Movie Time

Well on the weekend I saw Rob Zombie's Halloween sequel and brothers & sisters let me tell you it's very Rob Zombie and very twisted. And I finally learned the difference between jam and jelly, and for that Rob I'll be forever grateful and seeing Brea Grant in this movie did nothing to curb my hang up on specs appeal. But hey there are worse things to be hung up . . . right?

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Check out these great movie posters from the glory days of Ghana's "mobile cinema". The Mobile Cinema travelled around the country from village to village creating temporary movie theatres in a time when most of the population couldn't afford their own VHS (remember VHS?) machine. To attract people to the see the movies the mobile cinema they'd often hang out home made posters like the ones in the link. And yes most of this paragraph is paraphrased directly from the site I've linked. Remember you get what you pay for.

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And since you brought up movie posters, how about Premiere.com's list of the 25 best movie posters ever? Whether you think they're right or not you have to agree that are some really good movie posters there.

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Or maybe you'd prefer Cracked.com's collection of the 30 Strangest Movie Posters of all time? Admittedly, this is a favourite, but they seem to have an odd idea of just what exactly strange means . . . either that or I'm fucked. Proper fucked.

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Or maybe you'd prefer a collection of embarrassing movie posters? Which in this case I think the compiler believes the definition of embarrassing to be "in bad taste" in one way, shape or form. Some quality stuff in there though, don't you think?

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It's not movie posters, but it's another great Cracked.com Photoshop contest of The Top 25 Pieces of Movie Merchandise Too Awesome To Exist.

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Well I've got a ton more movie links I've been waiting to share, but I'm running short on time, so with that I bid you good day, until the next blog.

Is if over yet?

Apparently in today's day and age contraception myths are still quite prevalent, or at least that's what this article from BBC News has told me. Scary stuff really, but you're in luck, standing during sex is still deemed effective birth control.

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As hard as it is to imagine that people still believe these things, it can be harder yet to imagine just what one trillion dollars is, or maybe that's just me. I mean I can picture many and lots, but a trillion? It might as well be a kajillion. No matter here's a cool site that visually depicts just what a trillion dollars is . . . or maybe you can picture it better as 20, 000, 000, 000 days (nearly 5.5 million years or over 73, 000 life times) with a Thai Whore.

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Talk about loving you long time big boy.

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Here's one for the Star Wars fans; a picture of R2 D2 that just might cause you to go blind. I warned you.

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Think you know your tubers and/or your adult film stars? Well put that vast wealth of knowledge to the test with the "Pornstar or Potato" test. It's pretty hot.

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Did you know that pissing in the shower saves the rain forest? Well that's what the Brazilian government (wow that's a lot of governments) is telling their people, or that's what this article is telling me anyway. Who knew being to lazy to get out of the shower, towel off, use the toilet and get back in was good for the environment.

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I wonder if pissing in sinks will save pandas?

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Pissing in Old Faithful only saves you rent as you'll be a guest at the Graybar Hotel. Don't say I didn't warn you.

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And I will leave you with what is easily one of the most awesome things I saw all day yesterday . . . teapot blowing. Tell me you don't want to go out and try this for yourself now.
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Liar.

Giving You Another One Just Like the Other One

As you may or may not know or care I live in Canada and it's awesome, everything smells of pine trees, you can get any article of clothing in plaid flannel, you can use the term tuque and people know exactly what you mean (which is a whole lot easier than referring to your new knit winter hat) and we've got socialised health care.

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Personally I love it, but I know there are many people out there, both outside the country and in it, who don't know how it works or how it would work for them and maybe this will clear things up for you.

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Regular readers will have figured out that I have some issues with soap-dodgers and half baked schemes, and man do I ever love to hear things like the Prius is more environmentally damaging than a BMW M3. Take that you smug bastards . . . and yeah don't worry I really know what the message of the clip was, just like I *really* know what the message of driving a Prius is.

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Now some science I can stand behind 100% - making dinosaurs from chickens. Nothing can possibly go wrong there can it? And think of the omelets you could make from those eggs and imagine a McNugget from Ronnie that could feed four? Now that's progress you can sink your teeth into.

