Is Spring Going to Take This Time?

Good morning iPhriends, how's it going? The sun is shining brightly and it stopped snowing yesterday around dinner time, although there was a thick frost on everything when I got up this morning . . . but let's hope winter had its last hurrah for a while. I've had my fill. It's nearly May and I still have the heat on.

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I *finally* got to see the Watchmen film Friday night at our local theatre and let me tell you it was worth the wait. I think they did a very good job of translating the books to the screen and look forward to purchasing the DVD release with up to one extra hour of footage.

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If you seen the Watchmen I think you'd have to agree that Jackie Earle Haley, the man who played Rorschach in that film (and Kelly in the Bad News Bears), he'll make for a great, and much darker, Freddy Krueger in the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street reboot (according to this he is anyway).

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Oh and those of you are interested how's about some pics of Malin Akkerman (the actress who played the Silk Spectre II in the film) forgetting the rule about wearing gitch under your skirt, especially when getting in and out of automobiles and you're famous and people like to take pictures of you.

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You know I'm always planning for World War Z and think that it would be in your best interest if you did as well, because well you know I care. So what's your zombie contingency plan? If you haven't come up with one on your own yet perhaps you can read these 11 examples and you can work on your own. You know better to be prepared, like the boy scouts say "Hope for the best and prepare for the worst."

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And finally a happy 83rd birthday to author Harper Lee . . . would you believe I've never read her To Kill a Mockingbird? And yes I did in fact graduate from high school. Go figure.

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That's her for today, until next time.

Words to live by

Never piss off someone who owns a backhoe.
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See?

How high's the water momma?

Maybe you've been busy living under a rock or taking bets on which of the Big 3 declares bankruptcy first but there are other things going on, like southern Manitoba flooding. Oh the glamour and excitement of living in flood plain.

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Seeing these pictures makes me think that yeah, Manitoba could have been the bottom of an ancient inland sea . . . and holy mosquitos, when things start to warm up and dry up.

I'll put this into the boy I'm glad it's not me files.

Happy Earth Day Yo

As far as I know today is Earth Day. If you're anything like me you're going to celebrate by driving to work in a V8 (and no I haven't modified my hippy mobile to run on shitty tasting vegetable cocktail) powered vehicle a distance that can be easily walked in under ten minutes. But hopefully you're a better person than I am. I'm sure local school kids will be out picking garbage (if that's not too dangerous for your precious little snowflakes to do anymore) today which is a good thing because in this town it seems there's a general wide held misconception that throw away coffee cups from Timmy Ho's (which have travelled at least 60 miles from the nearest store to get here, how's that for a carbon foot print?), Robin's Donuts and (gasp) yes even Roy Lane are completely biodegradable and/or provide excellent shelter for the elusive Northwestern Ontario Land Hermit Crab so they tossed where ever the cup is emptied.

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I guess it could be worse, after all it could be 6 pack yolks.

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No matter, in honour of the day here's a slide show showing some of Mother Nature's best ideas (our weather as of late is not even close to being on this list) and how the most advanced (and hairless) apes on the planet are doing their best to mimic them for our own profit & gain. The bit about the termite mounds is pretty interesting.

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And you know when it comes to the environment not everything sounds bad is bad, like until reading this I had no idea that toxic lakes were good things, or at least could be for migraine sufferers.

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And well you gotta show both sides of the story, maybe, well okay you do when it supports your cause I suppose, but here's an interesting article talking about the downsides of green jobs, like how the cost over 2 jobs somewhere else . . . but as long as that somewhere else isn't your somewhere else, who cares, right?

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And oh yeah if you've ever fancied a peek at Joss Stone's shiny giny here's your chance. Yeah I know it doesn't have anything to do with Earth Day, but the pics are from Coachella so I'm sure there were a lot of soap dodging granola munchers there.

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And finally, happy birthday to Bettie Page and Marilyn Chambers . . . think of all self gratification that those two ladies inspired during their careers.

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Until next time.

If I Sent My Kids to School . . .

