on the weekend I won't be able to jet on over to see them this go around either. No worries, being filthy rich would have changed me anyway . . . step up from taxi cabs and crack whores to limousines and super models.

.

For something a little on the local, okay regional, side; if you're from Northwestern Ontario you've no doubt heard the expression Nipigon Nylons in reference to your wool socks, well seems that some inspired entrepreneurs have gone out and got themselves a trademark for the phrase and no doubt have a three step plan to getting rich. I'm just not sure what step two is.

.

Step One - Get Trademark

.

Step Two - ?

.

Step Three - Profit

.

You can read more about it here if you're interested.

.

So last night for whatever reason while Sportscentre was flipped to after not watching RAW TSN's Jennifer Hedger came up in conversation, likely because she was on the TV in front of us, one thought that she was on a sex talk show, and for some reason I thought that she had been naked in a movie or TV show. I couldn't find her naked, but here's a vid of her making out with another girl on The Lofters. Not the best girl on girl kiss I've seen, but kudos for trying.

.

Mmmmmmmm . . . girls kissing girls.

.

I'm almost a year late to sign on, but doesn't this look like a great trip? Sure beats the hell of the Front Street Pub Crawl, involving drinks at three establishments and a tubesteak on the way home. BTW the Tavern (to the people using Trip Advisor, please note it is not the #1 restaurant in town, you want somewhere to eat here ask me I'll point you in a direction) is open for business again, so let's hope the rest of the building doesn't decide to topple over on us.

.

And finally check out this sweet recap of the original Star Wars trilogy by a girl who claims to have never seen the movies . . . and you know what she doesn't do a half bad job.

Act Now . . . they're going fast!

Yep things are changing, disappearing and becoming defunct at an alarm rate . . . some good (remember smoking in airplanes?) some bad and some just meh (rotary dial phone anyone?). But someone has taken the time to compile some of histories rarest of the rare. There's some pretty neat stuff there and if you've got any lying around, and a ping pong table, I'm totally coming over to hang out way more often.

.

Like I said things are disappearing and here's a list of companies that are thought to disappear this calendar year. I'm sure there are earth shattering ramifications to each of these going under, but I don't know that I'll miss them, I mean it's not like I drive my Chrysler to Pier 1 while talking on a Nortel phone . . . much.

.

As for Chrysler going tits up, it won't be the first car maker to do it, don't believe check out this list ask yourself where the AMC, Packard & DeSoto dealers are now.

.

But maybe you like to see disappearance on a larger scale, if so check out this extinction timeline showing history from 1950 and predictions up to 2050 . . . go check it for yourself, I don't want to spoil the ending.

.

Another thing to fall to the wayside seems to be the mustache which is too bad because all know how important facial hair is (hmmmm maybe I need one of these?), but have no fear Spike has collected what they think are history's most important mustaches. A good collection I think, but history most important? Probably not, I mean Lanny MacDonald wasn't even on the list. Now that was a quality 'stache, and really a Canadian, or at least Western Canadian Icon. Don't believe me? Check it for yourself.

.

Speaking of Canadian Iconery how about that one burning thing that unites Canadians from coast to coast, hating Toronto, and now you can enjoy it movie style, with the tongue in cheek mockumentary "Let's All Hate Toronto" no doubt made by Torontonians . . . isn't it ironic, donchathink?

.

And Katy Perry wore a green bikini, and I liked it.

.

And that's her. Until next time.

I'll tell you who I am . . .

. . . I'm a Repo Man.

.

Here's some good news for the punkers/fans of cult films; according to this article a Repo Man sequel is going to start filming next month. Could this be another classic destroyed before our very eyes? Only time will tell.

.

Speaking of classics, remember the Macho Man Randy Savage? Of course you do, or perhaps I should have said "ooooooooooooooooooooh yeah!". Ever wonder what he's up to these days? Well I can't answer that question, but I can say that here's a current pic of Savage, or at least it's supposed to be him. For all I know it could be an old washed country music star.

.

I think that after seeing these pics, Sweden might a great place to go out on the town in and watch beautiful women from across the bar and not talk to them. Maybe I can go there after I have my fill of beer, brats and girls kissing girls at Oktoberfest.

,

Although after reading this article about nine British women who were charged with prostitution after being arrested for taking part in an oral sex competition (I guess they were charging admission?), I just may have to hit up the Greek holiday island of Zakynthos.

.

But I'm thinking that maybe Greece isn't the place to be after seeing these pictures of the riots that broke out there as a result of police shooting a teen. There's some quality, albeit shocking, photography in there and once again I have a new appreciation for the safety and even keelness of living where I do, even if it is -33 Celsius outside right now . . . but what would you do if you went outside in December and the snot in your nose didn't freeze with your first inhalation of breath?

