Hippity Hoppity Easter's On Its Way

Well Easter is quickly approaching (and we all know what that means - The Ten Commandments will be on TV this weekend), so I'll spare you the bit about the Catholic Church co opting a Pagan festival/celebration to Eostre to make it easier for non-believers and other general heathens to sign on for their celebration of resurrection of everybody's favourite Jewish, hippy carpenter.

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I'll also resist the urge to make any wisecracks about Zombie Jesus.

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When I was a kid finding chocolates and eggs left behind by the Easter Bunny (now I prefer Fluff E the Hip Hop Bunny) was cool, but man it was a lot of work . . . and I honestly never clued in to anything when my folks would say there's more stuff to find when I thought I was done. Yeah I can be a little thick at times . . . still.

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Also in the last year I've had to explain, or at least talk about, Ukrainian Easter Eggs to two different people. As odd as it might seem and despite the fact that I'd always known about them and had them around me growing up, apparently not everyone is familiar with these tiny works of art.

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Who knew that not everyone had Ukrainian roots? Even if you don't do yourself a favour and enjoy some perogies, cabbage rolls and kubasa if you haven't already. Take my word on that.

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But enough of that for now, I gotta go get ready. Seven things to do today, seven things to do, can't stray from the list, seven things to do today.

Let's get ready get our geek on folks

As we're all aware Steampunk is wicked awesome and this steampunk Stormtrooper Helmet, Boba Fett and Princess Leia are fine examples of the genre. Now that's way cooler than these crochet Star Wars characters (but they are cool in their own right, just not as cool) don't you think?

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If you're down with the steampunk you should check out China Mieville's novels Perdido Street Station, The Scar and Iron Council. Not only are the really good books by a good and imaginative author set in a very unique world, they have a great steampunk flavour going on in them.

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I can't explain why, but I think steampunk is awesome. It probably appeals to me for the reason(s) as rat rods (how could you not want to drive one or two yourself - the car perv, but hey Rock-a-betty chicks aren't so bad either), Dickies and bowling shirts do.

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Oh and a little more for the Star Wars fans out there - in case you needed any more proof that George Lucas hates you but loves your money (even if it needs to get funneled from your wallet to him through your kids) apparently he'd like to make a Jedi Babies series, because we all remember how awesome the Muppet Babies were.

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Since I've knocked you down some, it's only fair that I build you back up with these awesome Star Wars pics. Almost makes up for that last link don't it?

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Ever wonder what Stormtroopers do on their day off? Yeah me either, but here's the answers anyway. Pretty cool n'est pas? I think we're about even for the Jedi Babies thing, right?

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And finally I will leave you with a little bit of time travel awesome.

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And with that I'm outta here.

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PS - looks like everyone's favourite bounty hunter has fallen on some hard, but awesome, times. Check it out for yourself.

How Fairy Tales Really End

The Little Mermaid
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Snow White

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Sleeping Beauty

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Little Red Riding Hood

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Jasmine (Aladdin)

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Cinderella

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Belle (Beauty & the Beast)
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Help Me Help Somone

This is what I typically would put in here, but hell gotta switch it up every now and again, eh?

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Anyway a friend of mine has been selected to be one of the Leaders taking one of the two West Sussex contingents of Scouts to the 22nd World Scouting Jamboree being held in 2011 in Sweden. Apparently there's a lot of cost (time, training, money) involved in pulling off something like this so if you're interested you can help them raise some money while doing your online shopping and not spend a penny more (well unless you have to pay kah-razy shipping costs because we're talking about something based out of the UK) than you already are.

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Anyway the West Sussex World Scout Jamboree Unit A is registered with these guys who have over 2000 online retailers signed on so they've got just about everything you could want to buy, or so I've been told.

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So go to the website and complete all the required information to register as a user and where you have to enter the Charity/cause/organization remember it's:

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West Sussex World Scout Jamboree Unit A

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Check out the terms and conditions and if you're agreeable to them check the box at the bottom of the form and click on the big Register button at the bottom of the form, then go get your shop on. Just remember to log in before you start the process so the scout troupe can get their money.

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Apparently after you long in you can also use a search engine that will also help raise money for these fine folks . . . and before you ask no I'm not just doing this because of a girl scout uniform fetish.

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Thanks for at least thinking about this.

Come in and burn

As if there's any other kind but check out this great interview with the aging alternative icon himself, none other than Henry Rollins where he talks about many things, among them why we'll never see a Black Flag reunion, which is one of them good and bad all at the same time things, if you ask me . . . and I know you didn't but you're here so you must want to know what I think.

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Right?

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Well we've had an early spring here, and according to the Weather Network it's not going to last, but I'll take it, most of the snow is melted out of my yard, we had temperatures in the double digits on the weekend and I was out on my bike both days. Not too bad for mid-March in Sunset Country, eh?