. . . I think I'd want to enroll them in one of the fine schools in Portage la Prairie after seeing this picture.
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I think I overslept . . . until October

First off let me open with "Fuck this weather, fuck it in its stupid ass". I've had enough of this, and we're not flooding out or anything, just 3/4's the way through April still with snow on the ground, and oh yeah some of it's nice and fresh. Ah well maybe a pic of Jenn Aniston topless will chase away the weather related blues.

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Did you know/realise that today is the 10th anniversary of the Columbine High School shooting rampage? If you're rocking this sweet shirt from T Shirt Hell you probably already knew that though. Oh how time flies, eh? And now this has become part of culture and language.

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Also if you haven't heard legendary (??) porn star and Ivory Snow box model Marilyn Chambers was found dead at age 56 in her trailer home. More here if you're interested. At one time I had a copy of Behind the Green Door on VHS . . . I don't recall anything about so either I didn't watch it (unlikely) or it wasn't that stand out.

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And here's some interesting news for the (non-Somali type) pirates (learn the shocking truth about pirates here) out there - the four founders of The Pirate Bay have been sentenced to one year in prison for copyright infringement. You can read more about it here, but don't fret about the Pirate Bay going down, I hear Google is just as good as anything else for searching out the torrents.

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You know I haven't been too sure about where to go on holiday next, but after seeing this maybe Cyprus is in order?

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And oh yeah, Happy Birthday Adi and happy 4/20 to my stoner readers out there.

What's the best part of a long weekend?

The short week that follows.

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Yeah so I made it through the Easter weekend, which I'm lucky enough to have four days off for, how'd you fair? It might be a little late, but here's an interesting list of ten things you didn't know about Easter from Time. But where's Eostre?

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In keeping with the season, here's a list of 7 things from pop culture that apparently piss Jesus off. And no I don't think they mean that dude from Old Mexico who takes care of your lawn.

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Keeping with the religious theme, dare you look into the flaming pit of hell? It's horrible and not appropriate for work. But don't say I didn't warn you.

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Now I just have to wonder, where do you get that done, and how do you start that conversation with the guy on the other side of the counter?

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If you still watch Saturday Night Live you might have already seen this sketch the other weekend, but if you are still watching SNL, I have to ask is it worth it? Before Tina Fey left if I was watching I'd flip over to NBC around 11 (that's central time) knowing that weekend update was going to be on shortly after that, then stop watching after that. After Tina Fey left, I stopped watching . . . but then funny thing, I've never watched a single episode of her new show 30 Rock. Go figure.

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You know I think it's true, cats don't care.

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Thanks to this sweet gear now any kid can blow up the Death Star. Combine that stuff with your Taun Taun sleeping bag and you'll the coolest kid camping out on the sidewalk waiting to get into the next Star Wars Celebration (that's celebration, not convention, apparently they're touchy about that shit) to hear Billy Dee Williams ramble aimlessly/incoherently about waist versus full length capes and whether or not Colt 45 really works every time. Well okay maybe not the coolest kid, but you'll be cooler than these people, that I can promise.

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Maybe you'd be better off with this Death Star on your camp out, if times get tough you can always eat it before feasting on the tender well marbled flesh of your compatriots.

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You know, I'm a fan of concerts, I loves me some live music . . . I have to say that one thing I've never done is crowd surf, doubt I ever will, but I've pass people along and thrown people up on top of the crowd, but I don't know if any of those experiences top these. I don't know about you, but this one is a personal favourite.

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And I will sign off today with something that does my heart good to see. Enjoy.

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Until next time.

Dear World, I'm sorry

You know, I always figured I was partly responsible, but it looks like I'm even more liable than I had even dared think in the past and now thanks to this article the cats really out of the bag. Thanks for spilling the beans Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva. Seems that Brazil's president blames blue eyed honkeys for the world's current economic crisis.

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Again I'm sorry, I'm trying to make things better, but the man, aka Barack Obama is keeping me down.

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At least you can say I'm not at responsible for this . . . and of course no one in their right mind would think a deer was responsible for it either, would they?

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Hey, here's an article with a good reason to go back to Oz . . . okay well I guess it's two reasons really . . . big reasons.

