So I heard it from a friend of a friend of mine . . .

. . . ah yes the urban legend, a great tradition, and likely one that will never be stopped. They're too much fun, and with the ease of the Internet and email you can spread them like wildfire not just from house to house but right around the world with a couple key taps and a mouse click.

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One bit of advice though, odds are if you get an email that's been forwarded a billion times to a zillion people warning you about the dangers of pop cans, plastic food containers, aliens reading your thoughts and stealing your PIN number, residents of whatever country you're in writing to their government requesting to become an illegal alien for its lucrative benefits, missing kids or dogs, gang initiations, oh fuck it the list could go on forever, you've seen them and you've probably sent them. Odds are, it's not true.

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I mean come on people think about it for a minute, if there was some news that was this earth shattering don't you think it would be reported in a legitimate news source other than your crazy old Aunty's email account who got it from her friend who got it from her nephew who's going to University in the city majoring in bong hits and minoring in Arts?

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But who knows, some of these emails might be true, like the ones from Nigerian Princes, the ones for cock enlargement and mortgage refinancing . . . man if I had the time to respond to all of these I'd need a wheel barrow to carry my johnson in from my house, on its 82nd mortgage with rates so low the mortgage companies are actually paying me for the opportunity to float me the loan, to my money bin for a Scrooge McDuck style swim in my fortune.

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Just do me one little favour, if you really really really must forward one of these emails, fact check it first, please?

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Make sure there really is a little girl out there who will get a nickel from Bicks for each time this email gets forwarded to pay for her emergency surgery to remove her body which is made of burlap and leaves and has to live in a giant pickle jar because she has no immunities and her parents can't afford a proper bubble for her to live in. Personally I like to do my checking of these things on Snopes (I'm sure there are other sites, I know some how like to fact check here when it's generally accepted that these guys are a better source of information, after all their tag line says they are the world's only reliable news source) they've got a really good database there and a whole lotta interesting information too boot.

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No matter, at least you can test your urban legend knowledge here if you like. I rocked 22 out of 30 on the beginner level and 14 out of 20 on the Advanced level . . . so I guess I'm fairly consistent with my urban legend knowledge.

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Since tomorrow is Halloween, let's get in the spirit, eh? Here's a collection of the 35 most insane Halloween costumes from around the world from the good people over at Cracked. Number 26 and 18 are big time winners in mine book.

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Number 20 just looks like some kinda fucked up holiday themed Luchador, but I'd love to see him wrestle. I could see him finishing his opponents with some kinda stiff and straight falling headbutt while shouting "Timber". Fuck I should be a booker. I mean that idea's no worse than GI Bro.

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Now how's about these vintage pictures that capture 'Halloween in the Time of Cholera'. Number 8 creeps the shit right out of me.

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Now it's time for more top notch reporting from Cracked with the 6 Signs You're About to be Attacked by Zombies. I don't know about you but I'm starting to prepare for World War Z (film scheduled for a 2010 release) . . . I already believe there is at least one zombie wondering the streets of my fair home town.

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And here's a list someone has compiled of 25 scary movies to watch for Halloween. I'd say over all a good list, no idea why Poltergeist and the Blair Witch Project are on it though.

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I think that's the Halloweenie stuff I've got for today, so how's about we go with one of the finest examples of vanity license plates I've seen in who knows how long, and that's saying a lot because generally I believe that vanity plates are not cool. Someone thought long and hard about that one, and kudos to them . . . and who knows, maybe they are the other other other white meat.

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Right this is probably about long enough already, but I've got one more thing to share before I goes . . . ever here of a little Canadian band that tried to do everything they could so no one would know they were from Canada, eh, called Rush? Maybe you have, anyway check out these guys who are at least as awesome who rock some Rush on kid's toy instruments. If you liked what they did with Rush you'll love what they do with Metallica's Master of Puppets.

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Later taters.

Just a quick one . . .

. . . I'm flying off to Sachigo Lake this morning for the day, so I don't have a lot of time, but I'm here so I'll share something. Not one of my usual northern haunts, but hey that's how it goes, right? Right.

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But hey who wants their MTV? I know someone must, so here's some good news, sorta. MTV has launched a website that's populated with entirely with music videos that you can watch and/or embed in your site or whatever. Downside I tried looking for two videos (The Cardigans - Lovefool and Motorhead - Ace of Spades and what I really wanted to figure out is if The Cardigans did a cover of Ace of Spades because for some reason I'd like to hear that) and neither were there, but maybe they're working on it.

