Is Going to Blame it on the Train

Yeah I'm back with another short but sweet one.

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Maybe you're in the market for a 2010 Camaro, and if you are you might want to have a look at the 68 point dealer delivery checklist, you know so you can give the car a good once over with the common problems they're having with this car, like broken transmission output shafts. Although since that same tranny is used in several other sports cars it's more likely a bad batch of transmissions than a problem with that transmission as a whole.

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I still love my Camaro, but the 2010 has mine beat hands down power and performance wise. But I guess that's the difference between three and four hundred horsepower eh?

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Now let's shift gears from awesome cars to awesome actors, and how can you get more awesome than Mickey Rourke? I mean this is the man who told Iron Man 2 Director Jon Favreau that he wanted his character in the film to get drunk and argue with his pet parrot, or at least according to this he did. Told you he was awesome, but wait it gets better.

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Seems that recently while partying in London he ended up with a statue of Christ (and who hasn't?) and punching the shit out of a traffic barrier (and who hasn't wanted to?). Good times, good times. But it gets better, check out the top 7 awesome things that you didn't know about Mickey.

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And now this is a must share bit of movie news, even if it doesn't involve Mr. Rourke, but here's the trailer for Tim Burton's production of Alice in Wonderland starring none other than Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. I'm looking forward to this film, Burton & Depp are great at what they do and when they do it together it's even better and the Alice in Wonderland stories are great, even if they were written by a man with an unhealthy attraction to little girls for a little girl. But that being said, do read the books.

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And I will sign off today with what just might be the best power ballad EVAR.

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Until next time.

Happy Birthday Hoff

If you didn't know today is David Hasselhoff's 57th birthday. I can only speak for myself here but I'd go party with Lady Gaga (who looks nothing what I pictured her looking like) like he did, maybe they were celebrating the Hoff's birthday early.

Can't Stop the Red Red Croovy

Did you know that Heinz has been selling their ketchup (remember how revolutionary the squeeze bottle was when it came out?) in Canada for 100 years now? Well according to them they have (I can only vouch for the last 30 or so years personally) and to celebrate and to thank Cannucks for slathering this oh so popular condiment on nearly everything imaginable they cooked up this recipe for ketchup cake (trust me the recipe's there, scroll down a bit).

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If you make it let me know how it is. Or better yet bring over a piece to share with me. After all if it weren't for me you wouldn't have cooked up the ketchup cake to begin with, now would you?

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Ever wonder how cops should celebrate national police week (yeah apparently there is such a thing, I'm waiting for national big fat geek day . . . oh wait I think there is something like that but we've get a four day weekend with more boner inspiring costumery)? I used to wonder that too and then I read this article and now I know, it's by doing all the things that they were arresting people for the rest of the year. It's like Bizarro World, only less fun because it's real . . . and I doubt that the criminals go around arresting ne'er do wells during that time.

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And finally I'd like congratulate Winnipeg on holding its title of largest Slurpee consuming market ten year's running . . . and hey you can actually put that on a sign as you enter the city unlike when you were the murder capitol of Canada.

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Until next time.

Rock you like a hurricane

Or like a tornado to be more precise. If you haven't heard yet late last week the not quite nearby but in the region town of Ear Falls was stuck by a tornado which killed two men from Oklahoma (how's that for shitty luck? You leave Tornado Alley in the US and go on holiday to an area where tornado's are rumours and things that happen on the news and you're killed by one? I guess when it's your time it's your time) and as of my last researching one man was still missing.

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You can check out some video from The Weather Network or an article here or here on the topic. I'm glad that tornadoes remain something that are on the news for me . . . give me 40 below instead anytime . . . and I think you'd say the same too, unless of course you're aware of something that I am not like tornado proof mittens or something.

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Onto something completely unrelated, I've never really understood the attraction to the shiny giny (I figure it's some sorta attraction to youth or similarly pedo or maybe it's just so you swim faster) but he folks over at Playboy have taken the time classify the hair down there (their term not mine) into a rather in depth hierachy assumably so everyone is using the vernacular when discussing such things and/or taking bets on the amount or style of pubic hair on the next stripper to grace the stage at your local titty bar. Why even Ginger Spice is taking the time to check to see which category she falls into.

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While we're on the topic of Playboy, I'm sure everyone has fantasized about doing the no pants dance with a centrefold or two but you're not Hef so what's a kid to do? Well start saving your pennies because here's a list of of Playboy centrefolds who'll shag you silly for cash. Good information to have kicking about I suppose. And don't forget after all those girls still sharing Hef's bed are only doing it because of his money and status, so really you paying a bunny or two for sex isn't a whole lot different as long as you snap a picture or two and compile a list of turn ons and turn offs.

