Did you fire up your Advent Calender?

Seems that Advent started yesterday, and I still don't have a cheap ass advent calender with the the tiny bits of cheap chocolate, that are most likely actually brown wax, hiding behind each of the little perforated cardboard doors. Ah the memories . . . last year was at least 12 months ago.

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And even if it more than 12 days away, I'm going to share with you the 12 Days of Christmas, Winnipeg Style. This only even moderately amusing if you're at all familiar with the River City . . . although I'm glad they mentioned the stalled cars (I've been many places and I swear Winnipeg has the highest concentration of cars with hoods up in the left turn lane of anywhere . . . this is of course a purely subjective observation) but I am disappointed with the lack of mention of having your stolen. Maybe that hits a little too close to home though.

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The inclusion of the Go Jets Go sign is also a nice touch as well - I swear I can't go to any event in Winnipeg without there being a drunk jackass screaming "Go Jets Go". Someone should let the fine folks in Transcona know that they got their wish back in 1996 they went Jets went to Phoenix to become the Coyotes.

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But fear not delusional Winnipeg hockey fans, you might not support the Moose and may not have supported the Jets and NHL salaries may be growing exponentially, but you've got a new arena so the Jets are on their way back . . . some day . . . maybe.

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No matter, back to the important thing, Giftmas. In case you've got a geek or two no your card list perhaps you'd be interested in one of these 11 sweet Christmas Cards for that special pocket protector sporting, calculator watch wearing, comic book reading, D&D playing person in your life. Trust even if you don't think these are funny, they will. Don't ask how I know that though.

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And of course more important than cards or trees or any of that is the oh so special television holiday special, and you're in luck because EW has compiled their 25 favourites here. I don't know about you, but Dr Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas narrated by Mr. Boris Karloff is a definite must watch for me.

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But maybe you're more a punker and Fear's Fuck Christmas is more up your alley.

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That's her for now, until next time GO JETS GO!

Big. Frackin'. Moose.

This is supposed to be the real deal and not a hoax, but I can't say it was emailed to me by a friend, but there are a lot of hits when Google thunder bay record moose, but most seem to be mostly message boards at first glance, and potential as accurate as the stuff that gets emailed to you day in and out.
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No matter, this is supposed to be a possible new Ontario record moose killed near Thunder Bay. The spread of the rack measured 64.5 inches and it scored a 229. The official measurement will come after the rack has dried for 60 days. I have no idea about sizes or anything but this was one huge bull. . After looking at these pics I think it's safe to say that it looks like someone's freezer is going to be full for a long time.
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Maybe this says something about me?

I don't know about you, but when I read this article I thought, I would have headlined it "Doctors Unlock Secrets of Child's Brain". What do you think? Should I apply for a job with Maclean's? Or just stick to this for the time being?

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Hey I never said I wasn't a bad person. But at least the Doctors from that article didn't have to resort to using any of the 25 Awesome Ways to Break Bad News as featured in this sweet Photoshop contest over at Cracked.

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From bad news to films, check out the AFI's Top 100 Films summarized in Five Words Each. It's a pretty cool list and idea and seems well executed, although I haven't seen all the films in question.

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Now that you have enough witty things to say about films to really impression your film snob friends, how about taking a look over at Entertainment Weekly's collection of the 25 Most Controversial Movies Ever. It seems my friends that the standards for controversy are being lowered all the time - but I must say there are some good films on the list. My aren't I controversial?

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From controversial to craptacular, check out the Ten Worst Films of the Past Ten Years as compiled by Rotten Tomatoes. And I have to admit there's a couple of films on there that I saw and enjoyed.

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Why not take a peek at another worst films list, this one from the Sun-Sentinel. Right off the hop I have to disagree with their Number 1 pick, it should not be on this list. Nor should #3, I mean it's not great but it's a classic . . . and it's people! It's made from people.

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I'm also finding it hard to believe that #18 made the list as well . . . or maybe I've just got really shitty taste in film? Yeah you know what? I'm thinking that whomever built that list just didn't know what they were talking about because I'm positive that for each film on that list I can pick a worse one to replace it with. But I guess taste is subjective and varies from person to person don't it.

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Well I think that's her, I'll leave you today with this question - does it not get any hotter or creepier than this?

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Pale? Check
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Ink? Check
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Itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikini? Check
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Hot hula hoop gyrations? Check
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Storm Trooper Helmet? Giggity!

Explain to me this . . .

So I was in Shelbyville yesterday and asides from committing a random act of Wal-Mart and making a Can-Tire run, as well as of course attending to my work duties, come on now folks, you know I'm dedicated and what not, I got to put gas in my truck for 79.4 cents per litre.

