Let's Get Ready to Ruuuuuuuuuummmmbbbblllllleeeeee!

Good news everybody - according to this website I could take 26 five year olds in a fight (how many could you take?), yeah you read that right, 26 of the little snot nosed buggers. With school starting up here in town next week maybe I'll go and take a kindergarten class on. You know to make me feel good about myself and feel like a big man. Oh and you know I'd totally use one as club - after all they're too short to be polearms and aren't aerodynamic enough to be missile weapons.

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I'm sure some of my success in battling said 26 (that's one for every letter of the alphabet - think how awesome it would be if I could get 26 kids each with a name starting with a different letter of the alphabet to fight, I think it would add a nice Sesame Street like quality to the event, and then to top it off the Count could count up the pile of battered kids) is due to the information I got from reading this quality article explaining how to win a fight against 20 children. Those last six, it's all me baby.

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I know you're impressed, aren't you?

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Maybe my kindergarten battle royal could be the main event to round out an evening of sweet Daycare Thunderdome action. Oh yeah Daycare Thunderdome is real, just check out this article on the topic where police say that a Dad gave kids weapons and encouraged them to fight each other for his amusement. I'm pretty sure I'd watch, at least for a little while anyway. Don't judge you would too, I'll just admit it.

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I wonder who the Patron Saint of Fighting Kids is? I don't readily see it on this list, but it seems that there's no shortage of Patron Saints for Children and looks like Saint Sebastian is the Patron Saint of Athletes, so perhaps it would be some sort of amalgam or Voltron of Saints who would protect the toddling gladiators as they punch, kick, scratch and smash their way into our hearts.

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While we're discussing Patron Saints, how about Cracked's list of the 8 most bizarre Patron Saints. Amazing eh? And if you look at the list I posted up above there you'll see that there's a Patron Saint for everything and everyone. So if you happen to be Christian or flexible in faith there'll always be someone to look over your shoulder or who's medallion you can wear for a little extra added protection.

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I'm plucking content from Cracked again, but here's a nice collection of 25 historic events as depicted by five year olds. There's some really funny stuff there . . . and I could take each one of the kids who "did" those pictures plus one more. I should totally add that to my resume, I'm that would impress some people.

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Well that's it for today - gotta get in training for my winner takes all battle against a local kindergarten class next week . . . maybe I could make it a charity event. Until next time.