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Anyway I gotta get outta here. Later skaters.

Dance Your Cares Away

Worry's for another day, let the live action musical play down in Fraggle Rock. Yep that's right kids according to the jerks over at AICN there's a live action musical version of Fraggle Rock in the works, you can read just a little bit about it here if you like. IMDB says the film will have a 2011 release. Live action Fraggles? I dunno, what's wrong with puppet Fraggles and dudes in big suits playing the Gorgs? And the blue screen placing the tiny Fraggles in frame with the giant Gorgs would be a whole lot better now.

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Until I actually see something I'll assume that it will be at least as good as the TV show (hey admit it it was good and you liked it and you still sometimes watch the reruns on Teletoon Retro). I just wonder who will play the old not so successful inventor guy who tossed all of Uncle Travelling Matt's postcards in the wastepaper basket.

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And oh yeah, is it just me, or was Junior Gorg at least a little bit retarded?

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Speaking of Teletoon Retro, what happened to Rocket Robin Hood and why no Adventures of the Mighty Hercules. If you're reading this Senior VP in Charge of Pleasing Geeks Who Never Grew Up(oh and I know you do) over at TTR get on that shit, will you.

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And since I mentioned geeks, how's about closing off with a fine collection of some great examples of geek art & graffiti. If you get any of these you're not as cool as you thought you were.

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Sorry.

Misunderstanding

The lesbians next door to me gave me a Rolex for my birthday.

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Very nice indeed, but I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.

You Still Here?

Yeah yeah it's a been a long time, but maybe I've been busy doing stuff in real life having great adventures (like rocking out at the Winnipeg stop of the Canadian Carnage Tour - check out the concert videos on Youtube, the Winnipeg Sun Review and the Winnipeg Free Press Review) and shit like that. Or not. I'll let you decide on that, but no matter I'm back here after a month and half and plan to hammer out something for my fan.

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So in the past couple weeks I'm sure your Celebrity Death Beeper has been ringing off the hook with the deaths of Farrah Fawcett (like the guys in 2 Cents said The Dead Don't Rest for the Beautiful - but she had a great spread in Playboy in the mid-90's, check it yo), Micheal Jackson (still creepy even when dead, the question is, is he creepier dead or alive? Take a peek at some of his stuff and you decide.), Billy Mays (who will stop the Sham-Wow Guy now?) and Mollie Sugden aka Mrs Slocombe on the BBC series Are You Being Served?

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And my final homage to MJ, the Thai Prison Thriller Dance.

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Man I wish my business card was this cool.

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Anyway gotta get going - maybe I'll be back tomorrow, maybe I won't, you'll have to come back and check for yourself.

Say No to Sioux Lookout's "No-Name Subdivision"

I'm not the most politically active son-of-a-gun around but a petition has been started on ipetitions here asking the Municipality not to go ahead with the proposed "No Name Subdivision", so if you think this is a bad idea as well you might want to sign it as well.
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If not sorry to have to bothered you, oh wait, I'm not bothering you, you stopped by here, technically you're bothering me. If you could pass this along to others who might be interested and/or affected that'd be great. Me I don't think this is great a idea, at least not at the moment. As everyone (I think) is aware we're in the midst of an economic downturn, the mad demand for housing and building lots here in town appears to be slowed down (take a look at all the houses and lots available here, here, here, here and here) and giving land to private developer when it wasn't done in the past doesn't seem right either. But at the same time you can't fault them for asking, I mean after you can ask for the moon (or a solid gold hummer in a solid gold Hummer), but you're not necesarily going to get it.
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This is going up before council on May 20, so time really is of the essence.

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Fight the power.

Scrap the Long Gun Registry

Not sure if this is up your road or not, but here is a link to an online petition (with a print-out-able version as well in case you still know people who aren't e-savvy like us) to abolish Canada's wasteful long gun registry program from the fine people at the Ontario Federation of Anglers and Hunters.

I know I'm all for it (even if it might make as big a difference as pissing in the ocean) and as of my signing there were 30,666 signatures as of this morning, 378 more since I signed yesterday morning. Even if you don't own guns you might want to consider supporting this just to try to help stop the government from pissing away your hard earned tax dollars (assuming you pay taxes that is) on a completely ineffective program who's sole purpose seems to be creating a false sense of security for people who don't understand the situation.

Anyway - please share the link with anyone you think would be interested.

PS - I don't have a bunker and am not stockpiling canned goods . . . but I might start, you never know when World War Z might break out and I want to be prepared.

Another Quality Thunder Bay Sign

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Me, I'm just wondering how long that was up before it was taken down . . . and how long the person who made the keen editing changes had been waiting to use this one.

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And it totally blows Bastard Muff out of the water, don't you think?