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Speaking of Oz, according to this the Sidney Ritz-Carlton has shut its doors. That might not mean anything to you, but if you're a crazed INXS/Micheal Hutchence fan you're lamenting the fact that you never got to be in the building where the former INXS front man ended his life with a belt on the back of a door. Me I got to ride past in a hearse and look out the windows at it.

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And just in case you've got an unhealthy attraction to that hot cousin that you get to see every other Christmas, this article might be a good reason to go to Romania. Or France or Spain or Portugal. You know they're right, just because something's immoral doesn't mean it should be illegal . . . but damn.

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And oh yeah apparently the children of cousins are not only have a greater risk of having multiple heads and tails, but also have a greater risk of catching infectious diseases and playing the banjo on a porch swing.

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Apparently incest isn't that uncommon in nature, but then again so is eating your young, so let's not sue that as a defence for the fact that you think a family reunion is a great place to score chicks.

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Well I'm outta here for now.

A Quick Joke

A blonde goes into the cleaners & drops off a blouse to be dry-cleaned.

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As she's leaving, the man behind the counter says, 'Come again.'

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The blonde stops and says, 'No, it's mustard this time.'

Were you an April Fool?

I think I made it through unscathed, although you might think that meeting about there being a new employment policy at work yesterday going into effect that day, but that there weren't copies available for us at the moment, could have been an April Fool's prank . . . but it wasn't. That's just how it is.

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Breaking news! Santa was arrested. For what I don't know, but here's the mugshot.

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It's no secret I love cover tunes, I'm telling you that all the time, well a Ukrainian band took Katy Perry's Hot N Cold and turned it into this, which is pure unadulterated win in my humble opinion.

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This one was too good not to share, and it'll make you think twice before you take a bologna sammich from anyone who's giggling even a little.

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Speaking of bologna, did you know that apparently lobster is the new bologna? Yeah sure pull on the other one, it's got bells. I'll believe that when I can get a pound of lobster in the deli for under $2.

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There's no mention of how to get the cock out of your bologna sammich, but here's a cool collection of the top 25 food hacks (that's what they're calling them). Here's one for the Survivorman.

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And here's some good news for people in TO - street meat there is going to be getting a whole lot better, or at least wider in variety, downside is you'll have to be in Toronto . . . and believe you me a kebab on the way home from the boozer is fantastic . . . and don't be cheap with the garlic in mine thanks. Oh and meat pies for breakfast . . . to die for. Beef & cheese pie from a bakery on a street that leads to the beach at 7 in the morning in Byron Bay was easily the best pie I've ever had ever.

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And this one is for the Willow (who's been sending some regular traffic my way as of late, thanks for that, it's probably due to Where the Wild Things Are and not because her readership is changing to sci-fi reading, cartoon watching, car loving, action figure collecting, pin-up obsessed geeks, but maybe?) . . . or maybe it's this one . . . I can't remember. Oh perhaps you were expecting this instead?

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And that's her for today, if anyone sees Mother Nature, give that old biddy a swift boot in the box for me. Trust me she deserves it.

Here kitty kitty

Monday monday

Hmmm once again I find myself listening to Iced Earth and wondering what to talk about this morning, so it's likely going to be all over the map again . . . so let's start out with a bit of a point to make . . . the local paper is often thin on stuff to put in it, I mean it's not every week that you can slip in an advert thinly disguised as an article for a local merchant (BTW where's the story about the new candy store in town?) but the March 25 edition went into great detail with an almost daily breakdown of the local OPP detachment's call out stats for the March Break week.

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Normally the paper won't print anything controversial or negative about the town, but if you were passing through or just happened to pick up a paper and look at it, you would think that was run of the mill and only contribute to the sometimes ill informed perception that many have of this town, but this week they chose to do something a little different I suppose. I just think it's looks bad for the town and the residents of the town, or maybe this is going to be a regularly weekly section in the paper, but I've got my doubts. It was probably a one off because the local OPP detachment sent the paper a press release with the information in it.

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But that's just me, what do I know . . . well okay maybe don't answer that right now.

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And for something a little less serious, here's a collection of the most embarrassing photos from last year. The picture of you passed out on the toilet is strangely absent.

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If you're here you've got a computer and odds are it's a PC, so here's an article with some fast fixes for common PC problems . . . but remember the first to try is always rebooting the computer. Don't ask why, just do.