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Gas in town is bumping between 94.5 and 94.9 cents per litre at the moment, depending on the station, but gas is normally 10 cents per litre cheaper in Dryden, so 15 cents is a little larger gap than normal, but the real kicker was day before last I got a delivery of home heating oil. That's the dyed stuff that says it doesn't have all the highway taxes that regular diesel would so it should be super cheap, because aren't we always being told that over 1/3 the cost of a litre of gasoline is tax?

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No matter, anyway the heating oil I got just two short days ago was 90 cents per litre. Go figure . . . I mean what's the world coming to when I could heat my house cheaper with gasoline than with heating oil . . . although if I tried I'm sure I wouldn't have to worry about heating my house any more because it would just be a smoking pile of rubble.

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But hey I'll take that 90 cents per litre oil after all it was $1.11 at my last fill up.

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Yeah yeah I know, piss and moan piss and moan.

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Maybe I need to liven things up here a bit, eh? So how about I tell you about the film Black Dynamite, check out the trailer. Now you can't tell me that this doesn't look awesome. Although I think that tracking down this one will prove as difficult as getting a copy of Zombie Strippers, but I'm sure it will be just as rewarding.

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I'm out of time for this morning, but for those of you thinking about going up to the Northwest Territories and getting your freak on, you may want to think twice after you read about how the government there has sounded the alarms over a resurgence of syphilis. Territorial health officials say that it's spread from neighbouring Alberta, which is a likely story but I have to admit it sounds better than saying you got it from a toilet seat or from trying on some jeans at the mall.

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But hell, as far as STD's go this one can't be all bad, if it's good enough for royalty it's got to be good enough for you, right?

Do you like . . .

. . . cool stuff and saving money?

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Of course we all do, so you'll be glad to hear that the fine folks over at What On Earth are taking 25% of the items in the Outlet Store section of the website. You'll need to enter a coupon code from their email when you're doing your check out in order to get the discount.

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Happy shopping, remember Giftmas is just around the corner. And hurry the offer ends at 11:59pm EST on November 23, 2008

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Cough WNV8CLR Cough

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Laters.

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PS - With this post I've set a new best for posts in one month. Hoo-ray me!

Is your cat plotting to kill you?

Apparently . . .
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Check to see if your cat is trying to kill you here and check for the signs here.

And if it's not my cat that's trying to kill me, seems that the airline I fly on regularly for work (in the summer time it seems like every week) is. Looks had a little runway/landing gear incident with one of their planes way up in Fort Severn. You can check out some pics and a little info on the incident here, but please remember I'm not responsible for the Nickelback song playing the whole time you're on the site.

That's her, I'm outta here.

Writing Stuff

Well apparently it's good news for the Sioux Lookout Flyers fan out there, word on the street is that a mysterious hockey and money losing loving man from Winnipeg and a collection of local businessmen have given the team an injection of life, aka cashish, and they'll be around at least for this season. There's some info on the team website and in the local rag.

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There's also a team meet and great at the Legion after one of their games this weekend, I'm sure I've seen both Sunday and Saturday listed as the date depending on the source, so let's hope it's Saturday because Sunday is Grey Cup Sunday and even though no one likes the CFL everyone will be watching this game.

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No matter, congratulations Sioux Lookout Flyers, best of luck to you and once again I look forward to not attending any of your games.

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Since I mentioned the local paper earlier, I feel the need to mention this; in the paper again this week is another write up extolling the virtues of being a loca-vore. Me I prefer the message in this article which is basically "Food miles are for jerks who hate the environment." and make some good points to support this stance, or at least they do in my opinion. But what do I know of such things, I'm positive each side is skewing the facts to suit their own agendas.

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All I have to say about this is to quote the words of the great orator and icon of our times, Mr. Ralph Wiggum, "Me fail English? That's unpossible." Be prepared to be shocked and amused at the leader's of tomorrow completely unmazing grasp of the Engrish language.

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Now it's time for a little kitsch with a nice collection of some sweet paintings on velvet. There are some truly awesome ones in there, I mean before seeing this I never would have put the King of Kings and the (alleged) King of Rock together. My folks had a sweet painting of deer/bush scene on velvet on the living room wall forever with a frame quite similar to the one around this bad boy.

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Well that's her for now, but I will leave with some pics of Kim Kardashian on a Miami beach. You know I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave.

What a big day in history

Seems that today is the 38th anniversary of rockabilly superstar Jerry Lee Lewis divorcing his cousin and third wife, who was all of 13 years old when they were married, Myra Gail Brown after 12 years of wedded bliss. To make things even more interesting he was still married to his 2nd wife Jane Mitchum when he tied the knot with Myra.