Always Twirl Twice in Front of the Mirror

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I don't know about you but it made me smile.

Is Spring Going to Take This Time?

Good morning iPhriends, how's it going? The sun is shining brightly and it stopped snowing yesterday around dinner time, although there was a thick frost on everything when I got up this morning . . . but let's hope winter had its last hurrah for a while. I've had my fill. It's nearly May and I still have the heat on.

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I *finally* got to see the Watchmen film Friday night at our local theatre and let me tell you it was worth the wait. I think they did a very good job of translating the books to the screen and look forward to purchasing the DVD release with up to one extra hour of footage.

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If you seen the Watchmen I think you'd have to agree that Jackie Earle Haley, the man who played Rorschach in that film (and Kelly in the Bad News Bears), he'll make for a great, and much darker, Freddy Krueger in the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street reboot (according to this he is anyway).

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Oh and those of you are interested how's about some pics of Malin Akkerman (the actress who played the Silk Spectre II in the film) forgetting the rule about wearing gitch under your skirt, especially when getting in and out of automobiles and you're famous and people like to take pictures of you.

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You know I'm always planning for World War Z and think that it would be in your best interest if you did as well, because well you know I care. So what's your zombie contingency plan? If you haven't come up with one on your own yet perhaps you can read these 11 examples and you can work on your own. You know better to be prepared, like the boy scouts say "Hope for the best and prepare for the worst."

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And finally a happy 83rd birthday to author Harper Lee . . . would you believe I've never read her To Kill a Mockingbird? And yes I did in fact graduate from high school. Go figure.

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That's her for today, until next time.

Words to live by

Never piss off someone who owns a backhoe.
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See?

How high's the water momma?

Maybe you've been busy living under a rock or taking bets on which of the Big 3 declares bankruptcy first but there are other things going on, like southern Manitoba flooding. Oh the glamour and excitement of living in flood plain.

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Seeing these pictures makes me think that yeah, Manitoba could have been the bottom of an ancient inland sea . . . and holy mosquitos, when things start to warm up and dry up.

I'll put this into the boy I'm glad it's not me files.

Happy Earth Day Yo

As far as I know today is Earth Day. If you're anything like me you're going to celebrate by driving to work in a V8 (and no I haven't modified my hippy mobile to run on shitty tasting vegetable cocktail) powered vehicle a distance that can be easily walked in under ten minutes. But hopefully you're a better person than I am. I'm sure local school kids will be out picking garbage (if that's not too dangerous for your precious little snowflakes to do anymore) today which is a good thing because in this town it seems there's a general wide held misconception that throw away coffee cups from Timmy Ho's (which have travelled at least 60 miles from the nearest store to get here, how's that for a carbon foot print?), Robin's Donuts and (gasp) yes even Roy Lane are completely biodegradable and/or provide excellent shelter for the elusive Northwestern Ontario Land Hermit Crab so they tossed where ever the cup is emptied.

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I guess it could be worse, after all it could be 6 pack yolks.

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No matter, in honour of the day here's a slide show showing some of Mother Nature's best ideas (our weather as of late is not even close to being on this list) and how the most advanced (and hairless) apes on the planet are doing their best to mimic them for our own profit & gain. The bit about the termite mounds is pretty interesting.

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And you know when it comes to the environment not everything sounds bad is bad, like until reading this I had no idea that toxic lakes were good things, or at least could be for migraine sufferers.

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And well you gotta show both sides of the story, maybe, well okay you do when it supports your cause I suppose, but here's an interesting article talking about the downsides of green jobs, like how the cost over 2 jobs somewhere else . . . but as long as that somewhere else isn't your somewhere else, who cares, right?

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And oh yeah if you've ever fancied a peek at Joss Stone's shiny giny here's your chance. Yeah I know it doesn't have anything to do with Earth Day, but the pics are from Coachella so I'm sure there were a lot of soap dodging granola munchers there.

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And finally, happy birthday to Bettie Page and Marilyn Chambers . . . think of all self gratification that those two ladies inspired during their careers.

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Until next time.

If I Sent My Kids to School . . .

. . . I think I'd want to enroll them in one of the fine schools in Portage la Prairie after seeing this picture.
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I think I overslept . . . until October

First off let me open with "Fuck this weather, fuck it in its stupid ass". I've had enough of this, and we're not flooding out or anything, just 3/4's the way through April still with snow on the ground, and oh yeah some of it's nice and fresh. Ah well maybe a pic of Jenn Aniston topless will chase away the weather related blues.

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Did you know/realise that today is the 10th anniversary of the Columbine High School shooting rampage? If you're rocking this sweet shirt from T Shirt Hell you probably already knew that though. Oh how time flies, eh? And now this has become part of culture and language.