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The warm weather will mean the animals will start coming out of the bush again, so maybe you're in the market for a new set of bull bars for your truck. If so have a look at the offerings from Herd Integrated Vehicle Protection. If you put some spikes on them they'd look just like something straight out of Mad Max (and brother I don't mean Thunderdome) and don't forget to check out the product testimonials.

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Oh and don't forget to burn.

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PS - Happy Birthday Mr. Erik Estrada

It's Battlestar Galactic-touge

If you're cool, and I know you are because you're here, you're into The Beastie Boys and Battlestar Galactica, and brothers and sisters let me tell you, you're in luck because right here is the finest (okay only but it's still pretty bad ass) mash up of the B-Boys Sabotage with footage from BSG, complete with the original video and a sweet side by side comparison of the original and the mash up.

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As the French say "C'est tres sweet.".

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Now it's no secret that I like me some tea, and I'm thinking that with commercials and a mascot like this PG Tips has to be one fine cuppa, don't you agree?

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And well this is just a completely different sort of monkey, but I really think he should be sporting a smoking jacket and fez, but that's me.

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And while we're rocking some sweet monkey action, how's about what might be the finest episode of Monkey News from The Ricky Gervais Show ever.

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All monkeyed out? Yeah me either, but let's move onto something else for a minute or two shall we?

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So cool. So much awesome. So much win. It's epic.

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And lastly in honour of the 30th anniversary of John Wayne Gacy's conviction for the murder of 33 men and boys here's an evil clown generator. Use at your own risk.

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Until next blog.

Time, time, got the time of day, day

Tickin' in my head! Tickin' in my head!

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Always being on the look out for all things awesome here are couple of items that I thought might do well in the Willow of the Wood's shop, especially after the sin that was the teacup clock. The first one is the Redundant Clock. Cool eh? And probably hard to read after a night on the lash.

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The next interesting time piece is the Aspiral Clock that has no hands, is just a spiral that slowly rotates and has balls that set at the bottom of the spiral and marks the time. Very cool eh?

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While we're talking time, I've recently purchased another new watch; I had bought a nice Timex (well okay nice for a Timex) watch and had the crown snap off when adjusting the time. It was returned and replaced and a couple months later the same thing happened again. So I'm planning to send the watch back, but let's fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, so I went out and ended up buying a new Fossil watch. And up until now I've only ever owned Timex watches. Maybe never again?

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I think the watch might almost be too cool for me, but hey it works and it looks nice and hopefully it won't fall apart on me . . . and it's got the backing of an 11 year warranty (according to the sales girl anyway). I'll just have to remember not to wear it when I'm doing things will result in it being smashed to shit.

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Now I'm not in the market for a room mate, but maybe some of you are, so here's a lesson in how to rent out your extra room. I don't know about you but I'm sold.

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And you know I'm not sure where my sweet beard falls, but it sure is nice to know there's a gauge out there for me now.

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Now here's a place where I could really spend some quality time.

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Until next time.

That's Gotta Hoit

Nothing makes a kid feel better about themselves than seeing other people commit some truly epic fails, and this video from Funny or Die (or FoD as the cool kids call it) is chock full of them. Get your wince reflex ready. If you'd like to check some local fail content viddy this one.

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If that's not your thing maybe checking out six and a half minutes of kah-razy motorcycle trail riding; awesome scenery but I don't know that I'd be dirt biking there - but maybe I'm just a big pussy.

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These Savage Chicken cartoons (done on Post-It Notes) really tickled my funny bone and I think you might like as well. And while we're talking about Savage Chickens, check out this article about Sheriff's Deputies seizing over 600 chickens in a Southern California raid that authorities were being used for cock fighting.

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Since it doesn't appear that any celebrities were involved and people don't care about chickens as much as dogs don't expect this to get a whole lot of media coverage.

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On the tool front, think of all the troubles you could escape from and problems you could solve if you only had this in your tool box . . . and maybe a roll of duct tape and a Swiss army knife . . . and a sweet mullet, don't forget the mullet.

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Well I gotta go, but before I do, I must ask . . . Are you ready?

Lousy Smarch Weather

Actually that's not entirely true, the weather has been aces here lately.

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But, hey another month another post, we'll see if we can be any more regular about stopping by here, but no promises. Remember you get what you pay for.

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It's no secret that there are demons that live in my head and cause me no end of grief and pain, but whenever I hear someone say "Oh I had a migraine once." I want to poke them in the eye with hot poker. Migraine isn't a one off and it's not Latin for "bad headache"; but maybe this article comparing the myth and reality of migraines will help. If it doesn't I did find it an interesting read.

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It's a sad sad day and the end of an era, the Alamo Village from the John Wayne Alamo movie is shut down and for sale. I never visited there, and never tried to either, but you have to admit it would be a cool stop on a road trip?

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I wonder if Peewee's bike is in the basement?

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Maybe Mr. E.T. could save the place, he pities the foo' that won't let him phone home.

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No matter, but perhaps this video will make you happy to learn that it doesn't just happen to fat guys.

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Until next time, Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

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PS - Still need.