.

And today I'll leave you with a new twist on a holiday classic, The ASBO Before Christmas, brought to you by the man who wrote the book The ASBO Fairy Tales.

Killing time . . .

Killing time, your life's on the line, killing time your turn to kill.

.

Here's a video I found to be more than a little amusing, but then again I'm a bit of a geek, anyway if you too want to watch an extremely well edited video pitting Star Trek versus Star Wars click here. If not, why are you here anyway?

.

It's no big secret that I'm a fan of Terry Pratchett's Discworld series of novels, but sadly Mr. Pratchett has been diagnosed with a form a Alzheimer's Disease and I say sad because that will mean an end to my beloved Discworld. But so it goes, anyway here's a good interview/article with Pratchett about what's what and the disease how things are going.

.

Here's great news for fans of movies and getting hammered; according to this article two Cineplexes in Toronto are going to start serving alcohol. So no more having to sneak booze into the theatre . . . although at the rate that theatres jack up the cost of stuff at their concession stands a $15 rum and coke just might be enough to keep you refilling that flask . . . although I did pay $10 for an Irish Coffee at the hotel I stayed at last in Niagara Falls.

.

No well, how's about a little giggity then? These pictures here of a woman dressed up as Harley Quinn are absolutely no help for my attraction to comic book girls.

.

And today I'll leave you with Jingle Hells Bells. It's every bit as good as it sounds. I'm outta here, and I'm locking lasers on you.

Only 9 Shoplifting Days Until Christmas

I think that I should let you all know that I've found a new political leaning and leader in Chairman Meow. I think you'll all agree that he is the way to go and the new way of the future.

Remember 1987? Remember 20/20? Remember Stone Phillips? Remember how evil metal used to be? I'm looking at you Venom. Slightly related I watch Mythbusters Sunday night and Kari was wearing a Venom shirt. Throw up that metal salute kids.

Well check it all, here's some vintage Stone Phillips exposing heavy metal on 20/20 way back in, you guessed it, 1987. It focuses on the metal of the time, high school age metal fans, and stuff like the PMRC so it comes off really sensationalist, ill informed and douchey. No wonder people thought metal meant the end of youth and innocence. Did they say that about Elvis and the blues and dancing too? Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden is also interviewed. Clip 1 of 2 is here and 2 of 2 is here.

I'm sure you're all aware that Bettie Page was hospitalised after having a heart attack and has recently died at the age of 85 in LA. Why the bother? Well all you need is a Google Image Search to answer that question.

Well it's hard to get away from all things giftmasy at this time of the year, so I'm going to add to it with more Christmas music, but this time it's a collection of the 100 best down and out Christmas tunes.

This is one with 12 good bits of trivia that you may not already know about one of my favourite Christmas movies of all time, A Christmas Story.

Another hallmark of the end of the year is the year's best lists that keep popping up. This one ain't Christmasy but it's a nice compilation of some of the best viral videos (you know those jerky little clips that pop up on websites all over the net or that everyone emails to you after you emailed it to them?) of 2008. There is some definite win in there.

This is just flat out full of win as it's National Geographic's best photos of 2008. I wish I had the mad skills to be a Nat Geo photographer. I could probably pull off being a writer for the National Enquirer though . . . okay maybe not the Enquirer, but for sure the World Weekly News.

And lastly to help you out with your holly day shopping the good folks over at Signals are having a 20% off everything in stock sale. Enter Coupon Code RUDOLPH upon checkout to receive your discount. Sale ends at 11:59pm EST on December 18, 2008.

And I am outta here!

On the first day of Giftmas my true love gave to me . . .

Well 'tis the season or close to it anyway, so let's get the giftmas flowing with some guy's collection of the top Christmas inspired music videos. I can say there are some real winners in that collections but I for one honestly cannot believe that The Fairytale of New York was left off that list - or hell any list of Christmas songs - I mean it's almost enough to make you want to go out and start a dysfunctional relationship with someone just so you can fight with each other like that. Only I hope your mental/special someone has a nicer smile than Shane MacGowan does.

.

Although it's another one that I do enjoy I'm not as surprised that it didn't make that list, but it easily could have, Bob & Doug MacKenzie's (who are coming back to TV in cartoon form) 12 Days of Christmas. I mean who doesn't want five golden tuques and 7 packs of smokes?

.