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Guess there's no need to slag off Youtube just yet, after everything is on Youtube.

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And hey according to this article, I was right all along. Seems that the study referred to in the article reports that sharing your feelings after a trauma may not always be the best medicine, so suck it up buttercup.

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I think I'll leave you with this gem, quite possibly one of the greatest episodes of animated television ever, Megadeth on Duck Dodgers. I mean how can you go wrong with spaceships being blowed up the metally fury of guitar lasers? Answer me that.

I'll Remember You

Sebastian Bach has gone country. What's the world coming to? Sure I mean I can see Hootie going country. But it's true, if you don't believe me check it out for yourself.

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Now compare that to 18 and Life (which trust me sounds awesome in a Camaro, if you don't believe me maybe we can test it out in the spring). A classic for sure.

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Maybe a better comparison is I'll Remember You, but you get the idea. No matter I'm not heart broken over this, just thought I'd share.

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Well let's put some edge back on this, so here's a good interview with Ian MacKaye (of Fugazi, Minor Threat, Teen Idles, The Evens, Embrace, Egg Hunt, Skewbald/Grand Union and Pailhead).

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And to put a bit of cartoony back into it, how about Metallica's "The Four Horsemen" (I remember seeing Metallica on that tour in the old Winnipeg Arena, my first concert ever, I might still have the concert shirt upstairs, although it'd be way to small and faded nicely as only metal shirts can do) recreated entirely in an NES synth? Check it out yo. Man it's so awesome you'd swear it was nine bit sound!

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If that tickled your fancy then you'll also love the 8 bit NES Synth Final Countdown.

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All right that's enough of that for now, eh? It's no secret that I've travelled a bit and I'm huge mark for almost anything English so naturally when I read this article, I thought sweet here's one, or I guess I should say two, big reasons to go back to England. Then I read this one and was over to Expedia to check some flight costs.

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And shit while I'm over there might as well check out Scotland, I mean reading this article seems like it's an all right place to me. At least they've got their priorities straight.

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Speaking of priorities although it might seem early I've nearly worn out my Sears Wishbook so Chrimbo must be close at hand and that means you need a tree. I don't, but for some reason you do.

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Can you tell me why? I mean other than the fact your mum and dad did and so did their mums and dads? No matter it's always been so, so why stop? Anyway let me save you some work and show you where you can order your every own replica Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. Pretty awesome eh?

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PS Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia.

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Well that's enough of that. Think you're white and nerdy? Well find out just how white & nerdy you may or may not be here. Apparently I'm 42% white and nerdy. How do you stack up?

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Well I think that's her for now, but I will sign off with a treat for the fans of wrestling and nudie magazines. Before she was a WWe Diva Mickie James did her time doing nude modelling and here's a nice set of photos that eerily foretold the future.

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PS - check out the video I posted today, looks like someone has uploaded the entire and unedited Nirvana Unplugged performance, uncut to Youtube. Sure the quality's not the best and it's over an hour long but it will bring you back to those halcyon days of your youth when the only thing cooler than dressing in flannel and Docs was not giving a shit about anything.

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Oh slacking, non-committal Gen-X where are you know? In your cube, decked out in chinos reading this probably. FTW.

Gotta Go Back in Time

Nope it's an entry about Michael J. Fox this time, it's a collection of old timey photos of Thunder Bay, Ontario that were emailed to me a good long while ago that I thought I'd share. First up, a Post Office at the corner of Red River Road and Court Street.

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Here's a shot of Chippewa Park from 1932.
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Here's the Finnish Labour Temple from 1922, I'm sure you've eaten in the basement here at the world famous Hoito restaurant, or at least the fine folks in Thunder Bay think it's world famous . . . but then again the also think Thunder Bay is a Megopolis, so take it with a grain of salt.

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You can easily read the caption on this one I think.
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Here's a photo of the James Whalen, a tug boat that was used as an ice breaker on Lake Superior, taken in 1922 .
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Here's a photo taken July 2 1934 at one half of the city's semi-centennial, must be Port Arthur by the looks of it.
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Kakabeka Falls taken in 1885.
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Here's a cool shot of Memorial Avenue taken in 1914 before there was a Memorial Avenue. . . I have to say it looks a whole lot different now . . . to get it's present glory you'll have to picture a titty bar and quick lube place behind a fast food place just past the mall.
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And here's Silver Islet from 1900.
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Here's Memorial Avenue snowed in on February 2, 1939.
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And finally here's Syndicate Avenue at Victoria Avenue all the way back in 1890, I have to say it looks a little different now with the mall being there don't it?
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Wow, ain't Blogger a bitch for inserting photos and text and having your formatting getting all fucked up . . . oh well I'm sure in a couple tries I'll figure out the easy way.
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Anyway that's her for now, enjoy the pics and if you're in the Thunder Bay area and want a challenge take current pics to match these ones and send them to me. I think it'd be pretty cool to do don't you?
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Laterz.