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Also if you haven't heard legendary (??) porn star and Ivory Snow box model Marilyn Chambers was found dead at age 56 in her trailer home. More here if you're interested. At one time I had a copy of Behind the Green Door on VHS . . . I don't recall anything about so either I didn't watch it (unlikely) or it wasn't that stand out.

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And here's some interesting news for the (non-Somali type) pirates (learn the shocking truth about pirates here) out there - the four founders of The Pirate Bay have been sentenced to one year in prison for copyright infringement. You can read more about it here, but don't fret about the Pirate Bay going down, I hear Google is just as good as anything else for searching out the torrents.

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You know I haven't been too sure about where to go on holiday next, but after seeing this maybe Cyprus is in order?

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And oh yeah, Happy Birthday Adi and happy 4/20 to my stoner readers out there.

What's the best part of a long weekend?

The short week that follows.

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Yeah so I made it through the Easter weekend, which I'm lucky enough to have four days off for, how'd you fair? It might be a little late, but here's an interesting list of ten things you didn't know about Easter from Time. But where's Eostre?

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In keeping with the season, here's a list of 7 things from pop culture that apparently piss Jesus off. And no I don't think they mean that dude from Old Mexico who takes care of your lawn.

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Keeping with the religious theme, dare you look into the flaming pit of hell? It's horrible and not appropriate for work. But don't say I didn't warn you.

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Now I just have to wonder, where do you get that done, and how do you start that conversation with the guy on the other side of the counter?

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If you still watch Saturday Night Live you might have already seen this sketch the other weekend, but if you are still watching SNL, I have to ask is it worth it? Before Tina Fey left if I was watching I'd flip over to NBC around 11 (that's central time) knowing that weekend update was going to be on shortly after that, then stop watching after that. After Tina Fey left, I stopped watching . . . but then funny thing, I've never watched a single episode of her new show 30 Rock. Go figure.

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You know I think it's true, cats don't care.

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Thanks to this sweet gear now any kid can blow up the Death Star. Combine that stuff with your Taun Taun sleeping bag and you'll the coolest kid camping out on the sidewalk waiting to get into the next Star Wars Celebration (that's celebration, not convention, apparently they're touchy about that shit) to hear Billy Dee Williams ramble aimlessly/incoherently about waist versus full length capes and whether or not Colt 45 really works every time. Well okay maybe not the coolest kid, but you'll be cooler than these people, that I can promise.

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Maybe you'd be better off with this Death Star on your camp out, if times get tough you can always eat it before feasting on the tender well marbled flesh of your compatriots.

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You know, I'm a fan of concerts, I loves me some live music . . . I have to say that one thing I've never done is crowd surf, doubt I ever will, but I've pass people along and thrown people up on top of the crowd, but I don't know if any of those experiences top these. I don't know about you, but this one is a personal favourite.

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And I will sign off today with something that does my heart good to see. Enjoy.

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Until next time.

Dear World, I'm sorry

You know, I always figured I was partly responsible, but it looks like I'm even more liable than I had even dared think in the past and now thanks to this article the cats really out of the bag. Thanks for spilling the beans Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva. Seems that Brazil's president blames blue eyed honkeys for the world's current economic crisis.

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Again I'm sorry, I'm trying to make things better, but the man, aka Barack Obama is keeping me down.

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At least you can say I'm not at responsible for this . . . and of course no one in their right mind would think a deer was responsible for it either, would they?

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Hey, here's an article with a good reason to go back to Oz . . . okay well I guess it's two reasons really . . . big reasons.

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Speaking of Oz, according to this the Sidney Ritz-Carlton has shut its doors. That might not mean anything to you, but if you're a crazed INXS/Micheal Hutchence fan you're lamenting the fact that you never got to be in the building where the former INXS front man ended his life with a belt on the back of a door. Me I got to ride past in a hearse and look out the windows at it.

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And just in case you've got an unhealthy attraction to that hot cousin that you get to see every other Christmas, this article might be a good reason to go to Romania. Or France or Spain or Portugal. You know they're right, just because something's immoral doesn't mean it should be illegal . . . but damn.

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And oh yeah apparently the children of cousins are not only have a greater risk of having multiple heads and tails, but also have a greater risk of catching infectious diseases and playing the banjo on a porch swing.

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Apparently incest isn't that uncommon in nature, but then again so is eating your young, so let's not sue that as a defence for the fact that you think a family reunion is a great place to score chicks.

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Well I'm outta here for now.

A Quick Joke

A blonde goes into the cleaners & drops off a blouse to be dry-cleaned.

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As she's leaving, the man behind the counter says, 'Come again.'

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The blonde stops and says, 'No, it's mustard this time.'