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Hillbilly much?

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Today is also the 30th anniversary of the Jonestown Massacre in Guyana, where cult leader Jim Jones had his followers in the People's Temple drink cyanide laced kool aid to commit mass suicide in the South American sun.

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From the horrors of history to a train wreck of an interview here we go kids, hold on. Check out this sweet Jean Claude Van Damme interview, it's not long but totally worth the read. Whodda guessed that JCVD was such a smooth operator?

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Sorry it's short but I gotta run. Later.

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PS - I still want this, have you put a bid in for me yet?

All I Want for Giftmas

Is this. I want it so bad I can taste the dog stolen turkey and feel the wood of the Fra-Jeel-Eh splintering under the might and power of my crowbar.
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I mean how awesome is that?
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Seriously . . . I'm going to revise my letter to St. Nick right now.

And in the beginning . . .

I haven't read it, but The Clash have released a book, all written in their own words, detailing how the band started out and how they got together simply title The Clash. You can read a bit about the book and some passages from the book here. I'd like to give this one a read, so if you do get this book lemme borrow it when you're done with it, would you?

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Thanks.

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Wanna see something cool? Of course, we all do. Well how about a mummified 12 year old McDonald's hamburger that looks as appealing (or appalling, depending on the person) on the day it was hatched under Ronald McDonald's vengeful gaze. When have to wonder how this burger can do so well and last so long in the wild, when they stay inside me for such very short periods of time? One of the mysteries of modern science I suppose.

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While we're talking fast food, how's about a side by side comparison of the food from the ads compared to the stuff you get in the restaurant. We all know from personal experience that things just don't match up from the ads and in real life, but it is interesting to actually see it right in front of your eyes like that. I mean it's not often I'm lucky enough to be jamming an A&W Uncle Burger down my pie hole while watching the TV ad for it.

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BTW - I found the Uncle Burger a little disappointing, it was missing something taste wise, but that's just my opinion. Great name for a sandwich though and the mascot has a sweet little 'stache. Almost expect that the Uncle in the burger family is still single and shows up to family BBQ's in a gold TA, pinches Mama's bottom, drinks all Papa's beer, makes the kids more than a little uncomfortable and don't even get me started on how Grandpa feels about it all.

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Or maybe I'm just projecting.

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And now for something completely different; ever shop at American Apparel? Yeah me either, seems that most of the clothing buys lately are coming from Mark's Work Wearhouse, but I have to say that American Apparel's ads are pretty interesting, someone has compiled 30 of their favourite, which happen to be their porniest, here. I'm sure their catalog's are a big hit with the barely pubescent boy set, that shit's way better than Nat-Geo ever was.

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Seems that there's a bit of a kerfuffle over nurses in the UK and after reading this article I'm not sure what that problem is. Some Lord has a bad experience, in his opinion, with his nurses while in hospital and then has this to say:

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"The nurses who looked after me were mostly grubby - we are talking about dirty fingernails and hair - and were slipshod and lazy. Worst of all, they were drunken and promiscuous".

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I don't know about you, but these girls sound like they're a pretty good time.

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MMMMMMMMMMMMM dirty nurses.

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From fast and loose to fast and loose, check out this cool race between a motorcycle, a Porsche and a fighter jet. You might be surprised at how this one shapes up.

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Well that's her for now - but did you know that if you do a Google Image Search for Dirty Nurses with your safety filter off the first pic to come up links back to a page on here? That and the Drew Barrymore flashing Dave Letterman on his show account for a whole lot of my traffic.

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Don't forget, Jesus Loves You, big time.

Fly Fly Away

Well it looks like my lovely little town's Junior A hockey team the Sioux Flyers of the Superior International Junior Hockey League, that just started this season, is on its way out with the owner and coach/manager both walking away from the team.

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I may have said this in an email I sent last night, but I don't care about this team and whether or not it folds or survives, but you might, so in case you are and feel like being hit up for donations go to the Knights of Columbus Hall here at noon today for an emergency meeting, which despite what the poster says that I saw posted up at Robin's Donuts and that someone emailed me last night has not been moved to King Street, it's still where it always was. It's little things like that that help to make it clearer why the team is in a bad way.

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Here's what CKDR has to say about the meeting.

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I've got a pretty good idea of what the result of this emergency meeting will be, and I tip my hat to the kids on the team to say good bye. Although going to this meeting might be a chance to actually see the team since I haven't noticed them making much of attempt to get out into the Community and make their presence known, you know the whole kissing hands, shaking babies thing . . . but then again I'm not out in the Community either so unless these guys came by my living room I probably never would have seen them, and no don't get ideas I don't want that to happen.