Ch ch ch ch ch ah ah ah ah

As you may or may not know there is a new Friday the 13th film being released Friday February 13, 2009 (is there any other day really?) and if you're interested you can check out the trailer for it here. It does seem to have some of the lines straight from the original, but if I remember right Jason didn't get his infamous hockey mask until the end of the second film or sometime in the third one and I'm thinking it was in the third film.

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I may have to blow the dust off all the VHS copies of these films that I have and warm the VCR and check. Or maybe one of you knows the answer right off the top of your head?

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And while we're on the topic of new film trailers, how about this new trailer for the Watchmen movie? Tell me that doesn't look cool - and believe you me the story is great, let's just hope it translates to the screen better than some of Alan Moore's other stories, after the studio totally pooched the film adaptation of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, but honestly the graphic novel is quite good. It really is, you should read it. Needless to say I'm really looking forward to March 6, 2009.

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We're running short on time this morning, so I will leave you with this bit of advice. Step it the fuck up Winnipeg! I just read this horrific bit of news yesterday, but according to that article it seems that Saskatoon has replaced Regina as the murder capitol of Canada. Man oh man do you remember when it was always Winnipeg?

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I wonder what's happened? Maybe the locals have finally gotten around to reading their license plates and have taken the motto "Friendly Manitoba" to heart . . . or maybe they're just too busy stealing cars to be shooting and stabbing anyone?

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I wonder how my lovely little town rates on the murders per 100,000 stat? I mean if I understand math right, and I often do, with a population of about 5,200 people if we have one murder per yer that would put us at 19.2 murders per 100,000. That's triple Saskatoon's numbers . . . so hopefully we don't have one murder per year in our lovely little or we'll be getting whacks of free publicity . . . again. But then again the article said homicide, and I'm sure you can kill someone and have it technically not be a homicide.

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Good thing we've got lawyers, eh?

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Anyway I gotta motor, until next time.

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PS - I'd just like to say hello to the person who found this blog by Googling "Sexual Predators in Sioux Lookout" and let them know, no no no, it's not me babe, it's not me you're looking for.

Back At It

Yep we're back at it again after what a break of three weeks or so?

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Where have I been you wonder? What have I been doing? Well we're glad you asked, the start to the break in the blogging was because I spent four days in lovely Niagara Falls at the Fallsview Sheraton, for work of all things. So that takes care of part of it . . . but before we go on, I want to know, why is it that the more I pay for a hotel room, the worse I get treated?

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I mean if I stay at a place for $90 a night I get free internet in my room and breakfast the next day. Spend over $200 a night and internet costs me $15.00 a day and breakfast is a $25? I don't get it, either that or the service industry doesn't. No matter it didn't cost me and I had a sweet view of the falls from the 30th floor of the hotel . . . I almost needed an oxygen mask for the elevator ride to my room.

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So anyway back to why I wasn't here . . . the day travelling back to town after the Niagara Falls trip was also spent driving, well riding shotgun, to Winnipeg for a couple nights at the Place Louis Riel (I wonder how many other countries have places, hotels or holidays (albeit a provincial one) for a man hanged for high treason? Well I guess the UK does have bonfire night for good old Guy Fawkes and his merry band of Catholic Conspirators (or political fallguys or patsies)) to geek it up flatlander style at the Manitoba Comicon and eat Indian food.

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The con was great fun, over 16, 000 people went through over the two days and I scored some cool new toys, some new graphic novels, got Lou Ferrigno's autograph (who's still a big man, I could barely get my hand around his to shake it), got to meet a new and great artist Laurie B. (I'm sure once you see her art you'll know why I was so enthralled with her work and couldn't decide what to buy from her, but settled on a sketch book, that way I got it all). Big ups to her for putting up with me coming back to her table several times flipping threw her art . . . but given her line of work and the target audience I'm sure she's used to it. If not she put on a great front and sometimes I can handle being lied to.