While we're rocking the 12 Days of Christmas, how's about taking a look at Twisted Sister's version of it, The Heavy Metal Christmas. In fact Twisted Sister released an entire Christmas record a couple years ago aptly called Twisted Christmas with twisted versions of other Christmas classics like Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and Come All Ye Faithful.

.

Where's Tipper Gore & the PMRC now?

.

And since I've already started to metal up your Christmas record collection how's about taking a look at Monster Ballad Xmas which I'm sure you've figured out now consists of hair metal bands doing Christmas songs, like Skid Row doing Jingle Bells, Dokken rocking Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Tom Keifer, from Cinderella, having a Blue Christmas.

.

And one last holiday song for today - forget about Sandler's Hanukkah Song because here's one for all your non-believing friends out there, The Atheism Song.

.

I know I kinda missed the boat (pun entirely intended) on this one, but here's a bit of a great online graphic novel telling the story of the first Thanksgiving, The First Thanksgiving: An Almost Graphic Representation. Trust me it's worth the read, it made me laugh, but then again I'm a bad person.

.

And from the bad news front, looks like everyone's favourite classic pinup girl, Ms Bettie Page, is critically ill after having a heart attack. I guess no matter how big a cult following you may or may not have sooner or later you will dance with the Reaper. Here's to speedy recovery. Here's Bettie in action from 1950 or maybe you prefer Bettie's pinup work? Or her bondage photos?

.

Well that's her for now, but I will leave you with a list of the 11 Lamest Blogs on the Net, thankfully this one didn't make the list this time . . . hows about your's?

.

That's it for today, now take off, eh.

Writing Stuff

Well apparently it's good news for the Sioux Lookout Flyers fan out there, word on the street is that a mysterious hockey and money losing loving man from Winnipeg and a collection of local businessmen have given the team an injection of life, aka cashish, and they'll be around at least for this season. There's some info on the team website and in the local rag.

.

There's also a team meet and great at the Legion after one of their games this weekend, I'm sure I've seen both Sunday and Saturday listed as the date depending on the source, so let's hope it's Saturday because Sunday is Grey Cup Sunday and even though no one likes the CFL everyone will be watching this game.

.

No matter, congratulations Sioux Lookout Flyers, best of luck to you and once again I look forward to not attending any of your games.

.

Since I mentioned the local paper earlier, I feel the need to mention this; in the paper again this week is another write up extolling the virtues of being a loca-vore. Me I prefer the message in this article which is basically "Food miles are for jerks who hate the environment." and make some good points to support this stance, or at least they do in my opinion. But what do I know of such things, I'm positive each side is skewing the facts to suit their own agendas.

.

All I have to say about this is to quote the words of the great orator and icon of our times, Mr. Ralph Wiggum, "Me fail English? That's unpossible." Be prepared to be shocked and amused at the leader's of tomorrow completely unmazing grasp of the Engrish language.

.

Now it's time for a little kitsch with a nice collection of some sweet paintings on velvet. There are some truly awesome ones in there, I mean before seeing this I never would have put the King of Kings and the (alleged) King of Rock together. My folks had a sweet painting of deer/bush scene on velvet on the living room wall forever with a frame quite similar to the one around this bad boy.

.

Well that's her for now, but I will leave with some pics of Kim Kardashian on a Miami beach. You know I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave.

Fly Fly Away

Well it looks like my lovely little town's Junior A hockey team the Sioux Flyers of the Superior International Junior Hockey League, that just started this season, is on its way out with the owner and coach/manager both walking away from the team.

.

I may have said this in an email I sent last night, but I don't care about this team and whether or not it folds or survives, but you might, so in case you are and feel like being hit up for donations go to the Knights of Columbus Hall here at noon today for an emergency meeting, which despite what the poster says that I saw posted up at Robin's Donuts and that someone emailed me last night has not been moved to King Street, it's still where it always was. It's little things like that that help to make it clearer why the team is in a bad way.

.

Here's what CKDR has to say about the meeting.

.

I've got a pretty good idea of what the result of this emergency meeting will be, and I tip my hat to the kids on the team to say good bye. Although going to this meeting might be a chance to actually see the team since I haven't noticed them making much of attempt to get out into the Community and make their presence known, you know the whole kissing hands, shaking babies thing . . . but then again I'm not out in the Community either so unless these guys came by my living room I probably never would have seen them, and no don't get ideas I don't want that to happen.

.

No well, good luck Sioux Flyers . . . I was really looking forward to not going to any of your games.

.

But hey enough of that, let's get down to bidnizz bitches. How about we take a look at a couple new posters for the new Star Trek film scheduled for a May 8 release? How awesome does Sylar look as Spock in the one poster? As awesome as the posters be prepare for a bit of a Trek related let down . . . let's have us a look at new Enterprise.