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No well, good luck Sioux Flyers . . . I was really looking forward to not going to any of your games.

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But hey enough of that, let's get down to bidnizz bitches. How about we take a look at a couple new posters for the new Star Trek film scheduled for a May 8 release? How awesome does Sylar look as Spock in the one poster? As awesome as the posters be prepare for a bit of a Trek related let down . . . let's have us a look at new Enterprise.

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It would appear that the good people over at Trek, who hopefully hate time travel story arcs as much as I do, have been saddled with a bit of Lucasism and forgot something about technology, it gets better as you go into the future, not the past and the Enterprise they've created for a movie set before The Original Series in the Trek time line has the most futuristic and fancy looking ship to date. Make sense to me this does not.

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I mean sure make the effects better, but really the ship should look like the one from the Original Series, just with more realistic space backgrounds and fewer sentient gas/energy cloud monsters. Or am I the only one who feels this way? Or better question am I the only one who cares? Probably.

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As I'm sure you're aware Christmas is coming, so you'd probably start to bone up on your Christian lore and legend. Since I'm a nice guy I'll help you out a bit here, first off here's a collection of 40 Awesome Versions Jesus guaranteed to offend almost any God fearing Christian for your viewing pleasure. There are some top quality pieces in there for sure.

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All right now that you remember what Jesus looked like, some of his many adventures and feel bad for not paying closer attention and probably falling asleep during the sermon about Jesus and the Ghostbusters it's time to sharpen up on your Bible quotes.

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Check out this sweet sadistic bible verse gear from the fine and fanatical folks over at Landover Baptist (it's where the worthwhile worship you know . . . bet even the worthwhile and saved can't say that five times fast). They've emblazoned the choicest of bible verses onto everything from teddy bears to gitch to coffee cups. Let the breeders in your office know how you really feel about the froot of their looms with this mug in the coffee room Monday morning.

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And finally here's an interview of Jesus carried out by none other than Mr. Ron Burgundy.

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Here's a good news/bad news item; seems that according to this article the stink in farts controls blood pressure. Now infer what you like from I'm implying but based on this information it seems to me that my blood pressure must be wicked high these past few days.

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Since The Quantum of Solace is opening today here's a link to a collection of classic Bond novel cover art, but to see the pics you've got to scroll down, scroll way down.

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And I'll sign off with something a little racy - seems not only did Katy Perry kiss a girl, and I hear she liked it, she also popped out of her top while performing at a charity concert in Toronto, and of course The Sun was there.

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I liked that.

Ex-tree, Ex-tree, Read All About It

Happiest of newspaper days to you good readers.

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It's not newspaper or Wednesday related, unless you want to make your own weak "Hump-Day" joke, but do you think that the "C-Word" (you know the one I mean) is pretty much the harshest sounding and most vulgar of all of our great English curses? As far as I know you can't make it sound any nicer, it always comes out sounding pretty harsh and I bet it would even if you had cherubic looking little kid say it. But no matter . . . maybe you've wondered where it comes from, what its history is? Well wonder no longer, because for you fine readers here it is. Although I have to say you'd think the writer's name would have been Mike, not Matt.

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Maybe that had too many words in it, well you're in luck because the BBC was working a documentary on the word (here's another write up), which I would imagine would be a lot like the one they did on the word "fuck".

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Granted it's a little more serious, but more fitting considering the date, but this website has 100's of colour photos taken by the French in World War 1. Yep you read that right, colour photos of World War 1. The site was pretty slow for me, but had some great photos . . . it's a fantastic site for the history geek . . . i mean buff yeah buff that's the ticket.

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While we're sorta on the subject, how about this collection of World War 2 propaganda posters from both the Axis and the Allies? I really like the style of these posters, there's something about them from top to bottom, the art, the message, the iconography. I can't explain it exactly, but I'm a fan none the less. When I was in Ottawa a few years ago I spent half a day at the War Museum and they had a huge display of WW2 era propaganda posters up.

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I'm not saying that display is still there but if you're in Ottawa do yourself a favour and go to the War Museum (if you touch Hitler's limo and alarm will sound. Don't ask how I know I just do), it's an amazing place. Oh yeah and stay away from the titty bar above Zaphod's. It sucks ass, and not in the good way.

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Here's another collection, but this one is just American propaganda.

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I've made it no secret that I'm also a fan of the pinup art and girls of yesterday and I guess what is a natural extension of that is the nose art from the WW2 planes. Here's a small collection of some if you're interested in checking it out.