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We also got to chat with a TV Superboy for a bit, watched Helen Slater (the movie Supergirl) from a safe distance, and trust me she's still looking good, saw Erica Durance (who surprisingly has no bum at all, don't get me wrong, she's good looking, but then she turned around and pow, there's back, there's legs, there's no ass . . . I don't know how she poops).

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We also saw a rather scary looking tranny Supergirl (who was Batgirl or should I say Bat Ladyboy the next day) but that's okay . . . that was more than balanced with all the giggity from the girls, although many of them were jailbait, I'll admit it, prancing about in their comic book costumery. Needless to say it filled my mind with superhero powered sin.

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If you're into Indian food and in Winnipeg check that place out, I eat there regularly when I'm in the city, and I think it's good . . . and who's a better judge of quality Indian food than a big white guy from a small town that grew up thinking there were only four kinds of cheese in the whole world (cheddar, mozza, cheez whiz and cheese slices) and grew up in a house where black pepper was considered a blazing hot spice? Hey answer me that.

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And you're in luck, it looks like you can order spices through the restaurant website if you're interested - I can't promise that the same spices will make the food at home just as good, but it's a start eh?

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We also spent a rather amusing evening at the East Kildonian Legion . . . Legions are Legions it seems but this one had the first $2.50 drinks I've had in a long time, and for that and a few of the regular patrons it will hold a special place in my heart for a while.

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So that explains away one week and a long weekend, then I was in Kasabonika for work . . .and the weather was miserable, cold wet rainy snow, low ceiling, just miserable . . . but I made it out when I was supposed and no one got hurt.

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Then there was a couple days in Kingfisher Lake this week, throw in a couple busy weekends and pow she's all gone and here we are. but now let's get down to bidnizz bitches . . .

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I think I owe you all a little public service announcement here and sorry for the short notice, but if you were ever a fan of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video, on Oct 25th you will have the chance to dance the same routine simultaneously with others worldwide. You can read about it here, but it's taking place tomorrow so you'd better read fast and call into work sick so you can spend the day getting your zombie dance choreography down.

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Why this might even be better than the Thai Prison Thriller Dance . . . but that's going to be hard to top, doncha think?

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In entertainment news, according to this there's a Muppet movie for adults in the works . . . this leaves me wondering if that means we'll have to see Miss Piggy being DP'd on the big screen? No matter I'm sure I'll go see it either way, after all you cannot go wrong with the Muppets. I just wish that someone was rerunning the Muppet Show . . . but maybe it will come, after all Teletoon Retro is rerunning Fraggle Rock at the moment.

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If you're ever after a good laugh on the job site, pull the netting/straps out of your hardhat, put it back on your head and proclaim yourself a Doozer. Trust me it's a hoot.

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Well that's all we have time for today, but I will leave you with this lovely cross over of geekery and giggity, check out this picture from the new Star Trek film and I'm sure you'll be pleased to see the that the Original Series uniforms are back baby yeah. There are some words to go along with the picture here, but you don't care about that do you?

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Anyway, I'm outtie.

Public Service Announcement

In case you aren't already aware the National Canadian Do Not Call List went online the other day, so if you'd like to register your phone numbers on there to keep most telemarketing calls from getting (some are exempt from the list like political parties, companies you've done business with in the last so much time, shit like that) go and sign on. That is of course if you believe that telemarketers will actually give a shit about this law and that when they do break it that someone will actually enforce it.

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Here's to hoping though.

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How about a little history? Did you know that on this day in 1871 Mormon prophet Brigham Young is arrested for cohabitating with a 16-year-old girl. Even 100 years ago jailbait was hard to resist.

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That's enough real information - now how about some sweet pics from Oktoberfest in Munich, which is apparently the German festival of girls kissing girls. How do you say Giggity in German? Guess I'm going to have to save up for a ticket for this bad boy.

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Since we're talking about Germany, how about this article that talks about how herds of German women are stampeding out to get their one time oh so cool tramp stamps, or as the Germans call them Arschgeweih, literally “ass antlers”, because they aren't cool any more . . . and even more likely because everyone thinks you're a whore and/or stripper if you've got one.

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I'm not saying that I necessarily do, I'm just saying that most people do . . . me I just figure you're big on trends. But next time instead of getting a piece of body that's going to be cool for a couple years and then not, go out and buy a crazy new hat or those sweet sunglasses that all the kids are wearing these days, yeah you know the ones, the ones that make you look like a total d-bag just for wearing them.

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At least when they're not cool anymore you can bin them and the only proof that you ever had a set would be a couple photos and fuzzy remembrances to be dusted off for an embarrassing slide show at your wedding and/or retirement.