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Ever wonder what the Mona Lisa would look like if she were painted by other artists, well wonder no longer, here it is.

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While we're on the topic of art, how's about a sweet video showing 500 Years of Female Portraits in Western Art. The music it's set to is Bach's Sarabande from Suite for Solo Cello No. 1 in G Major, performed by Yo-Yo Ma.

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Everybody who's cool likes comics, and you're here so you must be cool, therefore you too like comics . . . so you're in luck because here's a collection of the 50 greatest WTF moments in comics. BTW here's a definition of WTF in case you aren't in the know.

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It's no secret that I loves me some cover tunes, so here's a nice collection of some of the oddest on the net. But if you're into covers and think the ring-a-ding-ding lounge lizard rat pack vibe is where it's at check out one Mr. Richard Cheese, trust me, you won't be disappointed.

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And I will sign off with is possibly the best warning sign ever.

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Until next time.

Loud & Clear Good Buddy, Loud & Clear

I want my BSG

Morning all . . . what to talk about today, well if you didn't know there's a live action film adaptation of Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are coming out this October. You can check out the trailer for it on the Youtubes here if you're so inclined. I know this is a must see film for me . . . the book was always one of the greats, and I still want a pair of those sweet pajamas that Max had, but after hearing it read at a friend's funeral it became a whole lot more powerful for me.

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Let's hope the don't Transformers this one, eh?

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So what's a geek to do on a Friday night without BSG? I'm at a loss, but I'm sure it'll involved sitting in front of a flickering screen of one type or another.

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For some reason the Teeny Little Super Guy from Sesame Street just popped into my head. Talk about random eh? Well I guess he does just pop right up before your eyes. There's a bunch of videos on Youtube here if you're interested in a little childhood reminiscing.

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After reading this Calvin & Hobbes comic I've come to realise that they prophets of our age and I think I should look into getting more Calvin & Hobbes books to better prepare myself for the rest of what life might have in store for me. You can check out a 30 day archive of the C&H comics here if you need a little boy and his tiger story fix. Although the comic stopped over ten years ago, it still has one of the finest goodbyes I've ever seen and one helluva a fine piece of advice for life, don't you agree?

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And finally I think I'll destroy a little bit of your childhood . . . we all know there's a GI Joe movie coming out this summer right? And we're all hoping that it won't be as bad as we think it's going to be right? We'll kids there's nothing left to hope for because now that Cobra Commander has been revealed I don't see how they're going to be able to save this movie. Check it out here for yourself, if you dare.

And the band didn't play on

It was today in 1942 that the Nazis started shipping Jews to Auschwitz.

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In other related news the original plans for the camp were found in a Berlin apartment. You can read about it here, and see the plans themselves and some words in German here. I think there'd be something strange and powerful I think about holding those plans in your hands . . . and I thought it was pretty cool when I got my hands on plans for the old Catholic school here in town.

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And I can take some pleasure in knowing that I can draft better than the Nazi's Leindraftencorps. Ubermensch mein ass!

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I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again, if you haven't read Maus, do yourself a favour and do it.

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In other sad news surrounding this place Auschwitz Museum is struggling to preserve the site as nature is reclaiming it. You can read more about it here if you're so inclined. I suppose it's too much to expect something hastily built as a temporary facility to stand the ravages of time and nature. I haven't been there but i surely hope that they can pull it off and save this place. Not every museum has to be a happy place.

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Well that's it for today - I'm sure we'll get back to our more regularly scheduled programing next time.

Things and stuff

I read this article about a couple of deaths that came from someone starting to take apart a construction crane while people were still using it, and it being, well at least partially, blamed on lack of training. You know it's not the lack of training that had this cat taking the bolts holding everything together while it was still in use, it was the over abundance of stupid.

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Trust me on that one, if you're old enough to turn a wrench and haven't figured out that gravity makes things fall down go boom, fuck you don't even have to know it's gravity, and you haven't figured out that eventually things fall to ground, there's no hope for you.

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Meh what can you do eh? And all the really stupid people in the world make the rest of us look a whole lot better, don't they?

