Is Spring Going to Take This Time?

Good morning iPhriends, how's it going? The sun is shining brightly and it stopped snowing yesterday around dinner time, although there was a thick frost on everything when I got up this morning . . . but let's hope winter had its last hurrah for a while. I've had my fill. It's nearly May and I still have the heat on.

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I *finally* got to see the Watchmen film Friday night at our local theatre and let me tell you it was worth the wait. I think they did a very good job of translating the books to the screen and look forward to purchasing the DVD release with up to one extra hour of footage.

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If you seen the Watchmen I think you'd have to agree that Jackie Earle Haley, the man who played Rorschach in that film (and Kelly in the Bad News Bears), he'll make for a great, and much darker, Freddy Krueger in the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street reboot (according to this he is anyway).

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Oh and those of you are interested how's about some pics of Malin Akkerman (the actress who played the Silk Spectre II in the film) forgetting the rule about wearing gitch under your skirt, especially when getting in and out of automobiles and you're famous and people like to take pictures of you.

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You know I'm always planning for World War Z and think that it would be in your best interest if you did as well, because well you know I care. So what's your zombie contingency plan? If you haven't come up with one on your own yet perhaps you can read these 11 examples and you can work on your own. You know better to be prepared, like the boy scouts say "Hope for the best and prepare for the worst."

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And finally a happy 83rd birthday to author Harper Lee . . . would you believe I've never read her To Kill a Mockingbird? And yes I did in fact graduate from high school. Go figure.

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That's her for today, until next time.

Words to live by

Never piss off someone who owns a backhoe.
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See?

How high's the water momma?

Maybe you've been busy living under a rock or taking bets on which of the Big 3 declares bankruptcy first but there are other things going on, like southern Manitoba flooding. Oh the glamour and excitement of living in flood plain.

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Seeing these pictures makes me think that yeah, Manitoba could have been the bottom of an ancient inland sea . . . and holy mosquitos, when things start to warm up and dry up.

I'll put this into the boy I'm glad it's not me files.

Happy Earth Day Yo

As far as I know today is Earth Day. If you're anything like me you're going to celebrate by driving to work in a V8 (and no I haven't modified my hippy mobile to run on shitty tasting vegetable cocktail) powered vehicle a distance that can be easily walked in under ten minutes. But hopefully you're a better person than I am. I'm sure local school kids will be out picking garbage (if that's not too dangerous for your precious little snowflakes to do anymore) today which is a good thing because in this town it seems there's a general wide held misconception that throw away coffee cups from Timmy Ho's (which have travelled at least 60 miles from the nearest store to get here, how's that for a carbon foot print?), Robin's Donuts and (gasp) yes even Roy Lane are completely biodegradable and/or provide excellent shelter for the elusive Northwestern Ontario Land Hermit Crab so they tossed where ever the cup is emptied.

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I guess it could be worse, after all it could be 6 pack yolks.

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No matter, in honour of the day here's a slide show showing some of Mother Nature's best ideas (our weather as of late is not even close to being on this list) and how the most advanced (and hairless) apes on the planet are doing their best to mimic them for our own profit & gain. The bit about the termite mounds is pretty interesting.

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And you know when it comes to the environment not everything sounds bad is bad, like until reading this I had no idea that toxic lakes were good things, or at least could be for migraine sufferers.

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And well you gotta show both sides of the story, maybe, well okay you do when it supports your cause I suppose, but here's an interesting article talking about the downsides of green jobs, like how the cost over 2 jobs somewhere else . . . but as long as that somewhere else isn't your somewhere else, who cares, right?

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And oh yeah if you've ever fancied a peek at Joss Stone's shiny giny here's your chance. Yeah I know it doesn't have anything to do with Earth Day, but the pics are from Coachella so I'm sure there were a lot of soap dodging granola munchers there.

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And finally, happy birthday to Bettie Page and Marilyn Chambers . . . think of all self gratification that those two ladies inspired during their careers.

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Until next time.

If I Sent My Kids to School . . .

. . . I think I'd want to enroll them in one of the fine schools in Portage la Prairie after seeing this picture.
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I think I overslept . . . until October

First off let me open with "Fuck this weather, fuck it in its stupid ass". I've had enough of this, and we're not flooding out or anything, just 3/4's the way through April still with snow on the ground, and oh yeah some of it's nice and fresh. Ah well maybe a pic of Jenn Aniston topless will chase away the weather related blues.

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Did you know/realise that today is the 10th anniversary of the Columbine High School shooting rampage? If you're rocking this sweet shirt from T Shirt Hell you probably already knew that though. Oh how time flies, eh? And now this has become part of culture and language.

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Also if you haven't heard legendary (??) porn star and Ivory Snow box model Marilyn Chambers was found dead at age 56 in her trailer home. More here if you're interested. At one time I had a copy of Behind the Green Door on VHS . . . I don't recall anything about so either I didn't watch it (unlikely) or it wasn't that stand out.

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And here's some interesting news for the (non-Somali type) pirates (learn the shocking truth about pirates here) out there - the four founders of The Pirate Bay have been sentenced to one year in prison for copyright infringement. You can read more about it here, but don't fret about the Pirate Bay going down, I hear Google is just as good as anything else for searching out the torrents.

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You know I haven't been too sure about where to go on holiday next, but after seeing this maybe Cyprus is in order?

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And oh yeah, Happy Birthday Adi and happy 4/20 to my stoner readers out there.

What's the best part of a long weekend?

The short week that follows.

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Yeah so I made it through the Easter weekend, which I'm lucky enough to have four days off for, how'd you fair? It might be a little late, but here's an interesting list of ten things you didn't know about Easter from Time. But where's Eostre?