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Well we're running out of time, so in honour of cold and flu season I'll leave you with this article that talks about a new cure for congestion . . . so go bust a nut for your health. If you don't have someone there to help you out, go have a wank for your health. Man what can't it do, keep you young, clear your sinuses, make you go blind and crazy and put hair on your palms. Sooo-oh sweet.

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I gotta go I think I feel cold coming on.

Would you eat a 6 month old chocolate bar?

No? Well what if I dare you? Double dare? Triple Dog Dare you?

Well too late too late. According to this article in the National Post looks like you just may have. Obviously these months old chocolate bars are fine, you've likely been eating them your whole life without knowing any better. But damn isn't it scary seeing it in print like that? Me if I were you, and I'm not praise Jebus, I wouldn't worry about eating the 1/2 year old confectionery treat, but be wondering how much better a fresh one would taste.
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And WTF isn't the national post a Canadian paper? Why are they referring to them as candy bars? Does anyone in Canada do that? Or is it just a Northwestern Ontario thing to call them chocolate bars?
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Fuck I'm going to eat some Old Dutch chips because those of you unlucky enough to suffer through living in TO don't have that option. And I'll wash them down with some pop - not soda.

Or maybe a beer . . . speaking of, check out this lovely little list from Cracked which points out the nine things that (you think) your beer says about you. Pass me a PBR will you.

Enough snacking, how about something amazing? Check out this amazing photo taken from the top of the Burj Dubai skyscraper. When this photo was taken it was 688 metres (over 2257 feet) tall (Empire State Building is a measly 381 metres (1250 feet) without the antenna and the CN Tower is 553 metres (1815 feet) tall). When all is said and done this building is supposed to be 853 metres (almost 2800 feet) tall . . . that's better than a half mile tall.

As of September 28 it was 713.7 meters (over 2340 feet) tall and here are some more photos. Pretty amazing eh? I'll let you make your own joke about this being why gas is over $6.00 a gallon . . . me I'm too busy trying to imagine what the foundation under that big bastard is like.

I think we're about out of time here so I'll leave you with a nifty little personality quiz, it rolls through a bunch of different categories you select the picture of the thing you like the best or best represents what you're about and then it tells you're a bed wetter with an Oedipus complex. Not that the plastic sheets and all those pictures of you and your mum don't give that away.

Apparently I'm a mood sofisticat, when it comes to fun I'm a conqueror, habit wise I'm a new wave puritan and a social nostalgic. How do you stack up?

And oh yeah if you don't like the answers you get you can always try again picking different favourites. Cheater.

Later gators.

Happy Birthday Jerry Lee

It seems that on this very day way back in 1976 Jerry Lee Lewis opened up a couple great balls of fire on his then bass player Norman Owens while trying open a pop can with a .357 magnum. Mr. Owens survived and went on to sue Jerry Lee over the incident . . . but this just makes me think, I had some really lame party games at my birthdays.

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Oh well I guess if you're the kinda guy who'd marry a 13 year old cousin behind your family's back you're really going to know how to tear it up. Unlike anyone who signs on for the course being offered in Jedi studies by a UK university. You can read a bit about it here, but just remember no matter what you do don't drunkenly leap over a fence proclaiming yourself Darth Vader and start to beat on the Jedis in training with a broomstick. Just ask this guy.

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Although another word to the wise, if you're a grown man and going to start a Jedi Church and have lightsabre battles in your backyard, be prepared for attacks from the Empire (and no I don't mean Starbucks or Wal Mart this time) and just suck it up when you do. A lump on the head and bruised leg seem like small potatoes in the grand scheme of things, and come on you were asking it for it.

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Since I mentioned evil empires up there we may have to add IKEA to the that list as well, seems that Israel has some how disappeared from maps sold by IKEA in Abu Dhabi, or at least that's what I read here and why would they lie. Oh those crazy Arabs.

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Well I think it's time for something decidedly less serious - how about a comprehensive list of 15 reasons why Canada is better than your country . . . unless of course your country is Canada, in which case we've just created a vicious circular reference that may lead to the end of the world as we know it.

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And while we're talking about the greatest of Canada, how's a $12, 000.00 speeding ticket from Alberta. When I first read this article about an Albertan speeding on a motorcycle my first thought was "Wow his insurance is going through the roof".

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Honestly, how lame a reaction is that?