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Oh hey are you a fan Jessica Biel (not to be confused with Jennifer Beals)? Are you a fan of Jessica Biel's boobs? Well you're in luck, here you go. She's no Dita Von Teese is she, but to each their own. And well Dita just wanted to be Bettie Page when she grew up . . . not that there's anything wrong with that.

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Since we're talking boobs, this art project will blow your mind.

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And moving on . . . if this article is right I'm fucked. Proper fucked. Better wait three weeks until the study showing that high doses of ibuprofen reduces the risk of heart attack. And this one doesn't bode to well either. No well, what can you do eh?

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After reading this article you can stroke having sex with koalas from that list . . . the dirty STD infected whores.

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But maybe after reading this you'll be a lot more interested in visiting Oslo than you were before . . . although after checking this out you might want to lay off the drugs a little.

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And finally here's an unrequested plug for a friend of a friend's tool selling website , go there and buy some shit and maybe if I send enough business their way I'll get me some cool new tools . . . like there's any other kind.

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PS - Charlie still don't surf.

This about sums it up

Big Bruthah is Warching You, Mate

I don't know about you, but I find this offensive and cause for concern, seems that our laid back, stubby drinking, 'Roo ramming, ute driving mates down under (or at least their elected officials) are planning to censor the entire interwebs for the whole of the country.

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The whole of the proposed list is supposed to be available online at WikiLeaks but the site won't load up for me. If you're interested in checking out give it a go and lemme know how it is. Apparently the websites on the banned list run the gamut with everything from kiddie porn to online poker to a dentist . .. oh and apparently WikiLeaks itself. To me this is too much, I don't think that government should step in and censor something like this in the name of the children (oh dear Gord won't someone think of the childrens!).

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If a country who's supposed to be all about freedom of choice and G'Day Mates and tossing shrimps on the barbie wants to join to ranks of countries like China who are filtering the internet for the good of their people, who's next? We're awfully regulated here in Canada, so let's hope the Right Honourable Stephen Harper doesn't start to think this is a good idea and lock down our interwebs. After all we are the true north strong and free.

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If you've got kids you're likely a parent, act like one. Teach your kids something about something other than pissing and moaning and how everyone gets a gold star. If you instill the right values into them they'll be all right and even if they do come across this stuff on the internet, by accident or on purpose, they'll still turn out all right. Or if you are a parent and you think this is the way to go don't filter out my internet, put some cyber nanny net filetering software on your own computer. The government shouldn't be raising your kids, you should be.

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I mean if the government came along and mandated what your kids would wear and what you'd feed them and when you'd hit the fucking roof. Unless of course they also paid for it, then I'm sure a lot of parents would be cool with it, whatever, after all WoW ain't going to play itself, bars won't stay open without thirsty patrons and if you don't stuff money in a stripper's cleavage, who will?

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Oh yeah and if you're a kid who hasn't figured out Google yet, you're hopeless and your parents probably don't need to lock out anything on the net, but just in case this is apparently how you disable the cyber nanny software your mum put on the computer.

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I didn't grow up with the internet, and maybe that's a good thing. I know it meant I had to go to this building full of things called books to look stuff up called a Library when I wanted informaton on something, and I used to buy things called magazines to keep up on current news and happenings . . . and it really would have hacked the bottom out of the value of those grainy VHS tapes of porn recorded off the big dish that everyone had stashed somewhere.

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No well, so it goes. Anyway since we're sorta in that vein already, how about some cool old Soviet Union propaganda posters? I'm not quite sure what it is but I'm a big fan of propaganda posters in general, maybe not always their message (when I can read it) but there's something about the style of them, the art, the window into a past way of thinking or the window in the past's way of trying to convince someone to think your way that I really find appealing.

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And in case you're wondering no I'm not designing my own . . . yet.

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Until next time Comrades.

I'll get you next time Gadget, next time . . .

Well if you're anything like me, and if you have any hopes of being awesome it'd be in your best interest to be, you have spent and still spend a good chunk of your television viewing on cartoons. If you animate, I'll try to watch it . . . anyway remember Inspector Gadget? And no I don't mean the film with Matthew Broderick or the really crummy sequel with that squinty guy from 3rd Rock from the Sun, the animated TV series with the Inspector voiced by Don Adams of Get Smart fame.