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That's enough for today, but I'll leave you with some pictures from the Tonight Show of Xtina looking rather pinupish. Sure she's no Vargas girl or Bettie Page, but who is?

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Until next time.

Baby it's cold outside . . .

. . . well okay not that cold yet, I mean I can't do this, but old man winter finally realised that he was due to stop into my lovely little town, and he has done so. But at least so far it's not with avengence.

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Speaking of cold, after reading this article made me think that I should get some heated seats for everything I own. Maybe even a portable one for when I'm flying up north.

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Or maybe I just need to say screw it to the cold and move to Australia, made all the more appealing because of the apparent "man drought" that they're suffering from there. Can't says I noticed that when I was there, but then again it's not like I was out in the thick of the nightlife on the pull. But all the ladies working at the tourist destinations and the like who I joked about wanting me really were chatting me up?

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But then it is Australia, the coast beautiful, the beer plentiful the people friendly, but shit they've also got real drought to go with their man drought, and I think everything there is poisonous. Well okay not quite everything, but I believe that the general rule of thumb is the prettier something is, the more poisonous it is. And yes that does apply to the women as well.

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Not to mention the heat . . . there's got to be some place in the world where I can move to where I won't need to run heat or air conditioning. Any suggestions? Maybe somewhere in the south of France? Coastal Spain? I'm not sure these are just guesses. I haven't been doing any research on the subject to be honest.

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But if I moved away from here I'd sure I'd just piss and moan about the crime or the bugs or the snakes or the lack of snow and how the snot never freezes in my nose anymore when I go outside or the Gyppos or the low cost of booze and being allowed to drink it in the park.

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Yep, but no matter where you go, there you are.

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Maybe you're planning to do some travel, or planning to plan to do some, watch out for the Lonely Planet travel books. It seems that an author who worked on more than a dozen of the books in the series has claimed that he plagiarised (not so bad, not ethical but not that bad for you as long as the source was good. Don't be too quick to judge if you work at a desk I'm sure you've "cut & paste" from someone else's document. Guess what? That's plagiarism) and made up (okay now that's bad if you're using his advice) large sections of his books. You can read more about it here if you're interested, or maybe you'd rather keep your head in the sand.

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Oh well what can you do? But hey, have you seen? It looks Ironman has been drinking too much beer and eating too many hot dogs. But hey check out what is quite possibly the coolest Storm Trooper ever. Hail to Emperor baby.

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It's time to shift gears a little, but only a little, because this next link will combine geekery and rock and roll. Check it out, it's 20 album covers recreated in Lego, with handy pics right there of the original in case you aren't familiar with it. My only complaint is there's too much of the Beatles there, otherwise it's pretty cool . . . but then again I still like to play with Lego, so maybe I'm a little biased.

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Anyway I think that's about it for today, I'll leave you with a link to a pic that's quite similar to a poster I've got up in my porch. I think it's cool and that's all that matters.

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Later.

You're Givin' Me a Heart Attack-ack-ack

The fine Arizona eatery know as the Heart Attack Grill was brought to my attention via an email from a friend who provided this collection of lovely photos, you can some different on their website here if that tickles your fancy.

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And they've got a fine looking menu there and I have to admit I do like the waitresses uniforms, but that probably doesn't come as a big surprise. After all I'm sure when they designed the whole concept of this place they were trying to lure in guys like me.

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No matter, enjoy the photos and if you ever go to this place lemme know how it really is. But remember they've been mandated by the Government to let you know that none of their "Nurses" have any medical training.

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The Nanny State is the greatest state I suppose?

One more time

Yep - SCotS (check out the fan submitted recipes on their site, there are some that sound pretty good, and I can't even think about tuna salad without horseradish in it now) two days in a row - posts what five days in a row?

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The music that's all me, it's fun and funky everyone should like them. The posting, I think we can thank the time change, I'm still getting up at the same time but now it's an hour earlier so I gots me a lot more time in the morning, and this is how I spend it. Good thing I'm not a go getter or I might be doing something productive with my time instead of entertaining you lot.

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This article might be of interest to some, it's all about why men visit brothels (that's nice way to say whorehouse BTW) from the point of view of an Aussie prostitute. Not once did she mention because the guys going through the door just wanted to get a piece or shag as different many birds as possible. I did see some what we were told were brothels when we were in Sydney, but I didn't go in . . . did visit a bondage house as part of the haunted ghost tour of Sydney though. Didn't see any ghosts in their, but there was some scary shit.

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I'm disappointed, the website for the tour company says "Formerly by hearse, now by mini-bus". When we went we were toured around in a 1960-something Cadillac hearse, and it turned more heads on the streets of the city than some of the exotic cars I saw down by the Circular Quay.