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Then I thought, must be a crotch rocket . . . then I thought that's a little higher (3 km/h) than the top speed of my car - not that I've reached those speeds . . . but I can say there was a time when I said to myself "Self you're never going to drive that fast again" - and in case you're curious it may have been faster than the guy in the Chevy Cobalt mentioned at the end of that article.

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You've likely heard about already, but legendary actor Paul Newman recently died, here's an early article about the man and his death. It's too bad Mr. Newman is gone, but his films and popcorn and salad sauce live on.

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And in honour of Episode 1 of Season 3 of Heroes tonight, here's some pics of Hayden Panettiere popping out of her bikini a little on her birthday. Talk about happy birthday to you. Enjoy.

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That's her for now . . . takin' it off here boss.

Remains of a Moose Battle in Northwestern Ontario

I didn't take these pictures nor do I know who did, all I know is someone emailed them to me cliaming them to be the remains of moose battle in Northwestern Ontario. With the two bull moose having their racks stuck together like that it must've been one helluva fight and shitty way to have your ticket punched, don't you think?

Now You Can't Complain About Your Job

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Unless of course it's your job to climb up an elephant's ass to your knees. Then you can complain.

I Don't Believe It

So Wednesday I read the local paper, because as we've discussed that's what you do and well holy sheep shit if there isn't an article, on the front page no less, that actually sounded critical, in a kinda passive agressive way but critical none the less . . . or at least that's how things appeared to me.

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If you're interested in seeing that I'm right or proving that I'm wrong check out the "Town Council Votes Against Development Charges". Reading the article I really got the impression that the reporter was pro-development charges and doesn't think that the correct decision was made. So now we're stuck in the spot having to use tax increases to pay for all the development that's going to be happening here in town in the next while that's being forecast.

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How can we tell that we're in for a flurry development? Why all the empty shops and businesses for sale around town that's how . . . oh and the pretty much indefinite mill layoff. Those are all great signs of a town on the move. I just can't wait for travelling singing monorail salesman to come to town, because we all that the monorails they bought in Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook put them on the map.

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After reading about the development fee bylaw being voted down I thought now that's a good thing. Then I had a little flash of brilliance . . . it's generally accepted by many and often thought by me that this council has made some bad decisions, some would say habitually, but not me because that word is hard to say . . . so taking that into account one would have to conclude that in fact development fees were exactly what this town needed (who cares that we're the only one in NW Ont that would have them, but then again where not shrinking at the same rate as every other town in NW Ont either) or the council is starting to see things right. Let's hope it's latter and not the former, eh?

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Oh well enough of that for now - let's get onto the real business at hand . . .

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According to the article if you've been punching out kangaroos and putting up videos on YouTube, the Australian police would like to have a word with you . . . and I'd like to shake your hand, because after all that was the biggest toughest mouse I ever sawed. This appears to be the video in question, if you're into seeing Kanga getting knocked the fucked out.

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I think this is poetic justice. You know those hidden camera prank shows on TV? Well okay maybe I can only think of one right now, Just For Laughs: Gags (what is it about Francos and those shitty scare gags anyway?), but no matter, seems that some guy on an eastern European version of one of these show walks up to his car only to find some guy vandalizing it with paint and it ends exactly how I think these things should end. You can check it out here to see for yourself.

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Remember kids, don't fuck with a man's car and don't make fun of it either.

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All right I think it's go time, but I will leave with this - I think I want to marry this girl . . . or at least call her up and try to sell her something.

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That's her for now - later gators.

Time Travel = Bullshit

Hey anyone watch the two hour season premiere of Heroes last night on NBC?

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I know I sure did, and I walked away from it with this one overwhelming feeling - Time Travel is Bullshit. I don't care how you pile it, it's still bullshit. Even when Michael J Fox did it it was bullshit and you know it.

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You disagree? Well you're wrong. Take last night for example - really it's no big deal that the speedy chick (anyone else think that they should have got Lola from Run Lola Run to play her?) stole Hiro's paper.

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Why you ask?

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Because he can go back in time, over and over again to just before or hours or days before to try to stop her or to stop her or to stop himself from doing something so it doesn't happen. Shit he could go back in time years and run her down with a POS Mazda while she's walking on a sidewalk to get to a baseball game to keep her from ever even coming close to getting the chance to snatch his secret formula of eleven secret herbs and spices.

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Or take Future Peter Petrelli fucking everything up by coming back and messing with the time line. Well no problem, just time travel his ass to the appropriate moment and convince himself not to do it - or at least not to do parts of it. Whatever best suits his needs, desires, agenda. Sure he thinks shooting his brother is good, but getting Claire Sylerized is bad, so play it like that, go back, stop one don't stop the other. Seems so straight forward to me.