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Oh and a bit of a favour and public service announcement, please stop emailing me to inform me that baby carrots are causing cancer from their chlorine marination it's not true . . . that is of course if you believe Snopes and the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (see section 4.4 Antimicrobial Treatment of the linked document) over some email that's been forwarded 100 different times from your aunt's neighbour's nephew who is thinking about switching his major from bong hits to pre-med even though he's at the local Community College.

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Thanks.

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Oh, and it looks like someone beat me to it . . . Batman son of Superman, how much more awesome can you get?

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And with that I will say Good Bye.

For My Loyal Fan

Yep, another post, and it's not even been a month. What's going on in the world? Well lots (I've been busy jumping motorcycles over mountains, try it for yourself, it's fun), but let's just focus on some of the funner bits for now eh? Maybe this is why I wasn't as regular on here as I could have been?

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In case you too were disappointed with the GI Joe film (which would have been a lot more enjoyable for me if it weren't called GI Joe) like I was (but I was disappointed exactly how I thought I was going to be disappointed, so is that really disappointment? A question for the ages, something you can figure out after determining what the sound of one hand clapping is) I think you'll thoroughly enjoy The Ballad of GI Joe over at Funny or Die.

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Personally I think that was cast & costumed a whole lot better than the film was, at least you could tell who the Joes were just by looking at them . . . and Henry Rollins as Duke? How much better can you get?

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None, none better.

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Hey all that being said I enjoyed the GI Joe film more than Transformers 2, and the funny thing about that is I thought Transformers 2 was better than the first Transformers film, but not even half as good as the Transformers animated movie.

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Oh and for the record, the GI Joe animated movie sucked balls too, so I don't hold everything from when I was a kid in high regards . . . but this does lead me to ask when are they going to make another Masters of the Universe film, but that's a cherished childhood memory that could due with being smashed on the rocks of Hollywood ineptitude.

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Oh wait, they are and apparently it's slated for a 2011 release. I will keep hopes high for this for now, after all it will be hard to out bad the Dolph Lundgren MotU film.

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In other news that has geeks foaming at the mouth, looks like the Disney Corporation has bought up Marvel Comics, you can read a bit about it here, but you've already got the message. This causes one to ask a few big questions like will Hannah Montana be Spiderman's new love interest and will the cast of High School Musical will be joining the X-Men?

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Apparently that won't be the case and the Mouse will give Marvel the autonomy that Pixar or ABC or ESPN enjoys, so that's good. Maybe we don't need to ask how Disney will affect Marvel, maybe it will work the other way around. That seems to be what this guy thought over here anyway.

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Well that's her for now, but I will leave you today with a collection of some great motivational posters featuring Mark Twain quotes, because you can't go wrong with a little Twain.

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Until next time.

I Think I Need to Brush Up on My Bible

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'Cause I had no idea it was this awesome!

Been Neglectful

Yeah it's been a while, but so it goes . . . after all you do get what you pay for don't you?

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So what's new? Lots probably, but the only thing to pops to mind is that I got a new set of eyeglasses delivered to my door for $27 from these guys here. That's big news. Otherwise I've just had things that I'd rather in the real world than spend time here. But I'm back . . . for today anyway.

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So did you hear that Greyhound will be cutting bus service (make your own jokes about beheadings on the bus) in Northwestern Ontario & Manitoba? Yep apparently they are and they're blaming the government for it saying that they're losing too much money operating the rural routes that the government is making them run. True I don't know,

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Anyway you can read more about it here or the official announcement here if you're interested.

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If you're into metal you're bound to think that the potential concert tour that Kerry King mentions in this article would be a full on metal onslaught. I think I'd buy a ticket for that show, and I've seen all those bands at least once in the past.

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It's not metal, pretty it's damned rock and roll - check out this article about a British guy who just got in his car one day and started driving around the world. There's something very appealing about an adventure like that, but I suppose it's not for everyone. But we do have one thing in common, I too enjoy pleasing myself day after day.

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Finally . . . an answer to how to dispose 1000 fake dog testicles.

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Well that's her for now, until next time . . . whenever that might be.