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But hey Australia's wonderfully different. Like read this article here about a stag party stripper being charged with rape for allegedly sodomizing the best man with a vibrator. Now that's something that didn't make it into the Tom Hanks film.

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Buttsecks - I mean but since we're talking about the freaky deaky here, how's about we take a look at The World's 25 Strangest Fetishes and it's an illustrated look too boot. I have to wonder if Microphilia is an attraction to little people as in midgets/dwarves or just people smaller than yourself? Huh looks like I answered that question . . . so even though I like short birds, that doesn't specifically make me a Microphiliac . . . unless you count in Tinkerbell. Then maybe . . .

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Oh I've said too much already. I'm outta here

Well you can just call me Mr. Above Average

According to this article from the Daily Mail from our friends across the pond Mr. Average breaks the law at least once per day (no word on how many times a day Mr. Awesome does), be it speeding or illegal downloading or thoughtcrime maybe even. Sure that's true, we all knew it, we all do it, it's just we're breaking the laws that no one enforces, can enforce or they're the ones we're allowed to break a little (like speeding, everyone believes you won't get a ticket for driving 10 km/h over the posted speed limit, so everyone does.)

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I guess that article was the journalistic equivalent of reporting that water is wet and fire hot, movie at 11.

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Speaking of movies, how's about we take a few minutes to indulge in some historical geekery and watch the first sci-fi film ever made, Le Voyage Dans La Lune! (A Trip to the Moon!) over here at YouTube (not to be confused with the Smashing Pumpkins video for Tonight Tonight). This film was made by movie pioneer Georges Méliès in 1902; the particular version that I've linked to is narrated by Matthew Hawes, reading from the actual script that Méliès wrote to be read along with the film. Pretty cool eh?

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Maybe you prefer your geek films a little more current, so how's about this for news; according to this article Universal studios is going to adapt Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" series of super thick fantasy novels for the big-screen. I started to read this series late, when it was about nine or ten books long, and made it about half way through the fourth book when I just had to throw in the towel.

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I had so much catching up to do, with each book being at least a couple inches thick in paperback format, and knowing full well the series wasn't ending any time soon (Mr. Jordan has died so the 12th book in the series is being finished by Brandon Sanderson and is supposed to be the end of the story), the cast of characters was getting so big it was hard to keep track of who was doing what with whom and when, especially when one character might not be mentioned for several chapters, or later in the series a third of the book, it was more than a little overwhelming, and I decided to cut my losses and work on something else.

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It was almost as overwhelming as deciding to read everything from the Asimov universe in proper chronological order, but with more characters. So in closing on this topic - I hope that Universal has some of the best writers in the world because adapting this monstrous literary achievement is going to be no small feat.

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And even if they do make the film, I don't know that I'll live long enough to watch the whole thing, and don't say they made films out of the Lord of the Rings series. I know they did and they were awesome, but if you were pile the LotR books beside the WoT series the WoT pile would probably be about triple the size. Hell for that one the theatre would have to issue catheters and IV drips to everyone watching.

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In other geek movie news according to this article Columbia Pictures is going to be making a movie out of the comic series Preacher. I haven't read any Preacher, but I'm supposed to be borrowing some and everything I hear about it is great, so here's to hoping they do this series justice in theatres.

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From the world of late breaking music news, Deftones bassist Chi Ching is in a coma after a bad car crash that happened in Santa Clara on Monday. You can read a little more about it here if you're so inclined.

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And here's a public service announcement/plug - if you're looking to vacation in the Canmore, Alberta area check out this vacation rental condo. It's owned by a friend and his wife, so when you book tell them I sent you . . . or maybe better not, that might get your sorry ass booted out.

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Well I think that's enough for today, don't you? Until next time, you stay classy San Diego.

A Penny for the Guy?

Happy Bonfire Night to those of you who celebrate it. It's not celebrated much in Canada as far as I know but I think in Newfoundland it still is, although I don't know if they actually burn effigies of The Guy (I remember seeing something on the National Geographic Channel about how originally it wasn't Guy Fawkes who was burned but the Pope and there's at least one town in the UK that still does that) to commemorate the Gunpowder Plot, or just sit around bonfires and get liquored..

Speaking of anyone doing that around here? I don't know about you but a few Wednesday night drinks around a bonfire shooting off fireworks sounds like a good idea to me.

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If you aren't interested in mid-week boozing and fireworks, maybe you'd rather make me some supper? I know it's only been a few weeks but I've got a hankering for some curry. Anyone want to make me some butter chicken or butter lamb? And how about some naan bread to go with it? How's about it?