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So simple, I think you'll have to agree that time travel is a shitty plot device because you have to leave so many holes and bits of broken logic into the story line to make it work and quite often I can't suspend that much disbelief. I mean think about - with time travel there's never suspense or fear of failure because if something doesn't work out, just go back and try again. It's like a real life reset button. After all it was the over reliance on time travel, as well as the complete disregard for the established history of that particular universe, that got me to stop watching Star Trek Enterprise.

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But what do I know about such things. That's enough for now eh? Here's to hoping that I won't walk away from every episode of Heroes this season being pissed off about time travel . . . and hopefully I'll remember what happened this season - I mean I really can't remember much of what happened last season and it was what two months long? Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all.

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Until next time.

Well Shiver Me Timbers

Today be talk like a pirate day ye scurvy dogs - and if'n ye don't wants to be keel hauled or made to walk the plank ye'll follow suit, savvy?

Need one for the office

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Just another manic monday

I'm thinking that it's time for me to get some new specs and I asked for suggestions. One particularly helpful fellow suggested I get myself a nice big pair of Jackie O glasses (BTW if you're male and you wear these glasses you'd best be into dudes because that's the message you're giving the world. Just trying to help you out here), because all the kids are wearing them these days. Now I'm positive this was done tongue in cheek, but no matter I couldn't pass up the opportunity to agree and point out that I could start popping my collar and wearing a golf visor so that everyone would know what a great d-bag I am.

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The talk of glasses means I have to post this article, all about one of the saddest days for law enforcement . . . seems that some coppers in the UK have been told to stop wearing the classic state trooper mirrored shades. What next, no more mustasches?

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While doing some research I came across this gem (it's truly truly truly outrageous) which points out the nine worst recent fashion trends for d-bags.

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Since I mentioned kids and their strange, and admittedly incorrect, view of what's cool up there, here's the Beloit College Mindset List for kids going into their first year of uni right . . . now! If you're not familiar the Beloit List basically gives reference points or factoids of the world that the college freshman have grown up in, stuff like they've never known a world without GPS or with Sammy Davis Jr.

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Number 30 on the list is a big favourite of mine, as it may be true that at the restaurant McDonald's uses only vegetable oil too finish off their fries, but when they're pre-cooking them at the french fry factory it's animal fat all the way. I'm sure there's some finger nails and band-aid or two thrown in for good measure as well.

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We often play a similar game but more like with kids in elementary school if there's a teacher a round or using a friend's kid as an example. Think about it, you might remember getting your first microwave oven, but that kid in grade six, thanks to that wonderous invention, may never have known the wonders that is fried spaghetti or reheating an entire pot of soup for a couple bowls.

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Well that's her for now and remember, friends don't let friends pop collars.

It's Friday Night!

Anyone else remember the Friday Night Girls from Codco? Probably not, eh? I mean I'm sure you had better shit to do around 1990 than watch east coast comedy on the CBC.

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Well in honour of Friday night, let's hit up a couple "Now this is partying" segments. Here's your first:

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Check this out . . . you know it's bad when cops knock on your motel room door after smelling marijuana. But you know it's going to be worse when you're a principal . .. and you're caught drinking, smoking, and watching porn with a 16-year old girl . . . and her younger sister. Say it with me folks, now that's partying.

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And here's one more to check out - an Indiana man gave beer to his 1-year-old nephew saying, "he's a champ, he can handle it," then punched his girlfriend in the face when she objected and sped away in her SUV, threatening to kill her and her daughter when he returned.

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Now that's partying.

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Now it's time for something much, much more serious. If you've ever wondered "How would the U.S. military fight off an attack by a zombie army?" wonder no longer because I've got the answers right here for you. It's a well written article and plugs this book as source material.

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If you're curious about how you'd fair in a Zombie attack, check out The Zombie Preparedness Quiz - apparently I'm only 33% percent likely to survive Z-Day. Even so I'm going to take a few of those undead bastards down with me, that's a promise. And if not that I'll just throw a few of the slower and weaker living people to the Zombies to slow them down some.

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Hey you're thinking you'd do it too, I just admitted it.

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It ain't Zombies but check out this live action acted out introduction the Real Ghostbusters cartoon show. Pretty cool eh? All I want to know is, is Janine single and is she into big hairy bald geeks? She at least has to be into geeks if she's willing to take part in something as awesome as this, that's for sure.