.

It would appear that the good people over at Trek, who hopefully hate time travel story arcs as much as I do, have been saddled with a bit of Lucasism and forgot something about technology, it gets better as you go into the future, not the past and the Enterprise they've created for a movie set before The Original Series in the Trek time line has the most futuristic and fancy looking ship to date. Make sense to me this does not.

.

I mean sure make the effects better, but really the ship should look like the one from the Original Series, just with more realistic space backgrounds and fewer sentient gas/energy cloud monsters. Or am I the only one who feels this way? Or better question am I the only one who cares? Probably.

.

As I'm sure you're aware Christmas is coming, so you'd probably start to bone up on your Christian lore and legend. Since I'm a nice guy I'll help you out a bit here, first off here's a collection of 40 Awesome Versions Jesus guaranteed to offend almost any God fearing Christian for your viewing pleasure. There are some top quality pieces in there for sure.

.

All right now that you remember what Jesus looked like, some of his many adventures and feel bad for not paying closer attention and probably falling asleep during the sermon about Jesus and the Ghostbusters it's time to sharpen up on your Bible quotes.

.

Check out this sweet sadistic bible verse gear from the fine and fanatical folks over at Landover Baptist (it's where the worthwhile worship you know . . . bet even the worthwhile and saved can't say that five times fast). They've emblazoned the choicest of bible verses onto everything from teddy bears to gitch to coffee cups. Let the breeders in your office know how you really feel about the froot of their looms with this mug in the coffee room Monday morning.

.

And finally here's an interview of Jesus carried out by none other than Mr. Ron Burgundy.

.

Here's a good news/bad news item; seems that according to this article the stink in farts controls blood pressure. Now infer what you like from I'm implying but based on this information it seems to me that my blood pressure must be wicked high these past few days.

.

Since The Quantum of Solace is opening today here's a link to a collection of classic Bond novel cover art, but to see the pics you've got to scroll down, scroll way down.

.

And I'll sign off with something a little racy - seems not only did Katy Perry kiss a girl, and I hear she liked it, she also popped out of her top while performing at a charity concert in Toronto, and of course The Sun was there.

.

I liked that.

Back At It

Yep we're back at it again after what a break of three weeks or so?

.

Where have I been you wonder? What have I been doing? Well we're glad you asked, the start to the break in the blogging was because I spent four days in lovely Niagara Falls at the Fallsview Sheraton, for work of all things. So that takes care of part of it . . . but before we go on, I want to know, why is it that the more I pay for a hotel room, the worse I get treated?

.

I mean if I stay at a place for $90 a night I get free internet in my room and breakfast the next day. Spend over $200 a night and internet costs me $15.00 a day and breakfast is a $25? I don't get it, either that or the service industry doesn't. No matter it didn't cost me and I had a sweet view of the falls from the 30th floor of the hotel . . . I almost needed an oxygen mask for the elevator ride to my room.

.

So anyway back to why I wasn't here . . . the day travelling back to town after the Niagara Falls trip was also spent driving, well riding shotgun, to Winnipeg for a couple nights at the Place Louis Riel (I wonder how many other countries have places, hotels or holidays (albeit a provincial one) for a man hanged for high treason? Well I guess the UK does have bonfire night for good old Guy Fawkes and his merry band of Catholic Conspirators (or political fallguys or patsies)) to geek it up flatlander style at the Manitoba Comicon and eat Indian food.

.

The con was great fun, over 16, 000 people went through over the two days and I scored some cool new toys, some new graphic novels, got Lou Ferrigno's autograph (who's still a big man, I could barely get my hand around his to shake it), got to meet a new and great artist Laurie B. (I'm sure once you see her art you'll know why I was so enthralled with her work and couldn't decide what to buy from her, but settled on a sketch book, that way I got it all). Big ups to her for putting up with me coming back to her table several times flipping threw her art . . . but given her line of work and the target audience I'm sure she's used to it. If not she put on a great front and sometimes I can handle being lied to.

.

We also got to chat with a TV Superboy for a bit, watched Helen Slater (the movie Supergirl) from a safe distance, and trust me she's still looking good, saw Erica Durance (who surprisingly has no bum at all, don't get me wrong, she's good looking, but then she turned around and pow, there's back, there's legs, there's no ass . . . I don't know how she poops).

.

We also saw a rather scary looking tranny Supergirl (who was Batgirl or should I say Bat Ladyboy the next day) but that's okay . . . that was more than balanced with all the giggity from the girls, although many of them were jailbait, I'll admit it, prancing about in their comic book costumery. Needless to say it filled my mind with superhero powered sin.