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Anyway back to the matter at hand I'm sure you recall how in the cartoon you never saw Dr. Claw's face, only his claw and the back of his chair . . . and if you were anything like me you always figured there was some episode of the show that showed his face and you just never caught it. Well that might still be the case, but I doubt it so stop wasting your time watching the reruns and read on fair reader read on . . . seems that in the early 90's a toy company released a Dr. Claw action figure, that after you opened the package revealed his face. Wait wait wait, don't go scouring eBay for it just yet, you can check it out here if you're interested.

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So now that you've had a look at it, is it just me or the picture of Dr. Claw you had in your head completely different from the action figure? Big ups for packaging the action figure with MAD Cat though.

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Read more of about the face of Claw here . . . guess I'm not the first geek with an Internet connection to be let down by this revelation.

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No matter, but that does segue nicely into Cracked's list of 7 Badass Cartoon Villains who Lost to Retarded Heroes doesn't it?

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Is it just me or is this the coolest business card ever? Yeah you want some now too, don't you?

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And now for something a little different, how about Kermit the Frog singing NIN's Hurt/spoofing Cash's video for the song? Pretty cool eh? If you know the guy who posted that particular video whack him with a stick for me not realising that Cash covered the tune, albeit his version is way better than Trent Reznor's original in my humble opinion. Watching Cash's video, it's just so much more powerful . . . or maybe I'm just a soppy git.

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And while we're rocking the amphibian vibe, how's about Kermit covering Radiohead's Creep. God I loves me a good cover tune.

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And finally, I'd like for you to read this article and tell me that my fear of horses is unfounded.

One more time

Yeah been slacking about putting stuff up here again . . . I guess I've been busier more important things? Yeah I hate to say it, but sometimes it happens. No matter I'm back here today, and after all it's quality, not quantity, right? So let's have at it . . . since it is March Break and I'm not heading down to South Padre Island or anything like that.

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This video came highly recommended, and all I have to say is what is that kid on and where can I get some?

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I'm sure I've mentioned here before that the film Hellraiser is being redone, and this time with input from Clive Barker, the man who wrote the novella that the film was based on. So hopefully it will have more of the original story in it than what the first film did, although that movie was pretty cool, which probably had a lot to do with Doug Bradley's portrayal of Pinhead.

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Speaking of here's a first look at the new Pinhead for the new film . . . different but the similar. I won't pass judgement until I see it in context.

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From the current quasi-celebrity news file, or obits page I guess, former WWe wrestler Test aka Andrew Martin died just recently, you can read more about it here, but there isn't much info out there yet. But let's see . . . pro wrestler, early 30's, dead in apartment . . . I'm going with the classic heart attack from steroid and coke use that is oh so prevalent amongst his profession.

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One of the better parts of a great book was when Roddy Piper made dedicated the book to all the guys he used to work with who weren't there anymore, and listed them and there was a lot, maybe more than you'd think. You'd think these guys would figure this shit out, but I guess the ride is good enough that you don't complain about it being short.

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In music news infamous Norwegian Black Metal icon, former Burzum front man and church burner Varg Vikernes is being released from prison after serving his term for the murder of Mayhem guitarist Øystein Aarseth aka Euronymous. If you're interested you can read more about it here. Several years ago I met someone who had spoken with Varg on the phone from prison and what should come as no surprise is that he's very charismatic. Welcome back to society Varg, try to be good this go around, eh?

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If you'd like to learn more about the Black Metal scene I'd recommend you read Lords of Chaos, it's a really good read, a little grim at times, but worthwhile.

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And I'll sign off with another must see movie, Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead. Take a look at that title and the website and tell me it's not screaming win.

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And now for some real news . . . check out this article and this one with photos of a suicide bomb blast going off in Sri Lanka outside a mosque while people were celebrating Mawlid, the birthday of the Prophet Mohammed. Be warned the pictures although they are frames from a video are pretty grim, and I don't mean the caught the aftermath of the explosion, they got the bomb going off.

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So was it worth the wait? It better have been. Until next time.