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While we're on the topic of the paranormal, how about we take a look at the Gremlins invading some other classic films including The Exorcist, The Goonies and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Here's the video, enjoy.

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Okay now how about something honestly serious? I know it'll be hard to take but I think it'll be worth it here. Check out this collection of photos that changed Canada. There are some really good ones there and I was glad to see the inclusion of the photo from the Battle of Somme, even if that picture was staged. It's pretty well accepted that it was the Canadian soldiers sacrifice and successes in the first world war that lead to Canada being seen as her own independent country and a major player on the world stage instead of just one of Mother England's plaid wearing, fur trapping, tree cutting goofy colony offspring off on the other side of the world.

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Honestly we'll still seen like that by some, thanks Bob & Doug, but at least now there are blue helmets in the picture, even if they are firmly in place over top of our toques.

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I guess that's worthy of a truly Canadian apology, don't you think?

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I think I'll sign off the same way the CBC does, or did, today. Until next time.

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PS - that's not the sign off I wanted, but it was the closest I could easily find. If you have or find an older one send it on over eh.

So. Fraking. Metal.

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Chuck says . . .

. . . I'm done with Sergio, treats me like a rag doll.

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Ah remember that one? No? Come on, it was a big hit for Perry Farrell when he was fronting Jane's Addiction. It's a really good song, and not a whole lot like (but no so radically different either I suppose) what Jane's Addiction had going on the rest of the time. You can check out a really good live version of the song, complete with steel drums, here if you're so inclined.

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If you don't remember Jane Says, I bet you still sing this song to yourself every time your popping a few grapes from the produce rack or a couple wine gums from the bulk candy bins when you're walking the aisles of the local Safeway (I hear it's today's better way too).

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There's a bit of musical good news to share around as well - first off none other than the Watchmen are going to be playing a reunion show at the MTS Centre in Winnipeg (it's one great city you know?) on October 30 as part of Power 97's Powerball. Tickets go on sale this Saturday at 10:00 AM. I don't know about you but I'm really thinking about hitting this one up.

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Also rocking the shit out of Winnipeg will be none other than Mr. Danko Jones on October 9th at Silverados. I swear there's a conspiracy to keep me from seeing Danko play, I do believe I'm out of town for work that day and the really shitty part is I'll likely going to be in Winnipeg the day after this show. Show info here if you're interested, and if you like to rock you should be.

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I'm sure that this tour won't be coming anywhere near to me, which is too bad, but according to this article the Pogues are going to be reuniting for a Christmas time tour (because nothing says Christmas like the Pogues. If you don't believe me listen to this), providing Shane McGowan lives that long that is.

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If you're more into Hardcore then you'll be happy to hear that none other than the Bad Brains are reuniting on Election Day 2008 for their first show with original line-up in 10 years, and new album. You can read more about it here if. If you're not familiar with the Bad Brains, you should check them out they've got a great groove to their particular style of punk and I like most of their stuff as long as they aren't preaching Rasta too hard . . . which believe me they can and will do.

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I just wonder if they're still banned in DC?

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If you'd like to learn more about Hardcore, check out the book and/or film American Hardcore. Both are well worth the time you'll put into them.

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That's it, I'm outta here for now . . . but baby I got to know, do you kiss on the first date?

We now return to our broadcast already in progress

Yep took a little break there - didn't intend to, it just happened. If you really want to know why, it's because I was wicked sick. In fact I've got a nice case of the sweats going on right now as I type this and no I don't think it's entirely related to being a fat guy.

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No matter I'm back. This won't likely be the most inspired post on here yet but it's something and I'm sure there will be more frequent posts in the future. Or not. After all you get you what you pay for.

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No matter I've got some great news for Bruce Campbell fans, which is everyone who isn't mentally deficient and/or Amish, and the Amish would be if they would just allow demon electricity and the deviltry of television into their hearts, but it seems that this article (with movie trailer goodness) proclaims that Bruce's long-delayed film "My Name Is Bruce" finally set for Halloween release.

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All I can say is hail to the King, baby.

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It's not geek cult classic film at any stretch, but it's still pretty awesome. Check out this article with some pretty cool, pun entirely intended, pics of a Russian free diver hitching a ride on a Beluga Whale. (Did you make it through all five minutes of that one? I know I couldn't/wouldn't/didn't.)

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Well I've run out of gas already, so I'll leave you with this link which makes wish that I had a spare eight grand, US, laying around.

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Laters.