.

If you're into Indian food and in Winnipeg check that place out, I eat there regularly when I'm in the city, and I think it's good . . . and who's a better judge of quality Indian food than a big white guy from a small town that grew up thinking there were only four kinds of cheese in the whole world (cheddar, mozza, cheez whiz and cheese slices) and grew up in a house where black pepper was considered a blazing hot spice? Hey answer me that.

.

And you're in luck, it looks like you can order spices through the restaurant website if you're interested - I can't promise that the same spices will make the food at home just as good, but it's a start eh?

.

We also spent a rather amusing evening at the East Kildonian Legion . . . Legions are Legions it seems but this one had the first $2.50 drinks I've had in a long time, and for that and a few of the regular patrons it will hold a special place in my heart for a while.

.

So that explains away one week and a long weekend, then I was in Kasabonika for work . . .and the weather was miserable, cold wet rainy snow, low ceiling, just miserable . . . but I made it out when I was supposed and no one got hurt.

.

Then there was a couple days in Kingfisher Lake this week, throw in a couple busy weekends and pow she's all gone and here we are. but now let's get down to bidnizz bitches . . .

.

I think I owe you all a little public service announcement here and sorry for the short notice, but if you were ever a fan of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video, on Oct 25th you will have the chance to dance the same routine simultaneously with others worldwide. You can read about it here, but it's taking place tomorrow so you'd better read fast and call into work sick so you can spend the day getting your zombie dance choreography down.

.

Why this might even be better than the Thai Prison Thriller Dance . . . but that's going to be hard to top, doncha think?

.

In entertainment news, according to this there's a Muppet movie for adults in the works . . . this leaves me wondering if that means we'll have to see Miss Piggy being DP'd on the big screen? No matter I'm sure I'll go see it either way, after all you cannot go wrong with the Muppets. I just wish that someone was rerunning the Muppet Show . . . but maybe it will come, after all Teletoon Retro is rerunning Fraggle Rock at the moment.

.

If you're ever after a good laugh on the job site, pull the netting/straps out of your hardhat, put it back on your head and proclaim yourself a Doozer. Trust me it's a hoot.

.

Well that's all we have time for today, but I will leave you with this lovely cross over of geekery and giggity, check out this picture from the new Star Trek film and I'm sure you'll be pleased to see the that the Original Series uniforms are back baby yeah. There are some words to go along with the picture here, but you don't care about that do you?

.

Anyway, I'm outtie.

Public Service Announcement

In case you aren't already aware the National Canadian Do Not Call List went online the other day, so if you'd like to register your phone numbers on there to keep most telemarketing calls from getting (some are exempt from the list like political parties, companies you've done business with in the last so much time, shit like that) go and sign on. That is of course if you believe that telemarketers will actually give a shit about this law and that when they do break it that someone will actually enforce it.

.

Here's to hoping though.

.

How about a little history? Did you know that on this day in 1871 Mormon prophet Brigham Young is arrested for cohabitating with a 16-year-old girl. Even 100 years ago jailbait was hard to resist.

.

That's enough real information - now how about some sweet pics from Oktoberfest in Munich, which is apparently the German festival of girls kissing girls. How do you say Giggity in German? Guess I'm going to have to save up for a ticket for this bad boy.

.

Since we're talking about Germany, how about this article that talks about how herds of German women are stampeding out to get their one time oh so cool tramp stamps, or as the Germans call them Arschgeweih, literally “ass antlers”, because they aren't cool any more . . . and even more likely because everyone thinks you're a whore and/or stripper if you've got one.

.

I'm not saying that I necessarily do, I'm just saying that most people do . . . me I just figure you're big on trends. But next time instead of getting a piece of body that's going to be cool for a couple years and then not, go out and buy a crazy new hat or those sweet sunglasses that all the kids are wearing these days, yeah you know the ones, the ones that make you look like a total d-bag just for wearing them.

.

At least when they're not cool anymore you can bin them and the only proof that you ever had a set would be a couple photos and fuzzy remembrances to be dusted off for an embarrassing slide show at your wedding and/or retirement.

.

Well we're running out of time, so in honour of cold and flu season I'll leave you with this article that talks about a new cure for congestion . . . so go bust a nut for your health. If you don't have someone there to help you out, go have a wank for your health. Man what can't it do, keep you young, clear your sinuses, make you go blind and crazy and put hair on your palms. Sooo-oh sweet.

.

I gotta go I think I feel cold coming on.