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In keeping with the season, here's a list of 7 things from pop culture that apparently piss Jesus off. And no I don't think they mean that dude from Old Mexico who takes care of your lawn.

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Keeping with the religious theme, dare you look into the flaming pit of hell? It's horrible and not appropriate for work. But don't say I didn't warn you.

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Now I just have to wonder, where do you get that done, and how do you start that conversation with the guy on the other side of the counter?

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If you still watch Saturday Night Live you might have already seen this sketch the other weekend, but if you are still watching SNL, I have to ask is it worth it? Before Tina Fey left if I was watching I'd flip over to NBC around 11 (that's central time) knowing that weekend update was going to be on shortly after that, then stop watching after that. After Tina Fey left, I stopped watching . . . but then funny thing, I've never watched a single episode of her new show 30 Rock. Go figure.

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You know I think it's true, cats don't care.

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Thanks to this sweet gear now any kid can blow up the Death Star. Combine that stuff with your Taun Taun sleeping bag and you'll the coolest kid camping out on the sidewalk waiting to get into the next Star Wars Celebration (that's celebration, not convention, apparently they're touchy about that shit) to hear Billy Dee Williams ramble aimlessly/incoherently about waist versus full length capes and whether or not Colt 45 really works every time. Well okay maybe not the coolest kid, but you'll be cooler than these people, that I can promise.

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Maybe you'd be better off with this Death Star on your camp out, if times get tough you can always eat it before feasting on the tender well marbled flesh of your compatriots.

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You know, I'm a fan of concerts, I loves me some live music . . . I have to say that one thing I've never done is crowd surf, doubt I ever will, but I've pass people along and thrown people up on top of the crowd, but I don't know if any of those experiences top these. I don't know about you, but this one is a personal favourite.

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And I will sign off today with something that does my heart good to see. Enjoy.

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Until next time.

Dear World, I'm sorry

You know, I always figured I was partly responsible, but it looks like I'm even more liable than I had even dared think in the past and now thanks to this article the cats really out of the bag. Thanks for spilling the beans Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva. Seems that Brazil's president blames blue eyed honkeys for the world's current economic crisis.

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Again I'm sorry, I'm trying to make things better, but the man, aka Barack Obama is keeping me down.

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At least you can say I'm not at responsible for this . . . and of course no one in their right mind would think a deer was responsible for it either, would they?

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Hey, here's an article with a good reason to go back to Oz . . . okay well I guess it's two reasons really . . . big reasons.

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Speaking of Oz, according to this the Sidney Ritz-Carlton has shut its doors. That might not mean anything to you, but if you're a crazed INXS/Micheal Hutchence fan you're lamenting the fact that you never got to be in the building where the former INXS front man ended his life with a belt on the back of a door. Me I got to ride past in a hearse and look out the windows at it.

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And just in case you've got an unhealthy attraction to that hot cousin that you get to see every other Christmas, this article might be a good reason to go to Romania. Or France or Spain or Portugal. You know they're right, just because something's immoral doesn't mean it should be illegal . . . but damn.

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And oh yeah apparently the children of cousins are not only have a greater risk of having multiple heads and tails, but also have a greater risk of catching infectious diseases and playing the banjo on a porch swing.

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Apparently incest isn't that uncommon in nature, but then again so is eating your young, so let's not sue that as a defence for the fact that you think a family reunion is a great place to score chicks.

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Well I'm outta here for now.

A Quick Joke

A blonde goes into the cleaners & drops off a blouse to be dry-cleaned.

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As she's leaving, the man behind the counter says, 'Come again.'

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The blonde stops and says, 'No, it's mustard this time.'

Were you an April Fool?

I think I made it through unscathed, although you might think that meeting about there being a new employment policy at work yesterday going into effect that day, but that there weren't copies available for us at the moment, could have been an April Fool's prank . . . but it wasn't. That's just how it is.

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Breaking news! Santa was arrested. For what I don't know, but here's the mugshot.

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It's no secret I love cover tunes, I'm telling you that all the time, well a Ukrainian band took Katy Perry's Hot N Cold and turned it into this, which is pure unadulterated win in my humble opinion.

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This one was too good not to share, and it'll make you think twice before you take a bologna sammich from anyone who's giggling even a little.

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Speaking of bologna, did you know that apparently lobster is the new bologna? Yeah sure pull on the other one, it's got bells. I'll believe that when I can get a pound of lobster in the deli for under $2.

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There's no mention of how to get the cock out of your bologna sammich, but here's a cool collection of the top 25 food hacks (that's what they're calling them). Here's one for the Survivorman.

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And here's some good news for people in TO - street meat there is going to be getting a whole lot better, or at least wider in variety, downside is you'll have to be in Toronto . . . and believe you me a kebab on the way home from the boozer is fantastic . . . and don't be cheap with the garlic in mine thanks. Oh and meat pies for breakfast . . . to die for. Beef & cheese pie from a bakery on a street that leads to the beach at 7 in the morning in Byron Bay was easily the best pie I've ever had ever.

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And this one is for the Willow (who's been sending some regular traffic my way as of late, thanks for that, it's probably due to Where the Wild Things Are and not because her readership is changing to sci-fi reading, cartoon watching, car loving, action figure collecting, pin-up obsessed geeks, but maybe?) . . . or maybe it's this one . . . I can't remember. Oh perhaps you were expecting this instead?

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And that's her for today, if anyone sees Mother Nature, give that old biddy a swift boot in the box for me. Trust me she deserves it.

Here kitty kitty