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That's what I thought, when should I stop by?

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I saw something yesterday reminding me that there were only 52 shopping days left until Giftmas. Is it really that close? I think it seems earlier than what it is because we don't have snow on the ground here yet, hell I'm still riding my motorbike. It's supposed to rain today according to the Weather Channel, but I might take it anyway. Can't be too many more bike friendly days left, eh?

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Are the malls playing Chrimbo music yet? I hope not . . . but I'm sure it's starting to get busy. I don't know how anyone can enjoy shopping for gifts in December, let alone on Christmas Eve.

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Oh well you can't stop it, and I do like the time off work, so yah Giftmas!

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But onto bigger, better and brighter things, how's about a look at a piece of early concept art for the Joker from the film the Dark Knight. Pretty cool eh? If you liked that then here's another piece of nerd porn for you, Dave Gibbons' early sketches for the look of the Watchmen in the comic.

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Hey you've getting a little too big for your britches lately, so I figure you need some quality taking down, so here are some nice fresh demotivational posters for you. They've all been compiled from over here, but this one is a favourite of mine . . . think that says something deep and dark about the twisted inner workings of my coal black heart?

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It probably does, but that's why you come by here innit?

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Sometime in the recent past I made mention of the Friday the 13th remake coming out in February 2009, well here for your viewing pleasure is a look at the new Jason Vorhees, or there would be if you're in the USA. Jerks.

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For some reason now I've got this song stuck in my head . . . oh well I think it's for me for now, until next time.

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PS - Congratulations to Barack Obama on his winning the US Presidency last night. Looks like I was wrong, maybe America is ready for a black man as President.

Do you know what Hunky Dory is?

It's a small Ukrainian Boat.

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Ba-dump-bump.

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Thank you Nestor Pistor (looks like he's still touring) for that one. Although I have a reason for dredging up a Canadian Ukrainian comic, honest I does and I don't just mean bad jokes about never throwing out empty margarine containers because they're the best, and original, Tupperware (BTW is Pampered Chef the new high end Tupperware for today's stainless steel appliance generation?). Anyone who has a Baba knows what I mean. And she always asks for them back to, don't she?

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Unless of course your Baba is Baba Yaga. Then there might be trouble.

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See I used it as a segue to lead into these cool pictures of playing cards with art from Ukrainian folk art. Pretty cool eh? Beats the hell out of the look of the standard English deck don't it?.

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While we're talking art, how's about Cracked's 10 Important News Stories as Depicted by 5 Year Olds. There are some good ones there, or at least I thought so, but sometimes I have the mentality of a five year old.

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While we're rocking the top ten list - why not spend a little time to look over the Ten Things Your Boss Hates About You. Not me, you. My boss loves me. He thinks I'm awesome. Or is that me who thinks I'm awesome? No matter someone does, just like how your mum said you were cool, only I'm not lying. But honestly some days aren't we all stinky bullies in the work place? Or is that just me?

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Okay I'm done, until next time, I'm just a wine stoned plowboy.

This Might Prove There is a God

Then again it might not, but certainly is proof that somebody loves us dearly. Seems that the good folks who brought us bacon salt, because sometimes you can't add bacon to make everything taste like bacon and like the product tag line says everything should taste like bacon, J & D have unleashed their newest culinary sensation on the world, Baconnaise. Which is just like it sounds, bacon flavoured mayo.

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Imagine that bacon sammich, bacon, lashings of brown sauce, baconnaise and a few shakes of bacon salt. Don't forget a slice of tomato in there somewhere too. Sounds glorious don't it?

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In case you aren't into shopping online or can't find bacon salt and baconaise in your local stores why not try the recipe included with this blog post and make your own bacon mayonnaise? If you don't like that one there's another at the end of the second page of this interview. If you do whip some up let me know how it turns out and maybe share a sample or two.

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I'm sure you'll be looking for something to wash it all down with, so why not try some bacon bourbon because we already know what a big hit bacon vodka is. Now every civilized person is going to be looking for some afters, so why not hit for the bacon cycle and have yourself some bacon ice cream for dessert?

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All I can say is it sounds heart-attack-aliscious.

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If you found my bacon themed lunch appealing perhaps you'd also be interested in checking out the Retrosexual Man's Code. Although I honestly think that the last line of that code should be something along the lines of:

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"A Retrosexual Man never reads lists of things defining his retrosexuality."

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I just think that'd be a nice kick in the junk, after all you can learn about being an old school manly man who shaves without foam, owns one belt, one pair of shoes, holds doors open and offers to help ladies and old folks with boxes from a list on the internet. But what do I know of such things?

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In case you are man and a manly man at that and are okay with book learnin' and readin' you may want to check out Esquire's list of the 75 books every man should read. I've only read three books off the list myself.

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No matter . . . hey maybe you're bored, maybe you're a bit of a voyeur, maybe it's a bit of both. Well worry no more, because here on this one single web page someone has compiled the 25 best webcams of 2007. Okay sure I know it's almost 2009, but hey it's there, so either go watch 'em or don't.

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If you're looking for a webcam closer to home, or at least closer to my home, check out the webcam feed of the construction of the new hospital being built in my lovely little town.

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Hey I like cars, you like cars, I live in the environment, you live in the environment. This should be of interest to us all - so check out this article about the new Mercedes Benz hybrid that gets a whopping 30 miles per gallon and it will only cost you $100,000. Now here's me, but I'm jaded and cynical thinking, 30 miles per gallon? That better be in stop and go city traffic because if it's not then it's basically Mercedes saying "Fuck you environment and car buying public, we're just in this for the marketing tag line here and hope people don't think too hard about what we're actually selling them."

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I say this because my Camaro, with all its 8 pushrod controlled cylinders and 350 (okay 346) cubic inches (that's 5.7 litres in case you don't know ci) and automatic transmission gets 30 miles per gallon on the highway. If you can't do better than that with a hybrid system you'd best be heading back to the design board to try again.

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Until next time, Boom Goes the Dynamite.

Happy Halloween

Boo!

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Happy Halloween, or as it was once known All Hallows Eve. What once served as a spooky New Years Eve tradition for the ancient Celts (which they called Samhain and no not the band this time but what's Halloween without Danzig eh?) was ultimately appropriated by Pope Gregory IV in 840 AD to serve as the daylong vigil preceding the Feast of All Saints. Even so, the Christians preserved the pagan festival's spooky trappings anyway, like they did so many other times with so many other Pagan festivals . . . I mean it makes sense to me, if people are already partying on one day and you want them to join your cause why change the date? Would only lead to confusion and this way you could have people celebrating your holy days without their even knowing. Now that's good management.

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But, hey who gives a shit? I mean you still go out get free candy and get to see all sorts of ladies in all sorts of sexy costumes, i.e. the sexy witch, the sexy devil, the sexy pirate, the sexy harem girl, the sexy school girl, the sexy nurse, to quote the King of Siam et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. There's just something about Halloween that's a license for woman to dress all slutty like. It's awesome.

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But just to help you out the good folks at Cracked have compiled another Halloween costume list, this time it's to let you know the top 20 costumes that will earn you a Halloween beat down.

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Now that you're officially scared witless let's get on with the show.

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This is a great Midas TV commercial featuring the Canadian police chase, true hilarity. This Futureshop commercial with the CFL tie in is also a current favourite of mine. I laugh every time I see and they play it a lot during the football games.

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Now here's a bit of news that's going to blow your mind - Rob Zombie has an animated movie in the works called The Haunted World of El Superbeasto starring a luchador named El Superbeasto. I don't know about you but I can't wait to see this one, I think that

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Rob Zombie + animation + Lucha Libre = epic win

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Just go take a look over at the official movie website (unfortunately a lot of it is still in the works) for yourself if you don't believe me. You can check out the IMDB page here if you like.

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It's not animated, but it's great news for people who travel and don't like dehydration and/or their mouths tasting like a monkey shit in them after 12 hours on an airplane; according to this article the TSA is likely to ease up on carry on restrictions for liquids on airplanes. This will likely ripple throughout the airline industry as it was the American TSA that basically set the standard for limiting liquids on the plane for fear of one of the passengers pulling a MacGyver and mixing up some toothpaste, hair gel and coca cola to make a bomb that'd drop the plane right out of the sky onto an orphanage with an idling bus full of nuns outside of it.

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They overlooked one thing though - MacGyver is fucked without his Swiss Army Knife and even before the new security measures you couldn't, well weren't supposed to, be bringing knives on the plane. See so everyone was safe . . . that being said I once inadvertently flew through the Winnipeg, Vancouver, Honolulu and Sydney airports with a money clip with a knife blade in it in my pocket. So who knows. I couldn't bring anything as potentially dangerous as my bottle of water on board though. Feel safer?

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And I think I'll sign off with this nifty little commercial to let us all in how they used to sell airline tickets. I'm thinking the travelling and/or swinging business was the target audience for this one.

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Have a safe and happy Halloween, and take advantage of it as tonight is the only night where parents actually tell their kids to go out and take candy from strangers.